Poetry Series
Kurt Barekman
- poems -
2
Kurt Barekman (01/17/94)
Never have regrets because at one point everything you did was exactly
what you wanted. These are the words that i should have been living by for
all these years. I have now proceeded to live by this. In affect i live like i am
dying, although i hope to hold that off for a long while.
3
Alone Again
Fading light bright in your eyes
Hurt strong and painful goodbyes
Warm passionate keeping alive love
perhaps this is a sign maybe of something above
no earthly feeling love matches none
life a dull grey metal matching a gun
shooting through a void none alone
yellow balloons smiley faces blown
take me away please
hollow gone need to be appeased
fading shadows bright lights
black strong oppressive knight
taking my hand on a trip
of magical colors and rainbows reality rips
take my hand if you may
lead me away
spiraling away so fast
sailing ship limp sails broken mast
think of the past and its horrors
present day with all the sorrows
take my hand fly away
keep everything at bay
who needs them this cruel and evil world
with everything that we have poured
Kurt Barekman
4
An ode to CCENT
CCENT how i love you so
360 dollars down a drain of eternal sorrow
fail fail and fail again
727,803 and 803 yet some more
an 804 my dear is all i need
just a point to get my id
a certification would mean so much to me
Kurt Barekman
5
Contemplations of the Mind
So i went about thinking
What is the pointing of the world and its soul drinking
Always easy on the other side
Greener grass always with the time we bide
So how do we jump to the greener side?
Why it is as simple as suicide
warped thoughts control thee now
Brain waves come forward and take a bow
sitting in a bathtub bleeding deep
then you seem to get a peep
the light you say
but you the idiot are about to pay
you see all whom you have cared
sitting by you pair by pair
crying weeping yes in pain
emotions gone full of pain
Kurt Barekman
6
Diamonds Sky Bound
Twinkle Twinkle little star
looking up from beyond the bar
drunken thoughts filling me
somehow find who i will truly be
beer in one hand whiskey in the other
grieving the death of a true brother
dead and gone maybe forever
dead and gone never to be together
again the tears the sorrow the pain
the sand paper of life going against the grain
warm embrace strong arms
laughter happiness a shield from harm
drunken giggles burst forth
thoughts of madness give birth
alone maybe sorrow felt
alone yes my hand dealt
Kurt Barekman
7
fear
lonely road full of fear
somthing in my heart held so dear
darkness closing on the day
all wrong deeds about to pay
panic rising in my chest
pressure building about to get the rest
of me, heart racing
to hell with pacing
all out sprint towards my destination
no time to be wasting
your arms my castle
to your heart i am its vassal
every window filled with light
to sleep i fall, i am tired of this fight
Kurt Barekman
8
For my love
gone to the pain
a love so great so fast to wain
strengthened again and again
by the scratchings of a lonely pen
damned to suffer all night
to resume in the morning a fight
to get through a day so dreary
oh how it leaves me so weary
a great star bursting with love
only on the horizon my saving dove
in the form of a woman so deep
how in her arms i feel the need to weep
for my happiness fills me with such haste
all my sadness set aside like so much waste
heal me please for the day has taken
my soul which is now forsaken
dedicated to Arleah Myerson
Kurt Barekman
9
Gone
There for me are my friends
with me to the earth and its ends
we live through every plight
every god damned fight
then suddenly its all different
you, suddenly so indifferent
We, together forever walk
In opposite directions, no talk
I see, white, beautiful a dove
No, beautiful, not at all love
I try to exercise a will to not make it plain
I, me, him, he, am in pain
white, raised, terrible are my scars.
I throw, hurl, plow myself under cars
So easy simple, hang by chain
my intentions, so plain
But that is stupid, dumb, not intelligent so lame
Not like you, him, her, them so lame
Kurt Barekman
10
hate to the fake
so i was looking at this place
everyone so up and on the chase
the hate spills into my pores
the blood flowing all over my doors
the fake hate you poser you
you dont know the pain i go through
i hate myself day by day
thinking of ways to to kill way by way
tonight i journey to inky blackness
Kurt Barekman
11
Hell fire and brimstone
darkness blinding me
more than sunlight ever sees
like war an organized fight
blood fury wipes away site
holocaust given to the angry god
in the form of her distorted body
the ring the one and only one
staring down the barrel of a loaded gun
blood socked in torn
now where is the fun
you promised me my dear
torn apart stuck together with glue
jagged pieces made to tear apart you
hatred building softening heats
unaware they are blown to parts
kill me now end this pain
has it not become plain
i suffer now end it please
or be brought down with me
darkness waiting in my world
hell firing burning away you turn
run you may forever i follow
now you feel my pain i see
i smile with a viscous glee
final blows hit my head
forever i am with the dead
Kurt Barekman
12
Hold Me
Blood coursing through my veins
taking away all my great pains
you next to me snuggly and warm
creating inside me a great storm
eyes glowing in the twilight around us
gazing deeply i feel i must
butterflies taking flight in my chest
to make you joyful, i try my best
all i ask in return you see
is for you to occasionally hold me
and for you to say 'i love you'
to make me warm all through
take me away with you to rest
hold me tight to your breast
and wipe away all my pain
break away all the chains
set my spirit free
make my life an eternal glee
can you help me, please you must
wipe away all the dust
of ages past and years gone by
hold me beautiful, until we die
Kurt Barekman
13
Humpty Dumpty's Fall
dont worry im always there
for you to hold me tight
always there to bring down the fight
dont worry im always there to cry in your arms
always there to fall apart and cause myself harms
dont worry im always there to be so weak
always there to be so meek
dont worry im always there to try my best
always there to put my heart to rest
dont worry im always there with a broken heart
always there to tear myself apart
with all the kings men and horses could not put humpty back together
maybe you can.
Kurt Barekman
14
I am
I am real
I am in love
I am happy
I am yours
I am forever
I am living slowly
I am who i am
but i am yours
i am here
i am listening
just talk and i will hear
i will understand
intimate nights spent
in the future
Kurt Barekman
15
Imagine How God Feels
light bright falling thickly
smiling faces enjoying the breeze
suns rays warming the sinners face
from the cold dark place
that he calls his home
rags and riches with tattered poems
some about his love
some for his pet dove
others he writes just for fun
when he is out toasting his buns
on a warm fire
then it is off to burn the pire
of the dead whom he loves above all
from the big to the medium to the tall
he loves everyone of them
each with their eyes a tiny gem
dying everyday by the droves
bodies used to fertilize his groves
imagine how god feels
Kurt Barekman
16
Last resort
Running running running
falling falling falling
into your arms bloody
so barren so dry
warm embrace brittle
weak decrepit
what is left for me to see
what is left for me to love
about myself
bones broken
crackle and pop
pain an ecstasy
all in itself
habitual no mercy
hate only myself
forgive me
Kurt Barekman
17
lonesome again
gently ache left in my heart
it feels like i have broken a part
of something vital just maybe
or perhaps i'm just lost just maybe
in a thought world full of peril
evil things about to fill my barrel
full of insanity and fear
perhaps i can escape with one of these beers
or maybe i can find another way
that will not make me pay
for my sins that i have committed
oh please let them be omitted!
from my holy record at the golden gate
as i sit in line and wait
for you to save me from my hell
Kurt Barekman
18
lost love
flowers and poems flowing free
blossoming buds the flowers of the tree
sorrow filling the pit of my heart
loves bite like a sour tart
i tried my best do you see?
all i could do. does it have to be
flames boiling off into steam
take me away with your magical beam
darkness penetrating deep into my thought
why is it so hard to keep what i have so hard fought
piercing eyes of a porcelain face
so perfect and crisp putting me to disgrace
stop the horror the pain
don't make all my work be in vain
new hope on a horizon so black
smog so thick, I'm beginning to hack
so bright and pure a light
motivation to see to fight
again one more day
perhaps i will not have to again pay
hold me please tightly dear
wipe away the fear
Kurt Barekman
19
Love
Love coursing through tight veins
eyes flashing passion
Love brightening washing away pains
take me away in your arms
Love nurturing a barren soul
hold me all through the night
Love a flag of hoping hanging from a pole
Kiss me make it all better again.
Kurt Barekman
20
My friend
crazy is as crazy does
coiming down from my whiskey buzz
thinking of you
oh can it be true
the words i love you echo
there is no way to let go
Kurt Barekman
21
My Mirrror
life walking alive and breathing
death alone rotting and seething
truth fuzzy not clear around edges
lies sharp clear driving wedges
together a couple embracing with joy
alone a razor slicing neat rows a new toy
bleeding blood soaking deep into skin
healing each thread filled with the stabbing of a pin
easy hiding behind the wall of fear
hard standing up confronting that fear
taking away my hands shielding eyes
standing up crying through goodbyes
seeing things as the are
realizing it is not as they were
falling in love warm and above
all influence all i feel is your love
all i know is i love you
confusion swirls love strong
Kurt Barekman
22
Night
Evening falling into darkness
air cooling less and less
clouds boiling with fury
children looking up parents begin to worry
animals shriek in terror
fear rushing through their bones down to the marrow
Night has fallen my love
come in to my arms, your saving dove
do not be caught in the freeze
evil is blowing in with a breeze
take me away in your arms
shield me from my many harms
Kurt Barekman
23
Ode to a printer cartridge
oh how i love thee let me count the ways
oh please buy me that printer cartridge off of ebay
i can no longer print
i am in a great deal of dismay
oh how i adore the oh printer cartridge
that you thy pay
C. Falk
Kurt Barekman
24
Promise not to stop when i say when
Dreams in the night sky
so many things to do before i die
i had hoped to say
something about my dreams held at bay
tired eyes do look with disdain
terrible things full of pain
misery, and most of all hate
but wait please all we must do is wait
take me in your arms let me know its okay
save me before i have to pay
tears leaving tracks on cheeks
the man behind them so meek
afraid of his shadow afraid of all
all he can do day after day is bawl
fading fast a window of blame
on whom ever we can find so lame
are we
crippled as can be
horrifying thoughts cross their minds
fighting so fiercely i am bound
and chased through the woods by the hounds
kiss me my sweet
i am not worthy to wash your feet
a mind so unclean
no information you can glean
lost in a forest of dispair
broken teeth tangled hair
it wont hurt i promise
not if you promise
sincerely to not stop when i say when
keep on going whip me in my pen
make me bleed
take not the warnings i heed
scars rise up pink
so ugly i am they must think
they know nothing
about their punishing
soon it will be here
sent to hell never to return my dear
hang on soon we are free
soon we are full of glee.
Kurt Barekman
25
remember me
remember me not for my faults
remember me not for my dishonor
remember for the things i've done
the lives i've changed
the people i've fixed
the message i've spread
Kurt Barekman
26
Shadow World
shadows dancing bright
volume rising, what a fright!
your anger flowing over me
nipping and scratching with so much glee
i don't know how much longer i can take it
fear coursing through my veins, quit, Quit, QUIT! !
your blows of hate and pain be no more
for i am walking out this door
never to come back to the shadow world
where my life and reality are twirled
given in favor for a darkness so dank
from now in you shall draw a blank
Kurt Barekman
27
Sleep
Sleep glorious warmth darkness
come envelop me in your arms
dreams night terrors full so heartless
keeping me awake so late each night
fear encouraging terror of the night
coming towards me ever faster
begging me please of please to the light
love beautiful warm and eternal
come to me please oh baby please
worshiped at the altar of the majesty so infernal
embrace me hold me make me it so i dont fear
tears dripping tracks down filthy cheeks.
come to me maybe we can make it clear
Kurt Barekman
28
Starbucks with black coffee
sitting at a starbucks drinking coffee
laptop on counter thinking of you
the bitterness of black coffee falling for you
the absence of sweetness an exact opposite of you
falling into heavy awakening
caffeine coursing through my exhausted veins
Kurt Barekman
29
Summer Dreams
Once again summer fills the air
Winter and spring gone with the deadly pair
Along to freedom, hopes and love
Pure birds more beautiful than doves
Kurt Barekman
30
The Goodnight Poem
off to the land of dreams i go
refusing to go with the flow
wicked and evil full of might
refusing to let up their nighttime fight
never willing to let me go
pressure building about to blow
so goodnight i must say
and i will be on my way
Kurt Barekman
31
To Whom It May Concern
To whom this may concern
i continue to hope and yearn
for a utopia of epicness
for my world is full of epilepticness
not to insult those in the world who suffer
for i am waiting for my YouTube video to buffer
Kurt Barekman
32
Walking
Walking on sunshine
its got to feel good
Walking so sublime
floating on air
Walking across hot stone
rubber soles melting
Walking across frigid ice frozen to the bone
feet aching no sensation
walking across the desert solitude
vulture watch my every step
walking back across my cell i brood
loneliness biting into my soul
Walking hand in hand with her
heaven on earth i have found it
Walking everywhere time a blur
stand still long enough and you will see
Kurt Barekman
33
What is a juggalo
juggalo a family member
a family underground that is
unique in to many ways to count
paint me up and lets go crazy
Kurt Barekman
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