ALL POEMS OF HOLLY HERON

Poetry Series
Holly Heron
- poems -

2
A Friends Ungracious Sea
My heart it breaks inside,
Because I am just me,
I will not change to others views,
Or give against the tide,
And though the tide does seep,
The life and love from mind,
I am unchanging,
'Cept by the waves of Time.
My friend does find another,
And plots her deep revenge,
Revenge 'cos I'll not give,
To her my life and soul,
She plots thought with another,
And so my hearts not whole.
Holly Heron
3
A letter for a rose
hey....
just wanted to tell you I miss you
and I don't know why I do anymore
it's been so long, an eternity
yet every now and then you creep back into my mind.
it's not love anymore, it stopped being love before it was over
this is something else
I guess it's that we shared a lot
and that we tried to see it through
the arguments never mattered in the end
I look back and smile.
and I forgave you a long time ago for what you did
that you almost pushed me over the edge
that you ruined my life back then.
have you forgiven me yet?
I hope so.
I like to think you're an adult now not like way back then
and that's the problem we were to young
we rushed it all and lost something in the process.
and I know you'll probably never read this letter
and I'm not sure if it's meant to be read
not like the love letters we used to send
or the one that got lost in the post....
I was so worried it would arrive after we split
maybe it will finally get there a few years from now
if you're still there.
you'll never see this
and I don't really mind
I just wanted to say I missed you
whatever it is that I miss...
and if you see it I hope you smile
nod your head
and shake it
and maybe dropp me line....
maybe....
just maybe......
Holly Heron
4
A Lover's Death
This breath is stuck within my breast,
This heart caught between beats,
The tear still runs down my cheek,
Before my Lovers folly.
The knife it twists within his back,
Red falls upon this snow,
Hearts beat does come and breaks my chest,
Because of anothers folly.
My tear does strike the ground and freeze,
A monument to subtle death,
Love's betrayal, pain, anguish,
This tear does lie frozen,
For all to see,
What a Lovers death doth bring to me.
Holly Heron
5
A Vampires Song
Step into my lair
This cool calm night
Step into my lair
And give into my plight.
Step into my arms
Feel loves bite
Step into my arms
And say goodbye to light.
Come my love
Come my saviour
Come my shining light of night
Take me
Step into my dreams
And give me your life
Step into my dreams
I'll save you from strife
Step into my nightmare
Feel hungers knife
Step into my nightmare
Listen to deaths fife.
Come my love
Come my saviour
Come my shining light of night
Sing to me
And hear me call
Come my shining light of night.
Holly Heron
6
All Alone
Dwarfed by a fear,
Standing alone,
Can't breath for open air round me,
Frozen beneath a heaving sun,
Dying in lifes violent song,
And I'm losing myself,
To a heart seizing wind,
Dwarfed by a fear,
A fear noone will come,
That I'll stand alone,
No hope of repreive,
All Alone.
All alone.....
Holly Heron
7
Amoung the roses
I stand amoung the roses,
I wait for your return,
Naivete waits with me,
Though soon I'll cast away,
Naivete whimpers,
Reluctant now to go,
I know now that you've left,
And never will return,
I'm aching for your touch,
I'm yearning for your voice,
i take the rose and hold it close,
A knife comes to my hand,
Silver blade soon darkened,
Soon redeemed with my life,
The rose red dulls,
Before my spilled essence,
I lay amoung the roses,
Awaiting my demise,
I'll stand above you after,
Drop my rose upon your lap,
I'll wait for you,
In the summerlands,
Though that hope is long to come,
Your love won't come to me again,
The summerlands won't change that,
I know now I was used,
Naivete left me,
Let in the pain,
So now amoung the roses,
I take my leave,
My life.
Holly Heron
8
An adaption of Dulce et decorum est.
Like living corpses onwards we trudged,
Coughing and cursing we went,
Longing for the bases walls,
Longing for the end of war,
Men marched in slumbers,
Blood-shod feet,
Blind now to destruction,
Deaf now to the noise of rank despair,
A man called out,
And in the hurried movements of one not long from death,
We fitted on our flimsy masks,
But still I heard a yelling,
And through the mist I saw my friend,
Stumbling, yelling, dying,
Dying like a guttering flame,
Caught in a winds harsh breeze,
Taking my hand he died,
And in my arms he took one last breath,
If in some lucid dream,
You too should walk behind deaths wagon,
And hear it's rasping sound,
See it's mask on ones own friend,
You would not talk of distant glory,
Would not speak of what is right,
You would not tell your children,
That for ones country,
Death is sweet, and pure.
Holly Heron
9
Angel
Angel come find me
I’m lost in the night
Losing my memories
Losing the fight.
Fallen angel
Lend me your kiss
I’m failing without you
In my abyss.
Can’t you see me lying here?
Lost in the solitude
Lost in this life
Can you take my hand
Lead me back to light
I’m losing without you
Losing this fight.
Demons on my other side
Embracing me in bliss
Please come to me my Angel
Conquer this abyss.
Holly Heron
10
Angry
I'm angry,
I'm angry with life,
With love,
And hate,
I'm angry with light,
With home,
And time,
I'm angry.
You took my love,
You ruined it,
I gave you hate,
But it died,
I thought at one point,
You were my light,
You shuttered it soon after,
I offered my arms,
To be your home,
Everlasting,
Oh how wrong I was,
I gave you my time,
Myself,
my love,
Time ill spent in heaven,
In hell,
I'm angry.
I'm angry with you.
Holly Heron
11
Anybody
Can anybody hear me?
Hear me screaming,
Calling,
Dying,
Does anybody care?
I'm sitting at your door,
Weeping out your name,
The blood is seeping from my heart,
These tears they fail to fall,
The shreds that were my soul,
Cannot be sewn up,
This silent death,
So cruel, you do fail to hear,
I'm screaming, I'm dying,
Don't kill me.
Holly Heron
12
Apocalypse
A vision lays beforemine eyes,
And terror strickens me,
A world in flames,
The horsemen rise,
From slumbers deep,
To bring about our end,
Sister fights brother,
Mother just watches,
A joyful glee in her gaze,
War ranges far,
And war ranges near,
Children lie dead in the field of ripe corn,
All others lay sick in their beds,
No matter the cause death doth embrace,
Mother and child alike,
He holds all close to the cold of his bosom,
And sings the lullaby of lives cut short,
His weeping captives rest their heads,
Forget the end was their own cause,
To prove themselves to those before,
All innocence dies,
Before the end has come.
Holly Heron
13
Awed
I'm awed,
Awed by a transparent beauty,
And by a modest touch,
I'm awed,
Awed by a radient presence,
An unassuming grace,
I'm touched,
Touched by the softest glance,
And by a humble maid,
I feel,
Feel for a pretty word,
Slyly hidden in the blasphemys,
I feel for a thought,
Long discarded by my mind,
I'm awed,
By a beauty passing time.
Holly Heron
14
Bathroom Love
The clock is ticking on the bathroom wall
My heart is spilling on the bathroom floor
And I’m crying out your name tonight
I’m lost in disbelief
Did you think I wouldn’t see you?
Did you think I wouldn’t care?
Do you think I can walk on out you?
Was nothing ever there?
And a honeys pouring from my soul
And a love is losing strength.
The clock is ticking on the bathroom wall
My heart is spilling on the bathroom floor
And I’m losing all my hope tonight
I’m lost in this deceit
Was she worth the stolen hours?
Was she worth my screaming pain?
Was she worth my memories?
Now she’s driving me insane.
And crimson love is flowing out
And a lover’s hope is fading now.
The clock is ticking on the bathroom wall
Counting now each breath I take
My heart is spilling on the bathroom floor
Your name etched in my soul.
I’m calling out my hate tonight
I’m lost in this pure love.
Holly Heron
15
Beautiful Mirror
I watched you from a distance,
I loved you in repast,
I wanted you,
I yearned for you,
But then I knew the truth,
I knew that what I loved,
Was nought but hollow dreams,
I knew that what I strived for,
Was nought but shallow heart,
And though I now feel this pain,
The pain of loving a lie,
I have to thank you,
Thankyou for giving me hope,
For giving me belief,
You pulled me through the darkest time,
WIth nothing but deceiving light,
And so now I know,
Your not what I thought,
But you give me hope,
That you are like the moon to the sun,
The beautiful mirror of a beautiful face.
Holly Heron
16
Before
Dance with me,
Take my hand,
Draw me close to you,
Bring me joy,
Before you spurn,
Before the pain begins,
Sing to me,
Give me love,
Before you cut me down,
Before the blood begins to spin,
And before the spirit dies,
My soul drowned in bitter tears,
Walk with me,
Beneath the light,
Lay with me,
Before the fire,
Give yourself,
Before you leave,
Before I die,
For your love,
Will not dwell here,
Inside this broken cage,
So dance with me,
Lay with me,
Take my hand,
And sing to me,
For soon you'll turn away.
Holly Heron
17
Blood can be so pretty
Blood can be so pretty
When it's falling to the floor
Blood can be so beautiful
When your looking for Deaths door
Blood can be so innocent
When the past is but a dream
Blood can be your sweet release
When lifes not what it seems.
And the razor at my wrist
Isn't what you think it is
I'm not looking for attention
Not looking for your love
I'm looking for the end of pain
The end of pointless suffering.
Blood can be so pretty
When it's falling to the floor
Blood can be so beautiful
When your looking for Deaths door
Blood can be so innocent
When the past is but a dream
Blood can be your sweet release
When lifes not what it seems.
And the razor at my wrist
Isn't what you think it is
I'm not crying out for help
It's way to late for that
I'm trying to end a life
Trying to save myself
Bood can be so pretty
When it's falling to the floor....
-------------------------
after note- for anyone who is worried that i'm a cutter, though why you'd worry i've no
idea, i'm not. i don't cut, i write.
yours fully intact: -p
holly xox
Holly Heron
18
Blood red addiction
I'm addicted to the pain that you give me,
The taste of the blood in my mouth,
And I can't say no to your violence,
I can't say no to your love,
I'm addicted to a blood red drug,
Addicted to a powerful thirst,
I yearn for each strike that you deal me,
So I can see the red bloom on my skin,
I yearn for the feel of your hand on my waist,
As you pull me closer to you,
I yearn for the contrast you give me,
The mystery of all that you hold,
Caring, wrapped in the violence,
Love that's wrapped in a rage,
Addicted to the pain that you give me,
Addicted to the violence of love.
Holly Heron
19
Bow Before My Death
I lie beneath the flame this night,
I bow before my death,
He takes my hand,
And holds me close,
Death embraces me,
He says the time has come,
Beginning now meets end,
He says the fires taken me,
And now it's time to walk,
Walk the path of fates sweet song.
I lie beneath the flame this night,
I bow before my death,
The fires stripped me of my sins,
Humility my pride,
Now death guides me through the dark,
And speaks to me kind words,
'The pain has stopped,
It won't come back,
Your senses now are cleansed,
The soul has been washed clean',
He says the end is pleasure.
I lie beneath the flame this night,
I bow before my death,
Death's a man clothed in blue jeans,
A white shirt stained with blood,
Death holds a knife,
Death slits my throat,
Death is the end of my beginning.
I lie beneath the flame this night.
I bow before my death.
Holly Heron
20
Broken Dawn
You used to be my sunshine,
My heat,
You fell on me like dawn,
Your light lifting my shadows,
Your warmth melting my heart,
Then you left,
You betrayed,
You broke my dawn,
My life,
I'm stuck now in the shadows,
These all-consuming shadows,
The sun isn't rising,
This ice isn't melting,
You gave your light to someone else,
And now my dawn is broken.
Holly Heron
21
Can you feel? Do you hear?
Can you feel the music?
Can you feel it's beat?
Do you hear the passion playing?
Do you hear deceit?
You know I love you,
You know I'm yours,
But do you know love lies?
They say that if you love,
Then you won't be tempted,
Tempted by anothers arms,
Tempted by their bed,
They say that if you love,
Then only your lover,
Will fill your mind,
Your eyes,
Your arms,
Your body,
You know I love you,
You know i'm yours,
What you don't know,
Is the hate I feel for these chains,
What you don't know is,
Temptation wins,
Do you hear the music?
Hear it's allure,
Do you feel the beat?
The beating on this cages door,
Do you hear the passion playing?
Passion in anothers bed,
Do you hear deceit?
A gift wrapped in my love.
Holly Heron
22
Can you see me even now?
Can you see me even now?
Do you watch me as i cry?
Are you standing by my side?
Do you know I love you?
I miss you,
And it's too late,
My tears won't change a thing,
All I want is to hold you close,
Just this one last time,
All I want is to smell your smell.
And know it's all ok,
Can you see me even now?
Do you watch me as i cry?
Are you standing by my side?
Do you know I love you?
Holly Heron
23
Can you see the tears you've caused, or are you blinded by your own?
Can you see the tears you've caused
Or are you blinded by your own?
Can you hear my heart torn wails
Or are you deafened by your pointless lies?
I'm bleeding and I'm dying
I'm lost in this maze
This maze you wove around my mind
I thought I loved you
I thought you cared
But thoughts can be misleading
It doesn't matter what they say
Doesn't matter what they claim
Now the words that leave your lips
Hit my heart like heavy stones.
If you want her, have her
If you need it, take it
But your losing me
And I'm losing myself
Though I may be stuck in solitude
You're stuck in shallow mind
I'm bleeding
I'm dying
I loved you
I'm lost
Holly Heron
24
Can't you see
Can't you see my pain,
Etched deep into my soul?
Can't you see my hunger,
Lusting after death?
I'm sick of life,
Of failing,
Sick of pain,
And hurt,
But I can't escape the feelings,
And life has lost it's worth.
Holly Heron
25
Cold
I'm cold.
You drew me out of my shell,
You kept me warm in winter,
Then you saw another,
Brighter, Kinder, Warmer,
You walked away,
And left me in winters wasteland,
You walked away,
Left me to freeze,
You drew me out of my shell,
Left me here to die,
To starve without your love,
To freeze without your presence,
You've left me now in a barren wasteland,
In winters cold embrace,
You left.
Holly Heron
26
Colourblind
Since you left
I've been colourblind
Since you left
I've been numb
If I take the knife
Maybe I'll see
If I break the skin
Maybe colour will come back
A burst of red
A burst of pain
Anything is better
Then this hole you left me in
I just want to feel
Just once before I fall
You opened a hole beneath me
And I'm sinking in the depths.
A burst of red
A burst of pain
i know that I'm alive
Holly Heron
27
Come find me
Written in my bleeding scars,
Are words of love forgotten,
Weeping down my beaten body,
Blood floods me in my hate,
You left me in this darkness,
With nought but a knifes cold kiss,
You left me in this helplessness,
With just your last few words,
Those words are in my bloody story,
Inscribed on whitening skin,
My eyes have lost their colour,
And blackness takes their place,
I can't read what I've written,
But I know,
I know it's a story,
Of pain and of loss,
A story of loves retreat,
You'll see this when you find me,
You'll read my final plea,
I'm asking you in love's last hope,
Brave the darkness,
Come find me.
Holly Heron
28
Darkened World
Living in this darkened world,
I'm losing hope, losing breath,
Can't see it out this window anymore,
Can't see how life used to be,
I'm losing myself in the black of a nightmare,
Screaming your name,
Hearing no reply,
Living in this darkened world,
Losing soul, losing life.
Holly Heron
29
Despair
This despair drowns me,
Like night smothers the light,
Yet still like angels eyes stars promise,
Promise relief in my final measure,
The poison tears my throat,
Like acid eating my flesh,
Hope enevolpes me in its light,
The smell of death creeps to me,
Reminding me of a summer nights breeze,
Enticing with it thoughts,
A night in my lovers arms,
But death now is my lover,
Hope amoung despair,
Despairs only relief is in deaths unjudging care.
Holly Heron
30
Distance
My hand it reaches for your,
But it lies just beyond my grasp,
My heart it beats to your rhythm,
Though the sound has faded away,
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder,
I say it makes it weak,
It makes the body yearn,
Reaching out,
Not making contact,
Listening not hearing your music,
My hand it reaches for yours,
But it's just beyond my grasp,
My heart it beats for yourm
Though your beat fades all the more.
Holly Heron
31
Do You Hear Me?
Do you hear me call you?
Do you hear me scream?
Do you hear the panic,
The pain,
The yearning?
Do you hear my plea?
Don’t go,
I love you,
Don’t go,
I’m yours,
Don’t go and leave me,
Like many before,
Don’t shut me out,
It’s cold out here,
Don’t shut me out,
It’s dark,
I don’t know what’s out there,
I’ve no where to go,
Don’t take my shield,
My armour,
My cover and pillow,
Do you hear me,
Dying,
Out upon your doorstep?
Do you hear me?
Holly Heron
32
Do you see past the scars on my soul?
Do you still love me?
Do you see past the scars on my soul?
Would you still hold me
If I was bloody and beaten?
Would you even care if I cried?
Right now I feel so lonely
So desolate
Depressed
The tears they won't stop coming
The pain it isn't fading
I'm drowning in the salty ice
That is my heart melting
And breaking
And dying
Do you still love me?
Do you see past the scars on my soul?
Would you still hold me
If I was bloody and beaten?
Would you even care if I cried?
Holly Heron
33
Don't Leave Me Alone
Don’t leave me alone,
This dark cold night,
Don’t leave me alone,
In this freezing fright,
Don’t leave me alone,
With only myself,
My sanity a fickle friend,
Who’ll soon leave,
And take my peace,
A peace, which only you restore,
So don’t leave me alone,
In the dark cold night,
Don’t leave me alone,
With this freezing fright,
Don’t leave me alone,
With what I behold in my sight,
A life with out you,
And many a freezing night.
Holly Heron
34
Don't Turn To Me
Don't turn to me,
When all else fails,
And when the music stops,
Don't turn to me,
When the child screams,
And wakes you from your pleasant dreams,
Don't turn to me,
When darkness comes,
And when the light soon flees,
Don't turn to me,
To quell your fears,
And keep you safe at night,
Don't turn to me,
Or all you'll see,
Is something that will never be.
Holly Heron
35
Dream about me
You’ll be dreaming about me tonight
You’ll be lost in my nightmare
My life
You’ll be screaming my name out tonight
You’ll be lost in my terrors
My strife.
And I know you want to love me
And I know you really care
But I’m moving away
Losing my grip
I’m calling your name
In a voice that’s not dead
You’re holding my hand
And I’m pulling you down
You’re blind
You’re losing your way.
You’ll be dreaming about me tonight
You’ll be lost in my nightmare
My life
You’ll be screaming my name out tonight
You’ll be lost in my terrors
My strife.
And you know I want to let you go
You know I want to breathe
But I’m fading too quickly
Losing control
I’m calling in vain
When all else is lost
You’re trying to help me
I’m trying to die
But you’re too blind
Can’t find my way.
You’ll be dreaming about me tonight
You’ll be lost in your memories
This strife
You’ll be screaming my name out tonight
You’ll be lost in the horrors
This life.
Holly Heron
36
fade away
Leave me to lie here
Leave me to die
I want to fade away
I want to stop
You've hurt me to much
And I can't take this anymore
So leave me here
Where no one will find me
Where I can waste away
Simply cease to be
The cuts you've given are to deep
And the blood it won't stop flowing
Leave me to lie here
Leave me to die
I want to fade away
I want to stop
Holly Heron
37
Fly Emirates
I saw you cross the aisle
Your head resting on her shoulder
We shared a glance did you feel it?
I want you here can you guess it?
Trapped here in this failing heart
High above the oceans
Do you remember me?
Or was it too long ago
Do you remember a kiss?
A touch?
A love?
Trapped on this flight
Trapped across an aisle
Trapped in memories of a distant past.
Holly Heron
38
For the broken heart of her
You left me floating in eternity,
Clinging to lost promises,
The more I cling the more I lose,
Of your warmth and love,
Till all I hold are lies,
That stain my hands the black of loss.
The truths from your mouth slowly die,
Decaying in this heart you stole,
This heart you shattered.
I called to you,
But too far you had strayed,
I reached for your hand,
But already they were full,
Full of brighter gems, others,
Picking gloatingly your next love,
Yet no jewels adorn my body,
For all love has fled me.
And how I long for even the pain,
That is you breaking me,
If it will mean just one more word,
One more touch,
One more kiss.
Holly Heron
39
Forsaken me.
I lay here on this bed of grass,
And feel my pain break through,
A rain pelts down,
This acid rain that burns,
Distracting me from pain deep down,
These emotions overwhelm,
Lonliness,
But crowded,
Mute,
But screaming,
Listening,
But death,
I lay here forsaken by all,
But still my life beats on.
Holly Heron
40
Give Me Back My Soul
Give me back my soul,
To another now I heed,
He calls to me so gently,
While in my ears you scream,
Your clutching at my spirit,
Your drinking in my life,
He sits out of my vision,
At the edges of my eyes,
Your standing right in front of me,
Wish now I was blind,
Stop taking up my time,
Stop giving me your lies,
Give me back my soul,
I've another now I love,
Give me back my soul,
To another now I roam.
Holly Heron
41
Goodbye
Hello my love,
It's time to go,
I know you want to come,
And stay with me,
Share my bed,
And share my kiss,
Share this life with me,
But you can't, you belong,
Belong with him,
Belong here,
So goodbye my love,
I'll never forget.
And I'm walking away,
Trying not to look back,
Hearing you call out my name,
But, I've been selfish already,
And greeds getting old,
I'm walking away,
Can't believe I'm leaving,
Leaving you behind.
Hello my love,
We really should go,
Cos I know you want to come,
You want to keep hold of me,
Be with me,
Lay with me,
And laugh at our own expense,
But you belong here,
Belong with him,
So goodbye my love,
And please, never forget.
And I'm running away,
Too scared to stop,
Hearing your call start to fade,
Letting go of my need,
Letting go of my greed,
I'm running away,
And I just can't believe,
I'm finally leaving you here.
Hello my love,
It's time that i left,
Time that I said my goodbyes,
And I know you want to come,
But you'll get it someday,
Get that you belong in his arms,
Someday you'll understand,
That you couldn't leave it all behind,
To stay in my arms,
42
To stay in my love,
So goodbye my love,
Just never forget,
But...it'll be easier if you do,
Goodbye my love,
I've gotta go soon,
But maybe one more night won't hurt,
Goodbye my love.
Holly Heron
43
Goodbye my Fallen Angel, Goodbye my Tiger. I Love You my Magpie
What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see the heartbroken girl you left so long ago?
Do you see the women i've become,
That I got over you so long ago?
And do you think this poem is about you?
That I still think about you as I did?
Do you still think I remember you as my fallen angel,
Who came to pull me through?
Do you still think I see you as my tiger,
Who I used to hide behind?
Do you still think I'm easy to please?
Do you still think of me late at night?
And do you think this poem's about you?
Well guess what,
It is.
I laugh at you both that you don't see who I am,
I feel sorry you can't grow up,
Because my fallen angel flew away,
And let me see past the shadows of his wings,
And my Tiger took to the jungle,
So I could play with my Magpie,
What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see the heartbroken girl i used to be?
Or do you see the woman I've become?
Can you see that I don't need you any more?
That I haven't for along time?
Now i'm going to go to my Magpie,
Who flies above to keep me safe,
I'm going to be with my Magpie,
As he stole my ring, he stole my heart.
Holly Heron
44
Guess you never thought
I can't stop seeing your screaming face?
Or hearing your merciless moans,
I can't stop feeling the blood on my hands,
Can't stop feeling betrayal.
And I guess you never thought I'd see you,
Guess you never thought I'd care,
But I did see,
And it's killing me.
I can't stop seeing your mouth on her skin,
Or hearing you cry out her name,
I can't stop feeling the knife in my body,
Can't stop feeling this hate.
And I guess you never thought I'd see you,
Guess you never thought I'd care,
But I do care,
And it's killed me.
I can't stop seeing you saying goodbye,
Or hearing the end of your lies,
I can't stop feeling all the love die,
Can't bring myself from this end.
Holly Heron
45
Hallowed
Fill the void,
The hole,
The hole as deep as an ocean,
As black as the darkest night,
As painful as the bed,
The bed of needles I must lie upon,
But this my respite,
My sanctuary,
The place where non invade,
To fill this sacred place,
Would be my blasphemy,
My sin,
But to stay in this eternal prison,
To feel this pain,
And yet still be myself,
Or let others in,
Let others in this hallowed place,
The pain would leave,
But I myself may vanish.
Holly Heron
46
Hell Hath No Furie
A beauty running down the hall,
Tears streaming from her cheeks,
On show and seen by one and all,
The pain from pure deceit.
And hurt by visions of her lover,
In her sisters arm,
Underneath her warming cover,
Stealing what was hers.
His dark hair tousled all around,
Eyes wide in disbelief,
His voice it's sound was icy cool,
As he spoke 'be gone from me.'
She enters her room in the dead of night,
To fetch her woolen cloak,
And holding a candle burning bright,
To light her way to death.
Running up a winding staircase,
Stone cold beneath her swift young feet,
Wind whipping round her tearful face,
Up the tower she awaits release.
Up to the window of escape,
Stars promising like angels' eyes,
Wind blowing back her cape,
Encouraging her to take her leap.
And away from her lover does she spring,
Like a viking promised valkyrie,
Her voice through her lovers mind does sing,
'hell hath no furie like women scorned.'
Seeing things no longer here,
Hearing sounds no longer heard,
Walking places no longer there,
And returning her spirit roams these halls.
Holly Heron
47
Hiding Behind A Smile
Hiding behind a smile,
I'm watching the world fly by,
I'm covering my pain,
Hiding behind a smile,
A shadow of a former life,
I'm lost in this grief,
I'm lost in your loss,
You took my soul,
As I found you,
Pain fills whats left behind,
Hiding behind a smile,
I can't find myself,
Hiding behind a smile,
I'm losing myself.
Holly Heron
48
Hold Me
Hold me now,
Hold me fast,
Keep me anchored,
To the ground,
Keep your arms around me,
Please don't let me go,
Hold me now,
Hold me fast,
Keep me close.
Holly Heron
49
Hope
I've heard hopes enough,
Enough to keep you alive,
They say that hopes a joyous feeling,
Hope that they''ll come back,
Hope they'll see their mistake,
But hope hurts more than the the deepest betrayal,
It keeps you awake at night,
With dreams that tomorow,
Well, that tomorrow everything will go back,
Back to how it was,
Back to love and happiness,
And then in the morning when nothings changed,
When your all alone,
Wondering why,
Then you know the truth of hope,
That hope gives you sleepless nights,
The pain thats throbbing in your chest,
The knowledge that for all your want,
It will never be the same,
And that hope is the biggest betrayal.
Holly Heron
50
hope (edited)
I've heard hopes enough to keep you alive,
To pull you from the darkness,
I've heard it's enough to keep you sane,
To keep you in this life,
They say that it's a joyous feeling,
But it's not,
Hopes the knife plunged in your back,
Pushing you to the edge,
Hopes the greatest poison in any dead mans chest,
Hope that they'll come back,
Hope they'll see the light,
But hope hurts more then the deepest betrayal,
It keeps you up at night,
With dreams that tomorrow,
Well, tomorrow everything will go back,
Back to how it was,
Back to love and happiness,
And then in the morning when nothings changed,
When your all alone,
Wondering why,
Then you know the truth,
An it's many sleepless nights,
It's hope when you think you see the light,
At the end of that infinite tunnel,
That it's all going to end just like that,
And it's hope thats putting the knife to your throat,
And is leaving you there to bleed dry,
And it's hope in the morning after the loss,
That causes the pain throbbing in your chest,
And hope is the knowledge that for all your want,
It will never be the same,
And hope is the biggest betrayal,
The greatest poison in a dead mans treasure chest.
Holly Heron
51
I Can Not
I can not take your love,
It overwhelms my soul,
I can not take your heart,
It is to heavy for my arms,
I can not feel it back,
I know now I am empty,
I'm sorry I'm too base,
I swear I love you,
But my heart's to hollow,
For me to truly care.
Holly Heron
52
I don't know
I don't know what to say,
I don't know what you want,
I want to fall into the unkown,
And stop,
Just stop,
I don't know how to live,
And I lost the will too long ago,
I want it all to end,
No pain,
No hurt,
But I don't know what you expect,
Couldn't give it to you even if I did,
I want the end to take me,
To cease,
No beat,
I don't know what to say,
I don't know what you want,
But I, I want to fall into the unknown,
And stop,
Just stop.
Holly Heron
53
I don't know what to do
You're tearing me in two
Don't know which way to look
I'm tempted and I'm needed
I don't know where to be
I'm looking in your eyes
But I'm thinking of another
And when I'm in his arms
You're not far from my mind
And I don't know where to go
Don't know who to choose
I'm tempted
But you need me
I don't know what to do.
Holly Heron
54
I Finally See The Light
I finally see the light,
Shame it's to late,
I'm to far gone,
Can't stop now,
My love is leaving me for dead,
I finally see the light,
Finally see how much I cared,
But it's to late now,
He's left,
Won't come back,
I finally see the light,
But only to see my death,
I finally see the light,
It shines upon betrayal.
Holly Heron
55
I love you
I can feel your blood as it rises to your cheeks,
I can hear your end coming with each breath you take,
And I know I have to let you go,
But I wish I didn't have to,
You know I'm going to miss you,
And I'll follow you soon after,
So I'll take you in my arms.
Just this one last time,
I want to remember each line of your face,
That twinkle in your eye,
Want to see your lips parting for my kiss,
And the feel of your hand in mine,
I just want to remember the sound of your voice,
Your laughter in the dark,
I know I have to let you go,
But in my heart I know I can't.
Your leaving me,
I love you,
And I can feel your blood,
It's slipping through my fingers,
I can hear your end coming,
With every laboured breath you take,
And I know I have to let you go,
And I know it's never going to happen,
So, please, wait for me,
I'll be following you soon,
Don't leave me in the darkness,
Don't leave me all alone.
I love you...
Holly Heron
56
I love you from the inside out
I love you from the inside out,
And from your light to dark,
I love you from the inside out,
As your fire lights this spark,
I love you from the inside out,
And from this time till end,
I love you from the inside out,
As my heart does mend,
I love you from the inside out,
And that's all I can say,
I love you from the inside out,
That love grows stronger every day.
Holly Heron
57
I said But Now I'm Sorry
I said your heart was made of ice,
I said it was too cold,
I said your fire had long burnt out,
And may have never burned,
I said your eyes as black as coal,
Could never hold a humans soul,
I said your words were twisted,
And never would serve good,
I said these things and didn’t mean,
To make you do what you did,
I said these things not knowing,
The noose that stroked you neck,
I said these things not seeing,
You step from your safe chair,
I shouldn’t have made you go so far,
And said the things I did,
I said but now I’m sorry,
And wish they’d went unsaid.
Holly Heron
58
I See A Sky Painted Black
I see a sky painted black
I see a home without love
I see a heart frozen from cold
I see a world up in flames
The world is collapsing about me
And doom it rises to take
It takes the lives of the evil
And rapes the souls of the pure
I see a sky painted black
A river of flame at it's core
I see a home without love
Demons of hate at its door
I see a heart frozen from cold
Now and so long forlorn
I see a world up in flames
And noone is left to it mourn
Holly Heron
59
I Sit Beneath This Tree
I sit beneath this tree,
Bared beneath the moon,
I'm touched by it's coolness,
I'm loved by it's light,
I sit beneath the tree,
The world can see my scars,
The hollow where my heart layed,
And where my soul escaped,
Then in my hand the dagger,
In your hands my heart,
As it quickly slows,
The necklace round my throat,
Slowly drips down my chest,
I sit beneath this tree,
As you hold onto my hand,
My soul it tries to fly,
With wongs broken from guilt,
I sit upon the earth,
As you hold my hands and plea,
Plea for my forgiveness,
Before the darkness takes control,
Plea for my love,
Before I journey to my grave,
I sit beneath this tree,
As you pain my death,
With your guilt and no forgiveness,
I sit beneath this tree,
As my soul it walks away,
Towards loved gates of Hell.
Holly Heron
60
I Turn Around and Kiss You
I feel your arms around me,
My back leans now upon you,
Your breathing makes my body sway,
Your laughter rings right through me,
You say some words I do not hear,
So deeply I am thinking,
Of how lucky I must be,
To have you as my own,
And just to show I have you,
To let you know I care,
I turn around and kiss you,
Yes, how lucky I surely am.
Holly Heron
61
I Wait For A Time
I wait for a time,
When thoughts never matter,
Where life's as insignificant,
As the smallest grain of sand,
Where it can be snuffed out,
And nobody would notice,
Nobody would care,
For sometimes thoughts run through my mind,
Unbidden,
Is this life real?
Or are we simply a dream?
The toys of some cosmic child,
Who enjoys pain,
Who enjoys suffering,
And hopelessness?
I wait for a time,
When thoughts never matter.
Holly Heron
62
I wish
I wish I was all you needed,
I wish I was all you loved,
I wish I could make that smile light your face,
Wish I coulld be your one,
But I can't,
And I'm not,
I'll never be her,
Never be what you desire,
Never have her sparkling eyes,
Her glowing skin,
Her quiet laugh,
Never be so beautiful,
And I long to hear my name on your lips,
A lovers caress in the dark,
Long to feel your passionate kiss,
To hear sweet whispers to me,
But I'm never going to have it,
And there's no point in wishing,
I'll never be her,
I'll never have you,
You broke my heart,
But I never had yours.
Holly Heron
63
Ice Queen
I thought I had you hand
That you were mine to keep
Did I mean so little
That she could mean so much
Did I seem so harsh
That her touch could cool your soul
Did I mean anything
Or was I your lie
Was I your trophy?
Your ice queen to melt,
Glittering on the horizon
Was I so cold
You needed her heat
Because I’d burn you in my passion
If you gave me one more chance
I’d love you if I could
If you took my hand again.
Holly Heron
64
If by Chance
If by chance you see me,
In my deep respite,
If by chance you see me,
In sacred light,
If by chance you see me,
And listen to my plight,
If by chance you see me,
And are moved by the sight,
If by chance you see me,
And your heart binds tight,
If by chance you see me,
In a pool of night,
If by chance you see me,
Then help my soul take flight.
Holly Heron
65
If I
If I left would you notice?
If I cried would you care?
Am I just a possession?
Do you find me real?
If I told you I hate you,
Would you breakdown in tears?
If I told of my love,
Would you declare yours?
If I left would you notice?
If I cried would you care?
Holly Heron
66
Is that so much to ask?
Step into my home,
Give me your love,
Is that so much to ask?
Put your arms around me,
Whisper my good dreams,
Don't ask why,
Please do it,
I need the feel of your love,
A protectors arms,
The feel of security,
Beyond my own grasp,
Step into my home,
Sit by my fire,
Accept what I give,
But know I must take,
Step into my home,
Give me your love,
Is that really to much to ask?
Holly Heron
67
I've Spent To Long
I've spent to long not caring,
I've spent to long away,
And now you want me back,
To live just like before,
You want to take my hand again,
You want my love to stay,
But I've spent to long not caring,
And my love it flew away.
I've spent to long in solitude,
I've spent to long in hope,
And now you want me in your arms,
To stay and hold you close,
You want to take my love again,
Feel despair take it's place,
But I've spent to long in solitude,
And you've lost this blood soaked race.
I've spent to long not caring,
Spent to long away,
Spent to long denying,
I've spent to long awake,
And now you want my slumber,
You want a love to stay,
But I've spent to long not caring,
And love? It fades away.
Holly Heron
68
Killing My Heart
Did you know I’d miss you like this?
That I can’t think of you without tears?
And my heart is crying out for your love
My skin aching for your touch
And I can’t stop crying without you
These tears proof that it’s real
And this feeling, god, this feeling
I can’t describe
This strain in my chest
Killing my heart
Holly Heron
69
Know Me
Stop and listen,
Listen to me call your name,
Listen to my heart beating,
Beating a tune just for you,
Listen to my breath,
Screaming through my chest,
Listen closely,
Hear my want,
My longing,
Hear my love,
Listen to me,
Hear me,
Know me.
Holly Heron
70
Leaden Tears
These tears are leaden weights,
They tear apart this face,
Drowning out my screams,
Choking on lost words,
My heart can't take the pressure,
my eyes can't take the pain,
These weighted tears fall freely,
My soul, my spirit too,
These tears they kill me slowly,
I'm bleeding from their wounds
Holly Heron
71
Leave Me
Leave me here,
I don't want to go,
I don't want to move on,
I'm happy sitting in this past,
I don't have to see you with another,
Don't have to see,
See the love you share,
But not with me,
Not anymore,
So leave me sitting in the past,
Like you left me sitting alone,
Waiting,
Waiting for you,
Your touch,
Your smile,
Your love,
Leave me.
Holly Heron
72
Leave Me Lying
Leave me lying in despair,
Crying for your love,
Leave me blind in this your dark,
Leave me starved of hope,
And I long ago gave up on you,
Gave up on light and home,
Gave up on being in your arms,
Of feeling your warmth next to me,
Leave me lying in damp grief,
A pool of blood so sweet,
Leave me with the knife in my hand,
The dull ache throbbing in my chest,
A hole, a heart escaped,
And I know you'll never love me,
And you'll never truly care,
So please, leave me lying,
Leave me lying in my death,
Just leave me,
Because you'll never be mine.
Holly Heron
73
Leaving
I'm leaving,
Leaving you behind,
I've had enough,
Had enough of the pain you've put me through,
Your violent love bruising my soul,
I can't take the way,
The way you want to walk,
The way your trying to pull me down,
So I'm leaving,
I'm hoping,
Hoping you'll be happy without me by your side,
But I'm leaving and I'm sorry,
Sorry it didn't work out,
But i don't regret it,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm leaving,
I'm gone.
Holly Heron
74
Lecturer
The lecturer drones on
Not noticing his sleeping students
And those dead with open eyes
A font of knowledge
So deceptively portrayed
Those gems of thought
Hidden in the gryme
Of an uncreative mind
Spouting analogies
To prove his own self worth
Losing students
Losing youth
Stealing vitality
From mind numbed captives
Sitting in a hall of knowledge
His words don't touch me.
He hides his knowledge well.
Holly Heron
75
Let Me
Your ripping me apart,
I can't walk,
You keep taking,
You keep eating away,
Soaking up my happiness,
Stealing now my soul,
Why can't you leave me?
Let me die in peace,
Let me scream alone,
Let me bleed,
Let me cry,
You ripped me apart,
So now leave me,
You've already killed me,
So let me die alone.
Holly Heron
76
Lie By My Side
Lie by my side,
And hold me tight,
Don't let me go,
For another night,
Keep me safe,
From rages jelousy,
Out of dangers way,
The raking fingers,
The frightening eyes,
So hold me tight,
And be my one,
My only one,
My guardian,
And I'll be yours,
And only yours,
To hold each night,
Just don't let go,
Just hold me tight.
Holly Heron
77
Life
Whisper please into my body.
So I may learn the words.
Beat the rythm of life,
So my heart may play the tune,
Show me the steps of life,
So my feet know the path to walk,
Let me see the colours,
So I may learn to see.
Whisper life into my body,
So I may come into this world.
Holly Heron
78
Lightning
I see my love dancing,
Dancing in the lightning,
Her feet pounding,
To the seductive beat,
Beat of the mothers heart,
Thunder ringing through my heart,
I see me love,
In lightnings grace,
I see my love,
In a storm,
Of passion, Of want,
I see her dancing.
Holly Heron
79
Locks
When I was young I gave you,
The keys to a young heart,
But now that I am older,
I realise the folly of my ways,
You're never there when I need you,
You treat me like a slave,
But now you've really gone too far,
And forced my locks to change.
Holly Heron
80
Look Into My Eyes
Look into my eyes
I'll show you the truth
I'm over you
There's no turning back
You lost me in your selfishness.
I saw you waiting in the Garden
Waiting in betrayal
I saw the name you
And where from Grace you fell..
I can see the bruises on your skin
Harsh passion spent in secrecy
I can hear the pleasure on your lips
A gift from those who sacrifice
Sacrifice anothers heart.
So, look into my eyes.
I'll give you a truth.
Look into my eyes.
I'll take a soul from you.
Look into my eyes.
They saw you in the dark.
A love is lost.
And I'm to good for you.
Holly Heron
81
Looking at the ashes.
Looking at the ashes of a life thats been and passed,
A hundred years a\in standing,
But a hundred years are gone,
Seeing the charred memories,
Never bought to life,
Seeing a smile wither, as that smile dies,
And I'm looking in the sad eyes,
Without a soul in sight,
Looking for a glimpse of hope,
But it's shattered by Deaths breath,
His smoke,
A hundred years in being,
A hundred grains of salt,
All falling through the hour glass,
All bringing thirst to fore,
And a hundred years in this world,
But those hundred years have past,
Looking at charred memories,
Never safe in light.
Holly Heron
82
Looking for your kiss
Looking for your kiss,
Not finding it for now,
Searching for your lips,
Still listening to your words,
Your telling me you want me,
You speak of what could be,
But I'm looking for your kiss,
To tell you how I feel,
To put in my passion and joy,
You feel for as I feel for you,
So I'm looking for your kiss,
Searching for your lips,
Looking forward to somethng new,
Searching for your lips,
Listening to your words,
I'm waiting for your kiss.
Holly Heron
83
Looking, searching.
Looking for a goddess,
Looking for a line,
Searching for an answer,
Searching for whats mine,
Hoping that I'll find it,
Hoping that I'll see,
Seeing what i've wanted,
Seeing it will never be,
Wonder if I'll ever find it,
Wonder if it's even real,
Meaning to find a reason,
Meaning to make my seal,
I'm looking for a goddess,
I'm looking for a line,
Always searching for the answer,
I'm searching for whats mine.
Holly Heron
84
'Love'
'Love' this word people let fly easily,
From lips of those who'll never know,
What is it? Love,
A thing so close,
And yet it has no being,
Is it the flight of birds in early morn?
A song so sweet,
That like the finest silver,
Only you should it adorn?
Is it the beating of my heart,
When I sight your face,
So beautiful and yet it still can not capture,
Your soul's loving grace?
Ah, the word appears again,
Loving, lovely,
Love.
Words thrown so easily,
That how could any weight be placed upon a single word?
What I feel for you is more than such a word describes,
In your presence I am awed,
I am not worthy of the touch,
You place on my brow,
When your near I feel complete,
As though my soul was split,
And you my other half,
I feel desolate with you out of my sight.
Love is such a weak word,
But in it I convey all my feelings,
Of affection, all I feel,
How can such a word carry all that weight?
Maybe Love is not as weak as once I believe,
If it can hold such weighty feelings,
As those that crush my heart inside,
Yes, this word that flies so easily from mouths that never felt,
Love is all I give to you.
Holly Heron
85
Love Me
Love me,
Why is that so hard?
Love me,
Is that too much to ask?
Love me,
Please,
It's all I want,
Love me,
Thats all there is to it,
Or don't I deserve your love?
Don't I deserve to be loved?
Holly Heron
86
Love me non the less
I'd lost all hope of coming back
I'd lost all hope of love
I'd lost all hope of being me
Of being what you see
But I took a walk one sorry night
And hope knocked on my door
I heard an angel calling
And I saw a spirits plea
Now won't you take me back?
Can we pretend I never left?
Cos I'm sorry I walked out on you
Can you love me non the less?
And I'd lost all hope of seeing you
Of hearing you say my name
Now I'm hoping in my heart of hearts
That you can love me again
Now won't you take me back?
Can we pretend I never left?
Cos I'm sorry I walked out on you
Can you love me non the less?
And I miss your voice of night-time
And I miss your smiles warmth
Can't you see I love you?
That I'm sorry
That I'm yours
And my hope? I won't let it die
Like I did so long ago
Cos I know I'll always love you
Yes, I'm sure I'll always love you
Now won't you take me back?
Please, won't you take me back?
And we'll pretend I never left
I'm sorry I walked out on you
But can you love me non the less?
Holly Heron
87
Lover
Lover grasp a heart so cold,
And melt away despair,
Lover hold me close to you,
Let me share your warmth,
Lover please turn not away,
So I may keep this hope,
Lover let me not go,
Drown me in your fire.
Holly Heron
88
Maya
I stand behind the veils of Maya
Hidden by deceptive thought
Dressed in clothes of your creation
A soul as borrowed
As the love you throw me
I am as you want me
The vapid mind, inside,
An illustrious body
This is how you paint me
This is how you perceive me
I stand behind these veils of Maya
You would not have me any other way
I am the deception
You couldn't help but build
Will you step beyond these veils
Beyond the Illusion
You have placed me in
Beyond your veils of Maya
Holly Heron
89
Memento Mori
Kiss me while we have the chance
Love me in denial
Hold me while it's still ok
And while life, death can't defile.
For every single heart beat
And every single breathe
For every single moment
Brings us one step closer to Death.
So kiss me while we have a chance
We'll have life in glory
Just love me in life's denial
I promise you won't be sorry
Hold me while it's all ok
We'll have this desperate story
And we'll live before Death's coming
For always remember Memento Mori.
Holly Heron
90
Mine Alone
*inspired when I was doing slavery in class
-------
These chains that bind my body,
Shall not bind my mind,
The skin taken from my flesh,
Shall not blind my sight,
These tears they shall not spill,
Till wrongs and rights are justed,
The dirt upon the my knees,
Is not my souls one colour,
My body you may own,
My mind is mine alone,
My soul it nests in His hands,
My life is mine alone.
Holly Heron
91
My Fallen Angel
My fallen angel,
My blessing,
Your tragedy,
On your way to heaven,
I grabbed your wings,
And pulled you to me,
Seeped your warmth,
And left you cold,
My fallen angel,
Guide of beauty,
Fallen angel I'm sorry,
Your tragedies my blessing,
I can't let you go,
Heavens too far,
Fallen angel,
Stay where you fell.
Stay with me.
Holly Heron
92
My Goddess, My Own
Her hair the black, of the ravens wing,
And petals of flowers long dead,
Become her lips so cruel,
To stare into my lady's eyes,
To catch a single glimpse,
Is to die and be reborn,
For she my lady fair
My Lover
My Goddess
My Own.
Is more than just a figurehead,
She is the ship the ocean,
And the wind that fills the sails,
Her touch, is as the sunset,
The beauty of that sky,
The sizzle as fire meets earth,
She invokes that awe.
Her voice it holds the souls,
Of those who died in vain,
She keeps them in her necklace,
Worn just above a heart of flame,
Captured in a cage of ice,
Melting but still cold,
Colder than this oblivion.
Her oblivion I long for,
Deep down inside my core.
She is my Goddess and my lover,
Upon her pedastal she lays,
That high above the abyss lingers,
Spun in turquoise, ruby, gold.
And though the sun this place deprived,
Her own glow lights this vision,
And all do kneel before her,
My Lover.
My Goddess.
My Own.
Holly Heron
93
My Lord
My lord he stands before me,
Proud in sky clad cloth,
His skin the gold of summers water,
Hair dark as midnights breeze,
He reaches for my hand,
I take it firm in mine,
Closer I walk,
Bathing in warmth,
The warmth of his love,
I reach to kiss his perfect lips,
Kind and rich they beckon,
In the moment of that kiss,
That simple act impure,
In that moment,
Darkness rises,
Despair beyond my grasp,
My lord, My love,
Has changed before me,
Darker, Crueler, Harder,
His skin its lost its glow,
White now in winters embrace,
His hairs turned darker still,
In midnights dark domain,
But still his lips beckon,
Curled so cruel I flinch,
He pulls me close to him,
I can't escape,
Can't get away,
But,
I don't want to,
This cruel lord before me,
Captures me in grace,
I lust to make him warm,
And be frozen by his longing,
Lord, Lover, Captor,
I love every facet,
Yearning for his frozen embrace,
My lord,
My love,
My end.
Holly Heron
94
Never will
Looking for a reason,
Why I just don't seem to care,
But I don't know if I'll see it,
I doubt it's even there,
And I'm trying to see if it's real,
If it's always been this fake,
'Cos I just can't love you anymore,
Just can't live this lie,
And it's ending as it started,
It's barely even been,
And I'm sorry I can't do it,
Sorry I can't pretend,
But I just don't care,
This love has gone,
I can't make a lie of life,
So I'm looking for the reason,
Why a love can swiftly die,
But I don't know if I'll find it,
I'm almost sure I'll never find it.
No, I know I'll never will.
Holly Heron
95
New Car Smell
Back when the world had that new car smell,
And their were no stains on it's cover,
Me and you, we sat in the back seat,
Watching time whizz by,
Back when the world had that new car smell,
Anhd the key, it fit the ignition,
We never thought where we were going,
Seeing, doing, wanting,
Only about the comfort of the ride.
Back when the world was exciting and real,
The hood of the roof taken down,
Me and you, we sat in the front seat,
We thought we controlled the ride,
Back when the world was exciting and real,
And the gas tank always ran low,
We left our worries way behind,
And drove that empty road.
But now our world is old and done,
And the car carries so many people,
The noise in the backs now annoying,
And bugs hit our windscreen non stop,
Now our world is old and done,
And the cars getting into disrepair,
The stereos gone silent,
And our seat, there now thread bare.
Yeah, now our world is old and done,
We've stopped at theside of the road,
We've ended in the ditch.
Holly Heron
96
Nothing
To stumble down the dark abyss,
Clawing at nothing,
Seeing nothing,
Being nothing, but,
The smallest mote of dust,
Gliding down,
With no way back up,
Knowing that there is no bottom,
Knowing that this feeling,
This feeling of emptiness,
Will continue,
Knowing that you’re nothing,
But a hollow shell,
Who will forever,
Stumble down the dark abyss,
Of nothing.
Holly Heron
97
Now I'll never have my chance
You know he's stopped eating,
Drinking, stopped sleeping?
He's even stopped laughing,
Stopped smiling,
Haven't heard him crack a joke,
Since you turned your back,
He doesn't seem to see things,
Doesn't want to know,
You left him and you broke him,
Now I'll never have my chance,
He's stopped really living,
Since you walked out the door,
You took his heart in your vanity box,
He doesn't hear me anymore,
Doesn't shirk my touch,
I've tried to call him back to life,
But you took his soul,
Snuck it out the door,
In your shirts front pocket,
You left him and you broke him,
Now I'll never have a chance,
You know he's stopped laughing,
Since you walked out on him?
You know he's stopped smiling,
Since you broke him down?
You know since you've gone,
I'll never have my chance?
You know he just stopped when you left?
Holly Heron
98
Now the Lady's.....
Now the Lady's large and full,
She shines upon three nights sweet lull,
I ask the Mother overhead,
To bless all words that shall be said,
The actions that will be done,
The lovers' quarrel surely come,
Bless the being that is me,
As I will it, so mote it be.
Holly Heron
99
Offer Yourself
If you offered me your heart,
I'd take it.
But until you do I'll stick with him,
A safe haven in this world,
He gives me warmth,
Security,
His unconditional love.
And while my heart,
It beats for you,
I won't give in till you can see.
Offer of yourself first.
And then I'll give you me.
Holly Heron
100
On an angels wing
for my grandmother....
I'm sorry,
Sorry I couldn't be there,
As you left on an angels wing,
Sorry I didn't call you more,
Sorry I didn't let you know how much I loved,
I'm sorry I couldn't be there,
As the angel took you home,
But I lit my candle when i knew,
And I'm hoping you saw it,
Saw it as you left this earth,
Hope it let you see my love,
That you left this world knowing,
Knowing I cared,
I hope that in your angels arms you knew,
Knew that we'll all miss you,
That we all loved you
That we'll all remember you,
And I know that on that angels wing,
You'll find peace and life anew,
And in the summerland,
You'll breathe easy,
You'll walk steadily,
And on that angels wing,
I hope you saw my candle in the night.
Holly Heron
101
Once I Knew
Once I knew,
Knew you loved me,
Knew I was yours,
Knew that I belonged,
But now?
I don't understand what happened,
Don't understand what went wrong,
I don't quite know how to say it,
But I don't really love you anymore,
I know you must think that I'm joking,
That I don't understand what it means,
But I don't really care for your temper,
Don't really care for your needs,
I always thought that we'd be,
Always thought you'd be there,
BUt I don't care...
I can't care,
I just don't know anymore.
Holly Heron
102
One last thing before I go
One last thing before I go
A few last lines to leave
I'm not sure what to put in them
Or if they'll make a difference
But I have to say them
Have to let you know
If I could change a single moment
Just one single thing
I'd take back that kiss
That laugh
That hug
That I would never of left you
But you turnt your back from my betrayal
And I lost you in the darkness
I'll never stop loving you
It's not like I didn't try
But I do Love you
I can't help it
Just thought you'd want to know
One last thing before I go
A few last lines to leave...
Holly Heron
103
Perfect Love
You had your chance
Now just let go
I'm not interested in love
The pretty words you say
I'm interested in reality
And that, it lays with him.
Your perfect mouth won't feed me
Your perfect touch won't shelter
Your perfect eyes won't quench my thirst
Your perfect love be damned.
He can keep me warm at night
Keep my fears at bay
He can make me smile
When all else fades away
He can keep the knife in sight
And stave away the pain.
Your perfect mouth won't keep me whole
Your perfect touch won't help me live
Your perfect eyes won't comfort me
Your perfect love is hell.
Holly Heron
104
Perverted Perfection
I'm looking at you,
Looking for the beauty,
That people say they see,
I can't see it,
All I see is perverted perfection,
The face of satans mistress,
All I see is ugly glee,
In the face of one used to power,
I see a figure,
Just as tempting as is told,
But filled to the brim with vendiction,
I'm seeing a woman,
As beautiful as life,
In all its horror,
It's horrid joy,
I see a temptress,
With a twisted beauty,
I'm looking at you,
Trying to see what I used to,
But you left me,
And you took him.
I'm looking at you,
Looking for a beauty,
Twisted by perverted passion.
Holly Heron
105
Poisoned to live
A poison arrow has pierced my heart,
You've taken the arrow,
You've healed the wound,
The poison coures still,
It's seeping through,
It's creeping,
Leaving me,
So slowly,
Your taking it,
Your drinking it in,
Taking my death,
Snatching it away from me,
You steal my fate,
I'd thank you,
But now I've lost my love,
Don't leave me in life.
Holly Heron
106
Promise
Promise me your not going to leave,
Promise me it's all alright,
And I know there's a hundred poems,
Just like this one,
But this, it's special.
It's just for you,
Just a plea for love.
Promise me your not going to leave,
Promise you'll forgive me,
And I know a hundred mouths say these words,
But these are different.
I mean them,
Just a plea for hope.
Promise your not going to leave,
Promise me it's all alright,
Promise you'll forgive me,
Promise...
Holly Heron
107
Remember Me
Remember how I held your hand,
Remember how I kissed it,
Remember how you fell asleep,
Your head upon my shoulder?
I remember,
I remember the warmth of your body,
Pressed tightly against mine,
The press of your lips on my brow,
I remember desire,
In love was it wrapped,
I remember you.
Am i just a face amoung many?
A shadow of your past?
When your brushed by a warm nights breeze,
Remember my whispers to you?
Do you remember the moments of joy?
Do you remember our loss?
Do you remember all that I gave?
Do you even remember my name?
Holly Heron
108
Reprieve.
Sitting here my heart quickens,
Waiting for reprieve,
Reprieve from sorrow,
Repreive from despair,
From lonliness.
I sit here and wait,
For your words of forgivness,
For you words of love,
I await reprieve,
Don't torture me much longer.
Holly Heron
109
Scared
i'm screaming but noone hears,
Your hand's around my throat,
My eyes are shut,
I dont' want to see,
Why are doing this?
Why violate?
i never hurt you,
Never knew you,
Yet you take,
Ignore my screams,
My tears,
Leave me lying,
Cold and bloody,
Leave my spirit dying,
Cowed,
Leave me scared,
Scared of life,
Scared of love,
Dead.
Holly Heron
110
Searching
I wander through life alone,
Searching,
I feel them,
The connection pulling at me,
Calling me,
Searching,
I am incomplete,
Half a person, half a being,
I need them, I'm drawn,
Searching,
They are my other half,
The answer to my lonliness,
That only they can feel,
Searching,
I crave this,
When I see them, I'll know them,
Does he look for me,
Searching,
I'll spend my life searching,
Without ever realising,
When we meet I'll know,
My soul, my heart is always watching,
Searching.
Holly Heron
111
Silence
Silence surrounds me,
Drowns me, suffocate,
Confounds me.
How I long for the sudden shout,
The childs cry, in monrnings light,
A heart spent night.
How I wish for a whispers breeze,
The subtle sound of a lovers sigh,
'O lord, O my'
But all I have is silence,
A hearts breath of silence,
Lonliness,
Cruel Silence.
Holly Heron
112
Sinking
Sinking further into depression,
Can't keep my head above this ocean,
I just can't fight its downwards pull,
Feeling weights tied to my feet,
The more I fight the further I go,
But I just can't fight the current,
Can't float above the surface anymore,
I'm drowning in its darkness,
Continually sinking,
Not far from the bottom now,
Then I'm gone,
Lost to this sea of never ending depression
Holly Heron
113
Sinking into someone else
I'm losing myself in my own deceit,
I'm sinking into someone else,
I can't escape,
I can't get out,
I'm trapped here,
You can never help,
The more you reach,
The more I fade,
I'm losing myself in someone else,
I'm killing myself,
Been replaced by a fake,
You keep reaching,
You keep trying,
It doesn't matter if I want to,
Want to find myself,
Want to take your hand,
But I'm scared,
Scared of being ridiculed.
Scared you'll hate who I really am,
I just want to be loved,
Why can't I be me?
I'm losing myself in my own deceit,
I'm sinking into someone else.
Holly Heron
114
Slipping, Falling
I feel like I'm slipping,
Like I can't break loose,
I'm bound at the wrists,
I can't strike back,
My ankles chained,
So I can't break free,
And I'm slipping,
And I'm falling,
And I'm losing part of me,
I've tried so hard to carry on,
Push against the downwards flow,
But I'm slipping,
And I'm falling,
And there's no place else to go.
Holly Heron
115
Something Never There
I'm lying in this pool of dark,
I'm crying out despair,
I'm mourning for what I have not lost,
For something never there,
I watched you from a distance,
And hope flared within my chest,
But then I heard,
And then I knew,
Then the black took my hand,
From the light came darkness,
And from the hope despair,
For my love has killed me,
And caused my blood to spill,
Led my soul into damnation,
Been my bodies end,
I hope that in my final stand,
My soul has been set free,
Free from a hollow cage,
Bound in chains of tainted love,
I'm hoping now it's ended,
Hoping dark will turn to light,
But I'm lying in this pool of dark,
Crying out despair,
Mourning what I have not lost,
And what was never there,
Hoping light will come,
BUt knowing,
Knowing light will never shine,
On such a sullied heart,
And in my final stand,
I took my leave,
My life.
Holly Heron
116
Sorry
I'm sorry,
Sorry that I left you,
But I couldn't take the pain,
The pain of your love,
The pain of knowing I'm not enough,
I'm not whole,
I can't give you,
What you need,
I can't love you back,
I can't take it anymore,
This hurts to much,
And you deserve more,
More than my tainted care,
I'm sorry,
But I'm not enough,
And your to much.
Holly Heron
117
Sorry's never ment a thing
Sorry's never ment a thing
All thay are, are hollow words
Falling from a petty mouth
Sorry's just a word
Someone put in the dictionary
To make everything seem alright
It's just a word
Someone thought of
To talk away the wrongs
Sorry's just a word
Someone created
To find the easy way out
Sorry's just a word
That a five year old needs to get by
Sorry's never ment a thing
It's just a hollow word
Falling from your petty lips.
Holly Heron
118
Space Cadet
I miss you
Far away
Fighting wars that aren’t your own
Saving lives you do not know
You could be a world away
And it would be the same
Floating in space where my heart can’t reach
My soldier, my cadet,
Journeying to distant lands
Like distant galaxies
I miss you
I love you.
Come home
Be safe,
Be near.
Holly Heron
119
Spiralling
Spiralling out of control,
Pull me back,
Keep me up,
Losing my balance,
No where to go,
Nothing to hold,
I'm going down,
Going to crash,
Losing grip,
Losing your love,
Falling, falling,
Burning.
Holly Heron
120
Staring out the window
Staring out the window,
Staring at my life,
Wondering where it all went wrong,
Or if it was ever right,
And I'm not sure what I'm seeing,
Don't know how to make ends meet,
Cos I lost the will so long ago,
And life is just one dream,
Staring out the window,
Staring at my life,
Wondering how to say goodbye,
Cos I need to have some light,
And I don't know what I'm doing,
Don't know where I need to be,
Cos I lost the love so long ago,
And life is just one dream,
Staring out the window,
Staring at my life,
Wondering where it all went wrong,
Or if it was ever right.
Holly Heron
121
Stop
Stop,
That's all I ask,
Stop making me love you,
Stop breaking my heart,
Stop giving me more lies,
Just stop.
Your hurting me with love,
It gives me so much pleasure,
So much pain,
Nightmares plague my dreams,
So please just let me go,
Let it stop,
Let me live.
Holly Heron
122
Stop Looking
Stop looking at me like you love me,
Stop acting like you care,
I've had enough of your endless lies,
Had enough of hurting,
You touch me like I'm the only one,
But I see the truth in your eyes,
I see her running through your mind,
I feel her in your kiss,
And I'm sorry,
I can't pretend anymore,
Can't act like you don't cause me pain,
But I loved you,
And your hurting me,
I love you,
But I thought you cared,
Stop acting like I matter! !
And like you want to stay...
Stop looking at me like you love me,
Stop acting like you care.
Holly Heron
123
Stop whining
Stop whining
Stop speaking
Just please stop your breathing
Your driving me insane
Every word you whisper
Like a candle in te grass
Is setting me ablaze
So shut up
And sit down
I'm sick of this circle
Just button it up
And live with it
If you want me to stay
Stop whining
Stop speaking
Just please stop your breathing.
Holly Heron
124
Tearing Away, Wearing Away
My heart is pulling me down,
My tears are breaking my soul,
Tearing away, wearing away,
Freezing down my core,
My beat has slowed,
Rhythms gone,
My love for you is tarnished,
You turnt away,
Forgot my love,
Deaf now to my cries,
My voice is tearing through this place,
And still your ears don't hear,
My blood is seeping from old scars,
Ode to an ancient pain,
My heart is pulling me down,
My tears are breaking my soul,
Tearing away, wearing away.
Holly Heron
125
Thank you
Thank you for showing me your not my only chance
Thank you for showing me love doesn't last
Thankyou for leaving me.
I realise now it doesn't matter how much I love you
That it was doomed to fail from the start
I was never enough
You always needed more
And I always tried to give.
Thank you for showing me you don't know who I am
Thank you for lying
Thank you for leaving
I'm free now
I'm whole now
I'm happy.
Thank you.
Holly Heron
126
The Goddess
The Goddess looked upon me,
And gave me visions true,
She bathed me in a cursed light,
She took a life from me,
I'm standing in a busy room,
I've nowhere left to go,
Losing now a memory,
She's taking it away.
The Goddess gave me vision.
Of all consuming light.
The Goddess left me here.
With just a gruesome sight.
The Goddess gave me vision.
She took away my night.
Holly Heron
127
The Knife You Plunged
Your knife it sticks within my back,
Your poison clogs my throat,
The gag you placed has drowned my screams,
My wrists, my legs are bound,
No longer can I fight you,
No longer will i win,
No longer can i warn the rest,
To stay from you cruel ways.
You leave me now to die,
To freeze in winters arms,
You leave me now for Death to take,
To embrace me in the dark.
The knife you plunged,
The poison gave,
The gag and chains restraint,
All lay upon your conscience,
All of them you gave,
So now upon my death bed,
I curse you and your gifts to me,
These actions will weigh words,
For every slight been given,
Send you deeper down to Hell.
Holly Heron
128
The Marsh
The marsh that I stand before shall yet soon be my end,
It's murky waters my destroyer,
The marsh grass my captor,
And how I yearn with such passion to step into my grave,
My heart holds back,
My feet don't move,
And my eyes soon well with tears,
O why may I not step down to join my lover there?
Will peace not take my mind and heart,
To lie with him and share his fate?
His horrid fate, he did not bring yet did unto himself,
In throws of jealousy,
A jelousy so strong that iron bars would bend before him,
With just a single poisonous glance.
Yet I did nothing to provoke him,
For provoke him how could I?
Those thoughts pierce like daggers through my mind,
And I would say my loving heart,
If my heart still held it's fire and beat within my chest,
Instead it sits embedded there,
Like some frozen jewel,
Nay, not a jewel but an elven palace forever beyond a mortals grasp.
For all he heard were rumours,
And rumours undid him,
He took a walk in the morning mist,
And enshrouded by it in his anger forgot,
Forgot where he was stepping,
Forgot what to do,
He stepped into this murderous marsh,
Now shall it take me too?
Holly Heron
129
The Tunnel
A tunnel,
As dark as the deepest night,
As cold as fear,
And the thought of forever,
Curled tightly in our hearts,
And yet we know that we shall walk,
And as we do,
We see,
We see the sins,
We’ve done unto those undeserving,
We hear,
The evil we’ve said and thought,
And it echoes through our minds,
At the end our bodies shake,
Our minds cringe,
Our hearts cease to beat,
For who knows what comes next,
And what lies beyond the tunnel
Holly Heron
130
time may pass
Time may pass
Distance may grow
But as long as you want me
I'm yours.
No matter the time
Or the distance between us
As long as you need me
I'm close.
Holly Heron
131
Too damn perfect
I put my trust in you
And I tried so hard
Yet for all this
It wasn’t enough
You couldn’t take me as I am
Couldn’t hold me as I cried
You're not here, you never were
It doesn’t matter what I do
You’ll never come
Never see my final tear
I put my trust in you
You walked away
I tried so hard
But my loves not enough
So go on, walk away
Turn your back on my tears
Because I’m never good enough
And you think your so damn perfect
Holly Heron
132
Touching My Soul
Your touching my soul,
As you reach for my heart,
Your wrenching it out,
As you hold me,
I'm dying now,
In your sweet caress,
I'm crying now,
As you kill me,
Your touching my soul,
Your wrenching it out,
Bathed in your love, I die.
Holly Heron
133
Tunnel
Stuck in a tunnel,
Scared you'll let go,
Afraid I'll lose myself in the night,
Keep hold of me,
Keep me close,
Don't let go,
Don't lose me,
Trapped in a tunnel,
Scared of the cold,
Afraid your warmth will disappear,
Keep me against you,
Keep me safe, please?
Don't let me freeze,
Don't lose me.
Holly Heron
134
Turn Me Not Away
Turn me not away,
Keep me firm to you,
Let your fire be my light,
Let it be my guide,
Keep me close,
Please smother me,
In the warmth of your flame,
Please I ask you,
Turn me not away.
Holly Heron
135
Wanting
Wanting to stop,
Wanting to wait,
Wanting,
Wanting,
Wanting,
Never getting,
I want your lips on mine,
Your bodies press,
But your miles away,
Living in another city,
Living in another world,
Your messages to me,
They just aren't real enough,
Your lying in another bed,
Thinking of me to,
But your in another city,
Could be another world,
I'm wanting,
Wanting,
Wanting.
But i don't seem to be getting.
Holly Heron
136
Watch Out
Leaving you
I’m losing you
And I would turn back
If I thought I had a chance
And I would take your lips
If I thought you’d return their touch
But I’m watching out
Before you drag me down
Watching out
Before you take my breath
Before you take my soul
And I lose my mind
Falling into your sweet abyss
Your sweet damnation.
Watch out for the devil
In a graceful outfit
Watch out for the angel
Lost in his grips
Sinking slowly down
Wings clipped
Innocence lost.
Watch out
For my angel.
Holly Heron
137
Weep
Feel,
Hear,
Sense,
Do what feel's right,
Then weep.
Weep for my departure,
Weep for my release,
Weep for the last breath,
That has yet to pass my lips,
Feel the spirit leave my body,
Hear the stillness of my heart,
Sense my sweet relief.
Then weep,
For a life thats passed,
And a fate so cruel,
But for my sake soon stop your weeping,
And save it for the next time I am lost.
Holly Heron
138
Welling Up
It's welling up inside of me,
It's slipping through my mask,
Why don't you look away?
I don't want you to see!
It's taking over mind and speech,
This sadness will not leave,
It's welling up inside of me,
And yet I can not speak,
Can't speak the truth,
About my life,
Calamity, despair,
Can't give you my confessions,
Can't tell you what I feel,
It's welling up inside of me,
Wish I could give it voice,
It's welling up inside of me,
I fear it will get loose.
Holly Heron
139
When the Days are Nights
When the days are nights
An hour seems much longer
And I need you to believe
And I need you not to doubt
I need to feel the trust in your kiss
I need you here to hold me
I’ll sleep much better in your arms
I need you here to make the time go by
The clocks stuck on the moment you left
And you said you weren’t coming back
Now you’re gone the clocks stopped ticking
Now you’re gone I’m left in a moment
A memory
A loss of a Love
Now you’re gone the days always night
And an hour lasts so much longer.
Holly Heron
140
Why do you break a heart thats yours?
I thought you trusted me
Thought you cared
Guess you don't
Gues you lied
Now I'm hurting
And I'm crying
Why love the one who hurts you?
Why embrace the one who bears the knife?
Why let the heart break in?
I LOVE YOU
Isn't that enough?
Why do you probe
And lie
And hurt?
Why do you hurt me?
I love you
I care
Why do you tear me apart?
Why do you break a heart that's yours?
Holly Heron
141
Why?
Why does it hurt when it's been so long?
Why when I think of you does my heartache?
Why when you betrayed me?
And I'm so sure I've moved on
I've found someone else
I love him...He's mine
He'd never leave me for another
Never make me live in Hell
Why does it hurt after so long?
Why is your face still hidden in my soul?
Why do you suddenly have to write?
Why don't you understand?
Why could you never believe?
But I've moved onto him
And its never been better
He's smarter
And cuter
Funnier
More loving
I'm over you
I mean it
Why does it hurt when it's been so long?
Why when I think of you does my heartache?
Holly Heron
142
You Bathe Within My Tears
Half a world away from here
You bathe within my tears
You laugh with glee at pain you bring
Now lodged within my chest
You smile with delight
To hear my sobs escape.
You bring me pain but shy away
When once I raise my hand
For god forbid i hurt once
When you have hurt three-fold.
Holly Heron
143
Your Bedtime Mistress
Sitting in your shadows
Hiding in your heart
Do I exist beyond your reach?
Do I live beyond your kiss?
Or is it only your words
Words that make my lips ache for your caress
That give me thoughts to think?
Is it only your heated touch
A touch which makes me collapse to my knees
That gives me form and flesh?
Do I exist beyond your gaze?
Do I live beyond your want?
Am I a figment of your lust?
A woman borne in dreams
Or am I subject to your whims?
Doomed to fulfill each vivid fantasy
That creeps into your body at night?
Your bedtime seductress
Your dreaming mistress?
Do I exist beyond your thoughts?
Or does your need give me breath?
Do I live beyond your sleep?
Or am I warm in only your slumbers?
Holly Heron
144
Your Laughter
Sitting in a crowd I miss you,
Sitting in a crowd I mourn,
Tears come to my eyes,
Then your laughter calls them out,
I remember your smile,
Your eyes,
Your voice in my ear,
Remember our youth,
Remember your laughter.
My friend I'll miss you,
But you're still here,
The laughter in the crowd,
That brings a smile to my lips,
I remember our girlhood,
Watching your flower,
Remember our secrets,
In each others care,
I remember you growing,
And living,
And being.
You were always there,
Always a shoulder to lean on,
A rock in a changing sea,
And though your shoulder isn't there,
And you've flown into the sun,
You're still here,
The laughter in the dark.
Holly Heron
145
Your love leaves to many bruises
The noise is drowning out my heartbeat,
My pain is dying in this cold,
And I want to be somewhere warmer,
Somewhere this pain just can't take place,
But I'm stuck here in your arms,
And you just won't let me go,
All I can hear is your yelling,
All I can feel is your pain,
Don't raise your hand to me again,
Or I might just find my strength,
I might just find my way out,
And break your hold on me,
Because I'm sick of the pain that you give me,
The dull ache I feel in my bones,
And I'm sick of the way that you treat me,
Commanding my life and my soul,
It doesn't matter that you love me,
Doesn't matter that I care,
Because your love leaves to many bruises,
And I can't take that pain anymore,
So, please, don't raise your hand again,
I don't want to have to leave,
But your love,
It's killing me slowly,
I just can't take that anymore.
Holly Heron
146
Your Next Hit
If I asked you to stop
Would you listen?
If I said that I cared
Would it help?
Or is your only concern
That very next hit
Sending you into oblivion?
Why can't my body be enough?
Why the powders,
The syringes,
The vein filling poisons?
I'd give you a high you'd never forget
I just need you to come back down.
I'd take you to places you've never been
I just need you out of your slump.
I asked you to stop.
You wouldn't listen.
I told you I cared.
It didn't help.
Your only concern
Is your very next hit
Diving head first into oblivion.
My body's not enough.
I'm taking it away.
Your addiction can keep you warm at night.
Holly Heron
147
You've left an empty room behind
You've left an empty room behind
Neatly packed away in boxes
You pecked my cheek and said goodbye
You walked right out
Didn't look back
I think my hearts backed in that box
The one marked 'memories'
They're long forgotten now
You left an empty room behind
I've never been able to fill it
It's been so long ago that I doubt you will remember
That sunny room I gave you
So warm and soft and light
But you saw what hid in the cupboard
You ran away in fright
You left an empty room behind
My heart packed up in your boxes
You've left an empty room behind
I've never been able to fill.
Holly Heron