ALL POEMS AEZ NEWHELLER

Poetry Series
Aez NewHeller
- poems -
2
Aez NewHeller (August 02,1990)
My real name is Karen Dotollo Palero.
I am such a loafer!
Oh well, I'm a lame IT student who happens to write stupid poems when
depressed and bored. I find it amazing when somebody really considers my
poems as poems, because I think I am the only one who considers my
poems as poems. My works are pretty stupid that's why I won't wonder if
most of the people can't consider it as a poetry. To those who considers my
poems as indeed a poetry, my big thanks to you. ♥
Just a REMINDER to the readers:
1. I'm still a NOVICE.^^
2. Poems with '(Originally Written on date) ' are
actually some of the poems I have written on my
notebook before I discovered poemhunter.com. In
which I decided to re-write here.
3. MY poems are really MINE. Authors of quotations
I sometimes use, (as a part on some of my poems) are
acknowledged.
4. If in case, just in case, you want to post my poems
to other site or wherever, feel free to do so. As
long as you won't forget to acknowledge my name as
it's original author.(^_^)
5. VOTING and COMMENTS(good/bad) are highly
appreciated! (^_^)
3
...My Friend...
Hatred filled me up
Lost! ...Give me a map
Seen a friend I named HOPE
Though my friend does not dope
My friend's always up high
I always keep an eye
My friend is tough
My friend doesn't cough
My friend can't laugh
Everytime i see my friend
I can see the solution for my problem to end
Smile i could send
My friend is the only one i want to hang
My friend is not a snake, My friend don't have a fang
My friend soon, I will hang to you
NO my friend, not when i'm blue
It'll be when i get so bored w/ happiness
As well as with loneliness
When i'm plainly who i am
and everyhting seems calm
My friend, it wil be so soon
and i will be your own
my friend hope,
who doesn't dope
but my friend is a special ROPE.
Aez NewHeller
4
a YeAr WithOuT yOu DeAr
Another year is coming
For my darling
Things done,
An accomplishment considered?
Forsee the year
So boring without you dear
Can't remember
The last time we're together
Thought it would last forever
Now hoping I can start another
For the love of a heart-breaker.
(Originally Written on July 28,2007)
Aez NewHeller
5
Accept.Forgive.Forget.
You are still not over her
You both still love each other
So I will make my exit,
And let her take her seat.
Thanks a lot for the time
I know you were never mine
Your heart belongs to her,
I'm no match to your girl.
I cannot hate you for lying to me
'Coz you're not oblige to give your honesty
But I am hurt for what you've done to me,
I never thought that forgetting would be the remedy.
Aez NewHeller
6
After I let you go, I will move on
You have left me standing alone
I got to pick the torn pieces of my own
We will be facing different tomorrows
I just hope, mine won't be sorrows
I could still remember you talked to me
With pleading eyes like you're in misery
I figured whats wrong when you said sorry
And gave back our valued accessory
For years we've been happy
Now I've lost you suddenly
Your smile because of me
Is committed to my memory
I want to see that smile again
I will let you go then
We will be happy in our journey
Let's hope that it will really be
Because after I let you go,
I will move on,
I will try hard to
'Coz I am strong!
I will be moving
Towards that road that I've long haven't taken
I will be smiling
Finally, im single again.
Aez NewHeller
7
After the Whirlwind love story of two fools fooling each other
Why should i be upset of losing you,
If you're not worthy to have me too?
You're a drunkard and a chain smoker
You're a gamer and a pervert story maker
That should be enough to convince me that what Im doing is such a time waster
Oh hell yeah, Ive created a very nice love story in my head
Its about you and me surrounded with your favorite color red
Now i just cant get it out that easily
coz its been entertaining me lately
Its a very great story that I messed up so early
A smile is painted in my face everytime I reminisce
Our conversations and exchange of sweet nothings
Those things may not really be sincerely said
But it made us smile, didn't it?
I'm absolutely not hurt for what had happened to us but im blue
bcoz of this pang of conscience to what Ive done to you..
And i just feel sorry for myself that I've been so dumb not to take the chance to
believe in love when I should have.
I am happy with the kind of relationship we had
But you've ruined it and I dont understand
Im still wondering why youve made that
we had our sincerest conversation before you took a shower
now im puzzled what happened when you were taking a shower
why all of a sudden US turns to NEVER.
Aez NewHeller
8
Can You be My Nobody?
It's so cold and
Nobody cares to give a hug
It's so dark and
Nobody cares to give some light
I'm so weak and
Nobody cares to give some strength
I wanted to cry but
Nobody cares to lend a shoulder
I'm so afraid and
Nobody seems to care
I am alone and
Nobody cares to join
Can you be my Nobody?
Would it be fine baby?
I have a lot of money,
Do you want it honey?
I'll give it to you freely,
Be merely my Nobody
I'm almost tired for
Nobody to arrive
Keep waiting for
Nobody to come
Tears are falling and there's
Nobody to wipe it dry
I'm standing so strong
Don't want to feel wrong
For i know my Nobody will come along.
Aez NewHeller
9
Different Colors
I've seen orange and green
When I've thought of a happy ending
I've seen black and white
During our toughest fight
I've seen red and yellow
When you said you'll go
I've seen violet and indigo
'Coz i can't let you go
And now I feel blue
Everytime i see you
(Originally Written on Nov.26,2007)
Aez NewHeller
10
Do you know what's beyond DEATH?
I want to die
Curiosity magnets me to lay
Tired of the predictable things about living
There are ups & downs,
After tears are smiles
And vice-versa
But death who knows about death?
Only those who are already dead, i presume
They say dying is crucial chance to take,
But we are always taking chances
In everything we do, we do.
Nobody alive knows what's beyond death
Maybe death is the sweetest thing about life
Maybe beyond death we'll get to think what LIFE really is
As a saying says
' only when it's gone, you'll realize it's importance '
But maybe not,
No living man knows
only DEAD does!
(May 22,2008)
Aez NewHeller
11
Fully Pressured
A lovely peaceful night
And my mind is so bright
My heart is so good
Can't feel the heavy load
Tomorrow is another day
'Huh! Life'
That's what I say
Going to school again
But I can't gain
Any of the learning
'Coz of something i'm thinking
(Originally Written on Dec.09,2004)
Aez NewHeller
12
I Love You... I'm Lying
I LOVE YOU
sounds good to my ear,
it sucks though,
heartache's what i fear..
being loved,
it feels so damn great!
and i have
doubts that ameliorate
i said yes,
but didn't mean it
and i guess
you lied, admit it
pretending,
in love with each other?
both laughing...
i dont even know you mister!
Aez NewHeller
13
I'm Human, I'm Uncontented
Isn't there a food
That could lighten a mood?
Isn't there a place
Where i could find peace?
Isn't there a home
Where nobody feels alone?
Haven't I no right
Say that I could fight?
Isn't there a human being
That would listen to what I'm talking?
Isn't there a mother/father
That will not burst into anger
Whenever i speak out loud
My feelings that are
Long kept in the dark?
Aez NewHeller
14
Island in an Astral
I bright at night,
YOu see me light,
I bright at day
To see me, I pray
Stable I am
Look at the empyrean
Where we are whammed
Get load of the one
We are billions
Yet an island
Such crayons
Vivid yet sole.
(Originally Written on Nov.17,2006)
Aez NewHeller
15
It's Hard to Dream When...
It's hard to dream when,
You came without calling
With me not expecting
It's hard to dream 'coz,
It makes me confuse,
Feels Im the muse
And you're my prince charming
It's hard to dream when,
Even it's not your name
You always come
And interrupt my dream
It's hard to dream 'coz,
It's not you I want to dream
But
Maybe it's my brain
Who wants to think
Of somebody who loves color green.^^
(Originally Written on Oct.28,2007)
Aez NewHeller
16
JuSt Be...
Stop reminiscing the past
Focus on the present
Stop thinking of tomorrow
Think of today
Stop planning for the future
You might not have it
Stop pushing yourself so hard
Act as you want to
The end is not in you
But will be in you.
(Originally Written on July 02,2007)
Aez NewHeller
17
life, on it's different side
if somebody will ask 'who are you? '
tell him that this is you..
coz you've let the wind bring you
coz you've let the tree let go of you
until in nowhere you flee
until you swam the salty sea
until you felt the dusty sand
until you walked the dry land
until you sunk in the grossy mud
until you're wheeled and felt bad
until you're thrown like a trash
until you met your brother in the rush
instead of a happy greet
'Who are you? ' is what you've met
so tell him that this is you,
tell him that soon
'You will be like me too..
all brown and impaired,
so be prepared..bcoz yo will be ugly
after the journey.'
Aez NewHeller
18
My Kingdom
This is what a like
being out of sight
alone in the corner
no one will look pitier
there are times
that i want to be noticed
but most of the time
i just dont want to exist
an hour being pathetic
i would dare to take
to visit my kingdom called boredom.
Aez NewHeller
19
My ObSession
you are what i'm praying for
for you i'll gladly open the door
in my door, you're welcome
yet you don't come
where it is close
that's what you always choose
been waiting for you to come
while others take a run
been seeking you everywhere
yet you're seeking others out there
i just couldn't come too close
of courage- i need a dose
although i seek for you
i don't want to push you through
coz when i try to
i just couldn't do
someone said that sorrows are sweet
for me, you're the sorrow that i'll love to eat
though others want to spit
so im begging you
please come to me in this moment
hear what i'm saying?
taking me will be a merriment
i've long been ready
so come and take me
don't know what's beyond you
that's why i wanted to.
they say your the end..
some say you're the solution..
but i say...
Death, you are my obsession.
Aez NewHeller
20
Poltergeist of the Past
I had this feeling before
Seems it's coming back for more
Sense of being jailed
In the present so illed
NOthing I could understand
Nothing I have in mind
Sense of contentment,
Or is it numb disappointment?
NOt sure of this feeling
Commemorate of the past healing
I've recalled that the only antidote is...
BREATHING.
(Originally Written on August 06,2007)
Aez NewHeller
21
Prisoner...
I'm not jailed,
But my feelings are,
They've been always there
Waiting for the time
When they'll be free
Thought it would be better
To keep it where I thought they belong
But what I thought was totally wrong
It's more than a pin
Acupuncture in my body
It's more like a knife
Cutting deeply in my life
Thats just what I feel
Everytime I keep mum
While gripping my hand.
Aez NewHeller
22
Stay out of My Mind
I'm always thinking of you
Wherever I may go
But must I let you go?
My heart says 'no'
Is this they call love?
And now I'm in love?
Or you just want me to pay attention
And tell to me that this feeling is just an infatuation
When I see you
You make my day complete
When you talk to me,
You make my heart a fast beat
I want to get you out of my mind
But what can i do?
My eyes can't stop looking at you
My eyes says 'It's a great day to see you'
(Originally Written on March 06,2007)
Aez NewHeller
23
The Change
Clock ticks,
Brain so crumpled
Pride so defeated
Clock ticks,
Boosted energy
Laughing freely
Clock ticks,
Tears falling
Suddenly sobbing
Clock ticks,
Simply sigh
And bid good-bye!
(Originally Written on March 20,2007)
Aez NewHeller
24
The CRAZIES
Talk about anything,
And laugh about nothing...
Sing a song for each other,
Or sing a song together...
Share a story of the past,
Or produce questions to be asked...
Demand to do a certain stuff,
Refusing means you have to bluff...
Bored of being solo,
But together we are emo...
Informing where you are,
Coz someone is worried from afar...
Mocking each others lousiness,
And laughing out the foolishness...
Admiring the determination,
And understanding the imperfection...
Creating a stress free world,
Our brains are indeed curled...
Suggesting untested and impractical things,
Still appreciated coz laughter it brings...
Respecting each others ethics,
For things to be fixed...
Asking if there is something wrong,
To make the conversation long...
Talking until the morning sun comes up,
Or until someone says time is up...
Smiling while listening to the silence,
Simply happy feeling each other's presence...
Being ourselves is fun,
We enjoy life's boredom...
This is what crazies do,
This is why I LOVE YOU.
Aez NewHeller
25
The Way I Inhale
Take a deep breath
Feel the beat of relief
Flowing blood pumps to the veins of the heart
Swallow the disappointments
Of unattained ambitions
Sense the heat
Flowing from the head to heart
Sense the stab,
Stab in the abdomen,
Which, ironically,
LEssened the pain.
(Originally Written on Aug.06,2007)
Aez NewHeller
26
Waiting..
Patience is easy to acquire
but waiting gets you in fire
waiting...
sometimes you got bored
waiting...
lets you visit your inner core
waiting...
initiates irritation
waiting...
blurs your visoin
waiting...
sitting...
writing..
everything because of waiting.
Aez NewHeller
27
Wanna Break My Life
What a bad day I had
But I must thank the Lord God
For the life given
And the countless blessing
Trials are so difficult
Wanna hide from it
Want to escape it
But I know I must face it
I feel as if my life is ending
For the trials that are passing
My brain is blasting
For I don't understand why I'm still living
Times I wanna cry,
I wanna die
Blame God for the life given
Pray for God to listen
To my wish of dying
(Originally written on October 19,2004)
Aez NewHeller
28
Which Is Which?
I am doubtful
Or to myself I am making a fool?
World is a lie,
Freaks want to die
Is that what they really are?
or my mind is just going too far?
Things aren't what they seem to be
But what they seem to be,
That's what I can't say
I don't know which is which
But I'd prefer to believe the glitch
The people you are talking to
are they telling you what's true?
Or just make-believe stories,
Instead of the 'sorries'?
If you are in their shoes,
Which would you choose?
TRUTH that DESTROYS,
or DECEIT that PROTECTS?
(May 22,2008)
Aez NewHeller
29
Wishing For My Dream To Come True
With the cold air
Passing through my skin
I'm here thinking of you
Wishing for my dream to come true
With the people singing and laughing
Surrounding in this lovely place
I'm here waiting for you
Wishing for my dream to come true
With the waves in the sea
Trying to get me
I'm here fantasizing of you
Wishing for my dream to come true
With the songs
I love to hear
I'm here singing for you
Wishing for my dream to come true
I'm here together with the rain
Crying for you
Still wishing for my dream to come true
(Originally Written on September 2004)
Aez NewHeller