Poetry Series
Rohit Sharma
- poems -
2
Rohit Sharma (July 6,1984)
Hello Friends,
Myself, Rohit Sharma, is a Senior Software Engineer by profession.
Writing is a hobby for me, a way to express my thoughts. I mostly write on
Love, as I feel, love is the most important gift you can share with someone.
I am also working on my first ever book, which is also a love story based on
one of my poem Our Love - Needs no Language.
My other hobbies include dancing, driving, sketching sports and exercising.
I hope you will enjoy these poems.
3
** I'll be with you all my life - A song
I'll be with you all my life
Holding you in my arms tonight, I can feel your love all around...
Your hug, a kiss, your smile, Baby how perfect it really sound...
All I know is now...I will be with you all my life...
Time has stopped, oh How! ! !
Baby everything, so beautiful I am sure,
Oh baby your love, your touch...it's so pure...
I am yours and you're becoming mine,
I will be with you all my life, baby
Holding you close to make you fine,
I love you so much like a crazy...
Wanna love you now...
I'll show you how...
Baby everything, is so beautiful I am sure
Your love, your touch... Baby, it's so pure....
I am yours and you're becoming mine,
I will be with you all my life baby
Holding you close to make you fine,
I love you so much like a crazy....
I need you to hold my hand, Tell me how it means to you..
Need you to make me understand... Love me the way I do...ooooo
You are the one for me... Whom i love so true...
Cant control this feeling... I LOVE YOU.... hooo hoooo
All I know is now...I will be with you all my life...
Wanna love some how....
Baby everything, is so beautiful I am sure
Your love, your touch... Baby, it's so pure....
I am yours and you're becoming mine,
I will be with you all my life baby
Holding you close to make you fine,
I love you so much like a crazy....
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I want you to come and see, how ecstatic my life has been
Cherish the MOOOOMENT... Only you and me, ee eeee
It's our paradise, I can see in your eyes
Come hug me BABY..... Hug me please...
Can you love me now....
4
Got to love you somehow......
Baby everything, so beautiful I am sure,
Hmm Hmm your love, your touch...it's so pure...
I am yours and you're so mine,
I will be with you all my life baby
Holding you close to make you fine,
I love you so much like a crazy....
Rohit Sharma
5
** You n I - LOVE SONG
You n I... Hmm Hmm O Yayyyyyyyyyy
Baby You n I... Hmm Hmm Hmm.. O Ho.....
You n I, it feels so good together
Baby loving you, in this romantic weather...
Don't hold back, let your soul fly
To the paradise far above the skyyyyyyyyyyyy......
Baby be mine forever just like I am for you...
Love me like you've never like my love so true...
Baby, You n I... Hmm Hmm O Yayyyyyyyyyy
You n I...O ho....O O
Hug me in your arms and break me, I am fine
Baby touch your lips so soft, kissing mine...
Yours the love... is all I really need
Can't you see the love which I truly feeeeeeeeeel....
Baby be mine forever just like I am for you...
Love me like you've never like my love so true...
You n I... Hmm Hmm O Yayyyyyyyyyy
Baby You n I... Hmm Hmm Hmm.. O Ho.....
You n I... we'll always be together
Baby loving you, like I've never...
Don't hold back, let our souls fly
To the paradise far above the skyyyyyyyyyyyy......
Baby be mine forever just like I am for you...
Love me like you've never like my love so true...
O O be mine forever, just like I am for you...
Baby, love me like you've never, like my love for you so true...
You n I... Hmm Hmm O Yayyyyyyyyyy
Baby You n I... Hmm Hmm Hmm.. O Ho.....
You n I...
Rohit Sharma
6
*** Song 3 - Love you this way
Love you this way! ! !
You are... my reason to live
and I have, my life to give...
Believe me, when I say
Our love is gonna stay....
Yes we are, like twin flames
Our love, is not a game...
Baby, believe me, when I say
Our love will forever stay....
Now I know who you are and who is me
Love in your eyes, baby all I can see...
You hold me close, you hug me so tight
Baby I love you, Just stay in my sight....
Yes we are, those twin flames
Our love, is not a game, baby...
Believe me, when I say
I'll always love you this way....
Love you this way... Hmm Hmmmm...
You are... my reason to breath
and I have, my smiles to give...
Will you believe me, when I say
Baby, Our love will forever stay....
The time may turn, the tides may rise
Weather may change, but dont be surprised
Keep holding my hand, we'll face this through
You're so special, I am always with you...
Coz we are, like twin flames
And our love, is not a game...
Baby, believe me, when I say
I'll always love you this way...
Love you this way.. Hmm Hmmmm
Baby Love you this way...hey Heyyyyy
You are... my reason to live
I have for you, my life to give...
Believe me, when I say
I'll be with you all the way....
Now we know, we're twin flames
Our love, is not a game...
Baby, believe me, when I say
I'll always love you this way...
7
I'll always... Love you this way... Hmm Hmmmmm
Oh Baby... I... will always... Love you this way! ! !
Copyrights reserved with Author.
To have a better idea on Twin Flames, visit http:
//www.soulevolution.org/twinflames/twinflames.htm
Thanks for your love and care! !
Rohit
Rohit Sharma
8
*** Song 4 - A Better Man… With You …
I never felt this, I was never so sure
Is this love? Oh, how it's so pure...
So carefree I was, No goals no plan
But, now I've met you, I am a better man....
What you've done to me, please tell me, Baby
I was never like this, never felt so crazy...
Think of you all day, I dream 'bout you all night
My love is so strong; Feelings say I am right....
I am a better man, Ever since you came in my life... Hmm Hmmmm
I am a better man, Ever since I felt your love so nice....
Better man.... A better man, I am for you.. oooo ooooooooooh
A better man, with your love so true.......
Now you holding me, I feel so secure
Your touch, your kiss, your love, so pure...
I'll love you more, to the maximum I can
Coz, now I've met you, I am a better man....
I feel so sad, Baby when you are sad
I feel so bad, when you feel bad...
I love to see, You smile all day through
I'm a better man, ever since I'm in love with you....
A better man, I am for you… oooo ooooooooooh
A better man, with your love so true.......
I am a better man, Ever since you came in my life... Hmm Hmmmmmm
I am a better man, Ever since I made you mine....
A better man... I am... With You....
So much better man, with our love so true! ! !
Rohit Sharma
9
*** Song 5 - You’re the one…
You're the one... The one for me
Who made me believe...
That this love is true
Now love is all I can see...
You're the one... who holds my hand
Every time I need...
Now I am holding you,
Want you to be with me...
Now I see you everywhere… I see you all around, Believe me...
I see you now and then… I see your hug surrounds, Oh Hug me!
Coz, you're the one…
Yes, you are the one, for me...
This love is so true
Now love is all I can see....
Now life is not the same… ever since you came, I feel it
I wanna take your pain… my love is not a game, Believe it...
I know you are the one…
Who loves me from the heart…
Baby, your love is so true
I feel it from the start...
Coz, you're the one…
Yes, you are the one, for me...
Now I love you even more… like your love so pure, I know this
Hmm Hmmm, I want you even more… Oh I am so sure, believe this...
The one for me... who made me believe
The love is true… love is all I can see...
You're the one... who holds my hand
Every time I need...
Now I am holding you,
Want you to be with me...
Coz, you're the one…
Yes, you are the one, for me...
Rohit Sharma
10
*** Song 6- Desires
Desires so hot,
Burning deep in our hearts
Our souls so wet,
Oh, let's make a start
It's a need of our bodies,
To make love tonight
Don't hold back, baby,
Our love feels so right...
Desires so hot,
Burning deep in our hearts
Our souls so wet,
Oh, let's make a start... Hmm Hmmmmm
Look at the way
Our bodies have met tonight
You holding me so close,
It's a romantic sight
Touch of your hands,
Sends shivers deep in my skin
I feel so insane...
DEEP WITHIN! ! !
Desires so hot,
Burning deep in our hearts
Now we have met
To never be apart... hmm hmmmmmm
Tonight, is the night…
We don't need to be in senses
Kissing, hugging, cuddling
As our love commences
Our faces so damp,
Our breaths so warm
Wanna love you more...
Stay in my arms....
Desires so hot,
Burning deep in our hearts
I kiss your lips,
As we make love so fast
It's a need of our souls
To be together tonight
Don't hold back baby,
This love feels so right....
Oh how, your long hair
Fall over my face
Our bodies as one,
As we make love near fire-place
A fire burning there,
And a fire in our love
11
God of love is sending
Blessings from above…
Desires so hot,
Burning deep in our hearts
Our bodies so wet
And heartbeats so hard
It's a need of our souls,
As we make love tonight
Don't stop now, baby,
Our love feels so right
Desires so hot…
Burning deep in our hearts
Hmmm Hmm Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Desires..... In our hearts! ! !
Rohit Sharma
12
*** Song 7 - Pain in my heart
Is this destiny? That something is missing in me
Ever since you've left me all alone....
It know we can’t meet, But don't know why there is
A pain in my heart ever since you're gone....
I know this is true
But, it's hard to stay away from you
I hate this loneliness
Still I feel so happy for you...
Then why there is pain in my heart
Ever since you you’re gone....
Why this loneliness surrounds
Why I feel so ALONE... Hmm Hmmm
A pain in my heart...hmmm hmmmmm
I understand what you said
That this is not correct
Trust me, I wanna make this
A relationship so perfect…
But still there is pain in my heart… hmm hmm Ho hoo
And I know even for you it was hard...
A pain in my heart... hmm hmmm
Now I see you happy, so much happy I feel
This friendship is true... this is all so real
Wish you get... what you really wanna in life
But there is pain deep inside coz I cant make u my wife...
This is destiny... something is missing in me
Ever since you have left me all alone...
Really wanna be with you, in my next life maybe
Coz this pain hurts so much ever since you’re gone
I will kill this pain, I will make you smile
I promise you, I will walk with you.... EVERY MILE...
Even if you don't need me... I'll be there for you
Now I know you... But I know myself tooo...
I will kill this pain, for the sake of your smile
I promise you, will walk with you every mile...
I will kill this pain... Hmm Hmmm
The pain in my heart... hmm hmmm
Pain in my... Heart....
13
Rohit Sharma
14
*** Song 8 - Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you feel the way I feel for you...
Do you want this?
Like I wanna stay forever with you...
Tell me now and tell me true
So that I can say, I am here for you
Take this ring and make me yours
We're so perfect, Baby, I am sure...
I really love you... from the depth of my heart... Hmmm hmmm
My heart... for you....
Do you love me?
Oh, tell me baby, do you need me?
Like I need you so much in my arms...
Do you feel this way?
Coz I dream about you all night...
I wanna convey
You're never out of my sight...
This is my love, my love so true
My heart says I am here for you
Baby, hold my hand and walk with me
See in my eyes... They'll make u Believe...
Coz I really love you... love you from my heart... Hmm Hmmm
My heart... Hmm Hmm.. for you...
You maybe someone for the world around you
For me you're the world and I really love you
Together we can win everything in life
You n I, feels so good; I wanna make you Mine....
Do you trust me?
When I say all this to you...
That I really love you...
Love you...hoo hoooo... Deep in my heart
My heart... hmm hmmm
Rohit Sharma
15
After We Met - the First Time
First Meeting, between you and me
Has caused a sweet sensation deep within...
My life has changed in one single moment
I am no more the guy I used to be....
Seems you have come straight to me from above
To hold my hand, bring me love
Now I have met you, my love, my destiny
Found the happiness, which was missing in me....
After we met, the first time, my mind lost its control
Can't stop myself either, my heart is on a roll...
Feelings deep within; Emotions; Testing Times
All of them say, Sweetheart, I wanna make you mine....
I sense, this feeling is ecstatic; this feeling is new
You've made me fall in love; This is all coz of you
Life is suddenly so beautiful; Love keeps me surround
I see you everywhere; See you all around....
Very First Meeting, between you and me
Has aroused never felt emotions deep within...
My destiny has changed in one single moment
All I say, I am no more the guy I used to be....
Rohit Sharma
16
Closer
Let's come closer one more time
Closer enough to make this fine,
Making this night worth remember
Sharing love with total surrender....
Come closer to me and make this true
Closer enough to love me all night through.
Hugging each other with our love so bright
Making this our very special night....
Come closer to me in my arms
Closer enough to feel the warmth,
Soft and gentle kisses all around
Loving each other without any bound....
Come closer to see how much I mean
Closer enough like you never have been,
To feel how much I feel for you
To love me the way I love you....
Let me come closer one more time
Closer enough to make you mine,
Making this moment worth remember
Sharing love with warmth and tender! ! !
Rohit Sharma
17
Come Back to Me
Come Back To Me! ! ! (written in 2003)
Ever since you have left me
I feel a sudden low in my destiny...
Solitude keeps me busy nowadays
Life is no more the way it used to be....
If ever you come back to me
I promise to love you more than ever...
Will take a good care of yours
So that you leave me never....
I am not the guy I used to be
as I was, when you were around...
Now life is no more beautiful
A lonliness keeps me surround....
If ever you come back to me
I promise to give you all the smiles...
Will make your life bed of roses
Will love yo always and make you mine....
I miss you every second of a day
Miss you all night long...
Pray you come back again
So that we can walk along....
If ever you come back to me
I promise to protect you from everything bad...
Will take all your pains on myself
Always keep you smiling, won't ever make you sad....
Baby, please come back to me
As I love you more than anything...
You are most important to me
My Love, my Destiny, my Everything! ! !
Copyrights reserved with Author.
Rohit Sharma
18
Did I Ever Tell You
You have always been there
Holding my hand, standing besides me
You took a lot of care
Even when my life kept me busy....
Did I ever tell you,
I love you from the depth of my heart
My feelings for you are true and honest
No matter what; we'll never be apart....
You sacrifice your dreams
Just to fulfill mine...
Walk with me in all weathers
Do everything to keep me fine.....
Did I ever tell you
What a wonderful companion you have been...
Your love and support is so special
What I am saying is what I really mean.....
You are the strength for me
That makes me stronger; helps me grow...
You have brought me all the good luck
Baby, How much you've done; even you don't know.....
Did I ever tell you
I feel blessed to have you with me...
Will love you like this even after my death
You're the one for me and you always have been! ! !
Rohit Sharma
19
Falling In Love... All Over Again! ! !
I am falling in Love
With U; all over again...
Mesmerised with your sparkling eyes
Your beauty has left me insane....
I am falling in love
With your so pretty face...
I just can't keep my eyes off you
You've made me lose my pace....
I am falling in love
With you as the time goes...
You look so vivacious today
like a dew on a bud of red rose....
I am falling in love
with your charismatic smile...
Time's flown back to day we met
Once again I wanna make you mine....
How beautiful God has made you
No word is best enough to explain...
I have to say; I am falling in love
With you my sweetheart, All Over Again! ! !
Rohit Sharma
20
Feelings to Convey
Always thought, love was not meant for me
Until I met someone who made me believe...
That love is Eternal; it keeps us surround
I fell in your love, when I saw you around....
Take some time to listen to what I say
Have something I really need to convey...
These are my feelings, my heart for you
I wanna convey, I am in love with you....
I may not be the perfect guy you look for
May not be the type you have dreamz of...
But I promise to be that one guy for you
Who'll love you; Will always be there for you....
Baby, how much I love you this way
What my heart says, I need to convey...
These are my feelings, my love for you
Wish to convey, wanna spend my life with you....
All these are my feelings, I wanted to convey
Don't wish to hurt you by telling this way
If ever you feel that my love is true
Just run into my arms; I'll always wait for you! ! !
Rohit Sharma
21
Hold on To Me
One day we made a promise to each other,
A promise to always stay together...
Now is the time to fulfil it true
Hold on to me, I'll always be with you....
Love cannot always be a smooth ride
We always have to be at each other's side...
This is the time when we can prove our love
Fight difficulties, face odds and rise above....
I know the time is tough, parents don't agree
Forcing us, fights, pressures on you and me...
I believe in our love and I'll make them believe
Will make them understand, so just hold on to me....
Baby, just recall the moments we have spent together
Moments of love, care with total surrender...
A pledge to live together and die together
Hold on to our love, we're made for each other....
I'll try my best to make parents understand
To change their minds, to change their stand...
Don't want to hurt them, I wish they agree
If everything fails, I'll take you along with me....
I need you to support me, like you always do
It will give me strength to face this time through...
We can bail this out, that's how I see
Good days will return, just Hold on to me! ! !
Rohit Sharma
22
I AM........ BECOMING YOURS.......
I AM...... BECOMING YOURS............
Ever Since I've heard those three words from you,
Magical Words, when you said - 'I love You'...
Something changed in me, Feel feelings so new,
May be I am becoming Yours, may be I am in love with You....
The world just froze for me, when you came close
In a gorgeous red gown and gave me a red rose...
You then said that you love me from all your heart,
Asked me if I can be yours, can we make a start....
Ever since my heart heard those three words from you,
Heavenly Words, when you said - 'I love You'...
I am just dreaming about your beatiful eyes so true,
May be I am becoming Yours, may be I am in love with You....
Look at me and see what you have done to me
I think of you all day, you are making me believe...
See you standing everywhere, with your arms open for me
I ask my reflection in the mirror, am I the guy I used to be....
Ever Since I've heard those three words from you,
Voice so mesmerising with words 'I love You'...
I see your lips when you say, wish to kiss you true
Coz, baby, Long ago I became Yours, Yes I am in love with You....
Rohit Sharma
23
I Promise...
Walk with me, with your hand in my hand
I promise to be the one who will always take your stand...
Life is a journey; we both will cover it together
I will always be true to you, no matter how is weather....
Speak to me, whenever your heart wishes to convey
I promise to listen to you; will listen to whatever you say...
Look into my eyes, which will make me understand
Words may fall short; your eyes will help me comprehend....
Hug me in your arms, if something troubles you
I promise to hug you back; will always take care of you...
Will bring back the lost smile on your beautiful face
Your smile is my life; your smile makes me lose my pace....
Hold on to me, no matter how bad the time is
I promise to protect you, I am confident to say this...
Baby, bad time like good time never stay forever
Keep holding on to me, I promise to leave you never....
Fight with me, if I break any promise which I've made
Make me realise in case I make any sort of mistake...
I promise to you, that day will never come in your life
I'll keep all my promises, till the moment I am alive! ! !
-Copyrights reserved with author
Note: Wrote this poem around 6-7 years back. At that time I described this poem as- A
love poem without any word called 'Love'. But I hope it has the essence of love and
trust.
Rohit Sharma
24
I See Myself...In Your Eyes! ! !
In this fake world, with your love so true
And you always by my side, it feels so good..
False images everywhere, world full of lies
I see my true self in your enticing eyes....
You've always loved me the way I am
Wish to give you the same, Really wish I can
I feel so secure to have you there for me
Coz true love elsewhere, I can hardly see...
Love is the most amazing thing happened to me
You makes my love special and really it is...
Used to search myself in the mirror and skies
Until I saw myself, In your scintillating eyes....
Your eyes so true, gives perfect reflection of mine
Tells me whats wrong with me, what's bad and what's all fine...
They give me strength, when I see so much love and care
No mater what happens, know you will always be there....
I promise to come back to you at end of each day
You are special, My sweetheart in every way...
Baby, I am always yours, you'll remain mine
Coz, I see myself in your 2 beautiful eyes! ! !
Note: The Topic was suggested to me by my friend and poet Anita Trivedi and she
asked me to write few lines on this. Hope notto dissapoint her.
Rohit Sharma
25
I'll be the one
Moments we share, can never be the same
At times we'll be happy, at times there will be pains...
But I'll be the one, to be always there for you
Holding your hand, taking care, with my love so true....
I'll be the one, to make sure your remain alright
Will shine your day with rays of our love so bright...
I'll be there, to look after you, to always take care
Will give you beautiful nights, with our love to share....
As long as I am alive, you have nothing to worry
I will walk along you for miles, I am in no hurry...
I'll be the one for you, to drink all your tears
All my smiles are yours; I will take all you fears....
I know you need me, honey, as much as I need you
Promise to love you like this, promise to be always true...
I'll be the one, on whom you can always trust and rely
I will love you always; will never make you cry....
You're the one with whom I want to be with
And the only one without whom, I can not be...
I'll be the one for you as you are the one for me
You are special to me; you always were and will be....
These moments we share, will never remain the same
Like weather changes from sunny, chilly, spring and rain..
I am that one guy, who will always be there for you
Who'll walk with you; holding hands, with our love so true! ! !
Rohit Sharma
26
Just 4 U
Every day passes with a hope
to spend a day with you..
True love dreams do come true
The dream I have is to live with you....
You were and are special to me
My love, my angel, my Shining Star
I have loved you truly
Unfortunately today you are very far....
I don't know, neither do I claim,
That nobody else loves you this way
Forcing u 2 love me isn't my aim
For me you are my untouched God, my pray...
I always felt that love's just an illusion in the mind,
It's all unreal, fake, impossible to find
But the day I met you, I began to see,
That love is real, and exists in me....
All i ever wanted was
to be a part of your heart..
And for us to be together
to never be apart....
I think about you all night long
Think about you as the day goes
I dream about you with my eyes open
Dream about you when they are close....
You build walls to see who cares for u
Can climb them to be there for u
Don't know if I've the right to stand besides u
Don't even know if I've the right to be there for u...
Today I stand all alone where you left me
Waiting for you, praying with the passing time
With a little hope that you will realize
What I feel When u'll be back, i'll be fine....
I know many love you the way I do
Coz you are such a sweetheart
I know myself, I love you the max I can
For me you are ultimate, For me You are my part....
I wish for your happiness Pray for your SMILES
My love for u is un-conditional
I hope that one day you will surely realize,
How PERFECT you are when seen through my Eyes...
Rohit Sharma
27
KITES, Like Two of Us
Feel my love and let our hearts fly
Like two beautiful kites in the sky....
Away from the rules of this world
Just in control of thread of our love! ! !
Come in my arms; let our fears go by
Like two beautiful kites in the sky....
Hugging each other amidst deep love
Feelings; as pious as a white dove! ! !
Love this moment; let our souls enjoy
Like two beautiful kites in the sky....
Loving each other's presence around
Away from sins, only love to surround
Lets go far, lets make a try
Like two beautiful kites in the sky....
Making love in the heaven up above
Rising higher in the depth of love! ! !
Baby, we two are like those kites
Sometimes closer; sometimes fights....
Still we love to fly high in the sky
Tangling in love; until we die! ! !
Rohit Sharma
28
Let Me Hide You
Let me hide you in my heart
Allow no one to see you apart from me...
Will love you my love more than my life
I swear on myself to make you believe....
I've come to bring love in your life
To dedicate my every breath on you...
Come and bring life in my heart beat
Come close to me and make this true....
Let me hide you in my arms
Allow no one to touch you apart from me...
Making you feel special all day
Love in my eyes, baby now you can see....
I remain lost; can't sleep at night
My love for you has made me insane...
Your thoughts are never out of my mind
How much I crave for you is hard to explain....
Let me hide you in the depth of my love
Allow no one to love you apart from me...
Telling you how much you mean to my heart
I say ''I love you'' by getting down on my knee! ! ! !
Rohit Sharma
29
Like Your Sky
Wherever you go, wherever you are
You'll find me there, no matter how far
It doesn't matter how distant you fly
I'll always be with you, Just like your sky....
If ever you feel, hot sun rays around
I'll become a cloud to sooth your surround
If ever you feel alone, lonely and solitaire
I'll become your shadow to always be there....
If ever clouds of sadness surrounds
Let them rain on me with all their bounds
If something bothers or you're upset or hurt
Allow those pains and troubles to hit me first....
Ever since you've come in my life
You've spread around a trap of smiles
Now I've understood the true way of living
By getting lost in you, I've found my everything....
Wherever you go, I'll come with you
Will walk with you till the life is through
Wherever you are, no matter how far you fly
I'll always be with you, just like your sky! ! !
Rohit Sharma
30
Listen to your Heart
Why do you hide, feelings of your heart
Listen to your heart so that we can make a start....
Why there are distances between me and you
Hold my hand and let's make this relation true.....
Listen to your heart to what it says
It will guide you, will show you the way....
Close your eyes and try to see this
Image of one single person you wanna be with....
When in love, this heart goes insane
Won't listen to whatever the world say
It doesn't care about society's rules
In love of someone; becomes obstinate and fool....
I know you love me the way I love you
Know you wanna be with me till the life is through
I know this and my heart also know
During soltitude you miss me a lot.....
Listen to your heart and listen it true
It says you feel for me the way I do....
Understand these feelings and let's be together
Our hearts says; we are made for each other! ! !
Rohit Sharma
31
Love in Paradise
Love in Paradise
I see in your eyes, I know you want to fly
To heaven up above, to our own little Paradise
You wrap arms around me, I hold you tight
We fly in the sky, and our love feels so right...
This place is so beautiful; no one seems to be around
We are away from that earth, only our love to surround
Flowers, fragrance, shiny crystals and we see a waterfall
Gods, Angels and Fairies, we've got blessings from all...
I hold you from behind, hug you close in my arms
Sweet kisses on your neck as I turn you around
I trace your cheeks with my gentle finger tips
Our tongues twine in love as we kiss each other's lips...
The music of birds, how divine they really sound
You embrace me in your arms and kiss me all around
I feel your warm breath, a moon light goddess you look
We make love in paradise, perfect as Shakespear book...
I look into your eyes; I know you wish to stay here
With me holding you in my arms, with me taking care
Baby, this is our heaven, which we'll always remember
Our own Paradise of love, where our souls surrender! ! !
Rohit Sharma
32
Love is You
What is love, how can it be defined
Some say it's an illusion; impossible to find...
I believe, it's God's gift, resides in our hearts
Binds two souls together, never to be apart....
Love exists in this world in different names and forms
One thing in common, it has no condition; no norms...
Love makes one's life beautiful, gives reasons to live
It makes no demands, but has everything to give....
Love gives us strength, the courage to fight
To face the bad time with all its might...
Love heals our deep wounds and pain
There is nothing to lose; love is all gain....
Love is an intense feeling shared between two hearts
Feelings of care; a promise to be never apart
Love is a passion; seeks no boundaries no language
Love is for you and me and people of all age....
Love is a trust, Love is surrender
It's an emotion which is warm and tender
Love exists everywhere; Love is Eternal and true
Not sure how it's defined, but for me, LOVE IS YOU! ! !
Rohit Sharma
33
Moments: Like Never before
This is the night, we always dreamed of
Alone You and Me, moments like never before
Come in my arms, Let's reprise our Love
Lose yourself in me; as stars in the sky above....
Candles are lit, beautiful roses are around
You in my arms, with only love to surround
Soft music in the air; how romantically play
Let's make this night and no further delay....
I can feel the fragrance of your breath
The touch of your fingers around my neck..
Warmth of your lips, gently touching mine
Carassing in love, the moments so devine...
I brush my fingers in your beautiful hair
Cute kisses and pecks; lots of love and care
Huggling and cuddling making love together
Blessings from above; truly made for each other
How heavenly my love, you look tonight
The shine on your face, your smile so bright
So blessed I am being loved by you
Like Romeo n Juliet our love is so true
This is the night we'll always remember
Full of love and our souls to surrender
Stay in my arms, I wanna love you more
Alone You and Me, Moments like Never before.....
Rohit Sharma
34
My Love, You will See
How this life goes by
Just in a blink of an eye
I shall wait an eternity
This my love, you will see...
I wanna hide my love in your heart
Keep it safe so that we are never apart
My heart is full of love; feels no pain
Your love has made me crazy; has made me insane
How this moment goes by
Like a shooting star in the sky
My love is eternal and my heart agrees
This my love, you will see
Make a small promise with me
Its more real then lives we live
My heart beats along with your heartbeats
I will follow your soul wherever it leads
How fast this time goes by
So hold my hand and make a try
I will love you until I breath
This my love, you will see.....
Rohit Sharma
35
Need You Tonight
I need you tonight
Need you all day long,
Moments spent are so bright
Really matters if you are along....
I need you in my arms
Loving me all day through,
Together from dusk till dawn
Our love makes all this true....
I need you to hold my hand
Tell me how much this means to you,
Need you to make me understand
Love me the way I love you....
I need you to come and see
How ecstatic my life has been
Need you to cherish this moment
No one around, just you and me....
I really need you tonight
Need you as the time goes by,
Hugging each other so tight
Loving and let our hearts fly! ! !
Rohit Sharma
36
One Smile of Yours
One Smile of Yours
Is worth LIVING my life for...
It makes me forget all day's pain
Refreshing; like a dance in rain....
Life's tough, brings all the troubles
Your Smile makes them go like bubbles
It gives me strength to face them all
Tells; you're with me till my last call....
One Smile of Yours
Is worth watching all day long
It makes me realize you love me the most
No matter how's time; you won't leave me at any cost....
I love the way you smile when I see you
It makes my day to see our bonding so true...
Your smile so sweet, your smile so refreshing
Its soothing for my heart; totally caressing....
One Smile of Yours
Is worth GIVING my life for...
Will do anything for this smile; that's how I see
Coz my love I love you and you're the one for me! ! !
Rohit Sharma
37
One Wish - Together Forever
Have some wishes, which I want to be get fulfilled
Long lasting desires deep in my heart
Hope, God above is listening to me when I say
To keep you and me together, never to be apart....
Wish to rise each day with, feel of your lips on my cheek
Whispers of your breath in my ears, touch of your fingers on my skin
You hugging me in your arms, your heartbeats close to mine
Warmth of emotions in your eyes, feelings of love deep within.....
Wish to see you each day of my life, together forever
Love you with my sincerity and to be loved by you
Holding hands and walking the path of life
No matter how's time, I'll always be with you....
Wish to die one day, watching you, lying in your arms
With a wish to live one more moment to see you one more time
To tell you I loved you all my life and when I am gone
I will be there around you to see that you are fine....
These are my wishes, which I need to be get fulfilled
Ultimate desires deep down in my heart
A one single thought to have you by my side
Prayers to the almighty, so that we are never apart! ! !
@copyrights reserved by Author
Rohit Sharma
38
Only One For Me
Life wasn't the same, when you were not there
Everyone was around but I used to be solitaire
You came; along came all the happiness that set me free
Now I know what I wanted; what was missing in me....
I love you the way you are
Just give me a chance to make a start
I'll be there for you; that's how I see
All I can say, You are the only one for me....
You are miles away, still I love you this way
But I feel you are with me; in my every day
I love you with all my heart; all my sincerity
Don't know what lies ahead, togetherness or disparity....
I love you no matter wherever you are
Once we are together, we'll never be apart
My love for you is honest, that's how I see
Wanna tell this, You are the only one for me....
I wish you could ever come and see
How incomplete my life has been
I wish you could ever come and feel
What I've to offer and what I really need....
I love you even if you don't agree
Won't ever force you to be with me
Wish you get all what you love; all what you need
But I'll confess, You are the only one for me! ! !
Rohit Sharma
39
Our Love: Needs no Language
One Beautiful Morning, I saw you standing there
Vivaciously Divine, sparkling eyes, shiny hair...
You looked like an angel, someone sent from above
Didn't know what happened to me, May be a feeling of love....
It was drizzling that day, and you looked in a hurry
I stopped by you to give you a lift, and said No Worry...
You said something to me in a language different to mine
Then sat next to me, and our story started so fine.....
I can see in your lovely eyes, to feel what you say
Never felt our languages can be a barrier in any way....
You speak Spanish, I am so Indian, still we can talk
I know what lies ahead; With you I am ready to walk....
I learnt to say 'Te Quiero' means I really Love you
'Tu Sonrisa es Bonita', your smile so Beautiful and true...
How cute you look when say 'Namastey' to greet me
Our actions speaks for our love, that's how it should be....
Somehow, you always know, what I wanna convey to you
You always make me understand with your love so true...
You smile with my smile, you get to know when I am sad
Makes me feel better, support me when the time is bad....
I can read your lips, feel the words of your heart
Know what you say, that we will never be apart...
Wish to tell you, we will always be together
Our languages may differ, but we are made for each other....
We two in love, so different but yet so similar
Don't understand languages, but feel so familiar....
So surprised I am, how our bonding has come of age.
Our Love is so true and love, like music, needs no language! ! !
Copyrights Reserved with Author
Rohit Sharma
40
PERFECT LOVE
A Perfect Love, does it really exist
Is it a Myth, a Reality or the God above...
To answer this question up to my satisfaction
I set out; In search of PERFECT LOVE....
Met a Priest, asked what is perfect love for him
Said it is the love we all have for LORD..
Unsaitisfied I was, b'coz in this mean world
God is remembered only when we're upset or bored.....
Met a Poor, asked what is perfect love for him
Said he don't need love, only Money he need...
Disappointed I was, b'coz in this selfish world
Money cannot buy love and love is not a greed.....
Met a big tycoon, asked what is perfect love for him
Said it is the love we all have for the Wealth around...
Unsatisfied I was, b'coz in this materialistic world
Wealth and riches cannot surely make happiness surround....
Unsatisfied, disappointed; my question unanswered
I raised my hands to ask God behind the skies....
Then I saw You, you came and hugged me your arms
I saw PERFECT LOVE, in your beautiful eyes! ! ! !
Rohit Sharma
41
Proposal
There are few words I need to say
Something has struck me since past few days
Need your time to listen me through
My heart says I am in love with you....
Give me one chance to make a start
Promise you; we will never be apart
You may not feel the way I do
But I promise to always love you....
My love for you will remain forever
Hold my hand and i'll leave you never
Swear on myself to make you believe
Only a ''yes'' from you can give me relief....
Weather will change the time will change
My love for you will remain unchange
I get down on my knee to tell this true
I love you baby; I love only you....
I'll protect you from all evils and bad
Always make you smile; never let u feel sad
Will be your shadow throughout your life
Accept my proposal and be my wife! ! !
Rohit Sharma
42
She is, My Mother
She was there, taking care of me
Even when I was not on this earth...
She is the one who has made me what I am
The one who brought me up, gave me birth....
She held my hand to teach me how to write
Taught me manners, what's wrong, what's right...
She is the one who filled all eductaion in me
Whose love is unconditional, has always been with me....
She taught me how to stand, how to walk
Gave me strength, Taught me speech and talk
The one who used to awake all night to make me sleep
The one who cares for me and most important to me...
She let her dreams go, just to fulfil mine
Left all her wants and needs just to make me fine...
Wish I could do a bit for her, bring her smiles
I love her the most and will do till the end of time....
She is there in my highs and lows
Helps me in bad times, help me let it go...
Wish to give her the best, as she is no other
She is my God, my prayers, She is my mother! ! !
Dedicated to All Mothers and Motherhood. Today 19 July is my mother's birthday and I
dedicate this poem to her.
Rohit Sharma
43
Still Love You
Somewhere down the road
I am feeling this way,
You're not coming back to me
No matter how hard I pray.....
You were not like this
Feeling less towards me,
The love in your eyes
Baby, now I can not see.....
I thought you love me
the way I love you,
But you prove me all wrong
That's what I know, that's what is true.....
I heard first love remains
forever in our hearts,
Either I wasn't the one for you
Or this is all myth; All false....
Now what can I do
Apart from missing you,
You have moved far away
But I Still Love you! ! !
Rohit Sharma
44
When I look at You
When I look at u..
I see the whole world
In your beautiful eyes...
The life seems so aesthetic
Everything feels so nice! ! !
When I look at u..
I feel u r someone
Who'll always b there...
No matter how the time unfolds
U will always take care! ! !
When I look at u..
I feel u love me
From the depth of ur heart...
We r together 4ever
We will never be apart! ! !
When I look at u..
I feel stronger to see
You standing by my side...
You r the ultimate for me
Feelings tell me; i m right! ! !
When I look at u...
I wanna tell you
Sweetheart, how much I love you
You are the reason for my happiness
and I'll always be with you! ! !
Rohit Sharma
45
With U - Every day is a Valentine
Today, the calendar reads 14 Feb
The day we all call as Valentine...
Let's celeberate this moment of love
Once again, I wanna make you mine....
You've always been so beautiful
Gracefully Vivacious; as you are today...
Our bonding of love has been so true
Wish you my love; Happy Valentine's Day....
You have been the only one girl
Who rules my heart; sends shivers down my spine...
I go down on one knee; my arms streched
Sweetheart; Will you be my Valentine....
Love is in the air, love is all around
Feel this love and come close to me...
I promise to keep you deep in my heart
Love you more then ever; that's how I see....
Today, the calendar reads 14 Feb
Cherish this day with a toast of red wine...
Baby, each day spent with you is special
With you my love; Every day is a Valentine! ! !
@copyrights reserved with Author
Rohit Sharma
46
You and Me: Friends Forever
You and Me: Friends Forever
All of us need, one friend so true
To be with us always, like I have you..
You and me, are friends forever
No matter how's time, I'll leave you never....
My life is beautiful, ever since you came
I have all the smiles, no more troubles or pain...
Now I have someone to listen me through
Someone who supports and cares me true....
You wipe my tears, whenever I am sad
Always stay with me, whether time is good or bad...
You laugh with my laughter, always make me smile
You're there for me always, walk with me every mile....
I wish I could be as good friend as you are to me
You are very special; I wish to make you believe...
You are my support, a shoulder on which I can rely
Weather may change, but you stay with me, like my sky....
You, me, everyone needs one friend so true
To share, to care, to be always with you...
You are my best friend, we are friends forever
No matter how's time, we'll always stay together! ! !
copyrights reserved with Author
Note: I wrote this poem on request of Dia, who wanted me to write something on
friends forever. This is my first ever try to write a poem friendship. :)
Rohit Sharma
47
You Me and Our Story! ! !
You Me and Our Story! ! !
Sweetheart, You and Me
Its a strange story...
But its so very special
It provides me Glory! ! !
I rose in love
Years ago....
It was for the girl
who I already know! ! !
The girl was beautiful
the girl was true
The girl was my life...
That girl was YOU! ! !
You taught me how to love,
taught me how to care..
Those moments spent with you
Will always be there! ! !
The frist hug, the first kiss
The warmth of the love so tender
What I did for my love
Was totally a surrender! ! !
The rush from the college
To meet you at the stop
Time used to be around 5 pm
My life was really over the top! ! !
Your eyes so beautiful
Your soul so soothing
Your aura so mesmerizing
I gave my love my everything! ! !
I always used to hold,
Your left hand by my right
Wanted to tell you
That I am always by ur side! ! !
I was living my life happily as ever...
Full of love and care
A split between us,
i thought will be never! ! !
You one decision to break
shook me up deep within...
I was broken, I was lost
I didnt know, where to be! !
48
I tried to fix the things
but u never seemed interested
You left me all alone
which i never expected! ! !
Baby, i missed u always
thought of you as the time goes bye
people came and went in my life..
But your place in my heart; i never let it go by...! ! !
Time turned around
history itself repeated...
you came back into my life
when mattered most; really needed! ! !
You brought smiles
back in to my life...
I started living again
started feeling nice! ! !
I started thinking of spending
rest of my life in your arms...
Started dreaming again...
A life wid you, full of charms! !
But you broke me again,
gave me no reason..
left me asking questions
left me in pain! !
Today, i m happy for you
coz sweetheart, i want your best
i have kept aside my feelings
kept them at rest...! ! !
I hv promised myself; not to force
not to question or demand
coz true love is not always
wat u need; wat u want! ! !
I will wait for you...Coz as I said...
Sweetheart U n me..its a beautiful story! ! !
Copyrights reserved.
One of my very old writings.
Rohit Sharma
49
You n I - Dancing in this Rain
Holding hands, getting closer together
In love of ours and this romantic weather...
Amidst all happiness, no room for pain
You n I, Baby we are dancing in this rain....
These showers of rain are blessings from above
For you and me and for all people in love...
I hold your hand and make you go round
Loving you as we dance, without any bound....
I hug you from behind, your head on my chest
We dance in this rain, everything else is at rest...
Our feet move in harmony, how beautifully we dance
This is the moment of love, perfect moment for romance...
Your arms around my neck as I hold your waist
Our bodies fully drenched in rain water taste...
Droplets on your lips, make them look so divine
So soft they feel, when I kiss them with mine....
Feeling warm breaths, hugging closer together
You are in my arms in this romantic weather...
Loving eachother with passion, our love is all gain
Nothing more heavenly then you n I dancing in this rain! ! !
@copyrights reseved with author
I was working on a scene of my firstever book, when I thought to write a poem on it.
This poem is the gyst of that scene :) ..well almost! !
Rohit Sharma
50
You n I and this Moment
This is the moment, we wanted to live
You n I together; lots of love to give....
Moon is full; looks beautiful today
You n I, always waited for this day...
Night is blue at her shining best
Lets make love; keep everthing at rest....
This is the moment, we always waited for
Our first special night; time is like never before....
Come closer to me and hug me tight
Loving each other amidst dim light...
You don't know how stunning you look
Wanna make this moment; a shakespear book....
This is the moment we both used to dream
You n I together; no one around to be seen....
I love the way you shy away like this
When I come close to give you a kiss...
Look in my eyes; tell me what you can feel
No one sees you baby the way I see....
This is the moment we both will remember
Our first night together with our love to surrender...
Lets live this moment with our love so warm
God of love has blessed us with all his charm
Baby, hold my hand and come closer to me
Feeling eachother's breaths; setting our souls free! ! ! !
Rohit Sharma
51
Your Love, is more than words
Your Love, is more than words
I always wondered, why you used to run away from me
On hearing me say 'I Love You', when I tried to make you believe...
Always felt you love me, but you never said anything, only cried
Now I know, its the power of speech from which you're deprived....
Here I am, to tell you, I love you for who you are, how you are
For me, you are my angel, with so much love for me in your heart...
I don't care if you can't speak, to express your feelings so true
God has given you most beautiful eyes, and your eyes speak for you....
Hold my hand and I swear on our love to make you believe
You will never ever feel that you can't say something to me...
I will be your voice, I will always be your power of speech
Just look into my eyes, and try to see what I can feel....
Love and passion needs no words, no language to explain
Like love of sky for earth, in the form of beautiful rain...
It is a feeling, an emotion which is impossible to be defined
Love is God, exists in everyone and everywhere it can be find....
I can look into your eyes to know what you need to say
Can sense the touch of yours to feel what you wanna convey...
Can understand your Hug, your Kiss, your Smile, Your tears and pain
Your Love, is more than words, needs no speech to explain! ! !
Copyrights reserved with Author
Love your partner as he or she is, No one is perfect, not even you.
Love has the power to convert imperfections to perfections....
Rohit Sharma
52
Your Love: All I Need
Can You hold my hand today
Time has not been good off late
Troubled waters; Life is in a mess
Broken I am, in a total distress...
Life was so beautiful, the day you came
Then I got busy to earn money and fame...
Took you for granted, diverted my mind
Now learnt my lesson, that i was Blind....
Can you give me one hug so warm
So that I froget all pain, all harm..
Nothing's working for me at this time
Hug me in your arms, I will be fine....
We men always feel, we're much stronger then you
But I need you my love to support me ture...
We may look tough, but we're weaker from within
So show me a way, for my life to begin....
Can you once love me, like you always do
It'll heel my pain, with your touch so true...
Wish to reprise my life, with all my heart
Your love is all I need, to make a fresh start! ! !
Rohit Sharma
53
Your Name...Emma
Dedicated to my friend Emma Adamyan who asked me to write a poem for her on her
beautiful name. I hope I do the justice.
How amazing is your name
Not everyone has the same...
Your name Emma, means tender
Like a pious love with surrender.....
You are my unseen friend
Your name so true, no false pretend...
Your talks so sensitive, so gentle
You're true to your name, soft n tender....
With so beautiful name, beautiful you are
We're friends, no matter if we're far...
We'll stay in touch as long as we live
Friendship has no demands, has everything to give....
Wish you have your life, as beautiful as your name
Soft n tender, without any trouble or pain...
Wish you remain happy, full of laughter n smiles
I am friend, sending wishes across miles! ! !
A poem for my friend Emma.
Rohit Sharma
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
ALL POEMS OF SAMANTHA D. CIRALDO
Poetry Series
Samantha D. Ciraldo
- poems -
She's Gone.
If you think of what if, You've stopped living.
If you live with why, You'll question everything.
Thinking of misery, Brings misery.
Thinking of happiness. Brings happiness.
The girl she was, Dissapered.
The girl she wanted to be, Arrived.
She didnt let the past break ber, It made her.
She depened on a man, He left her in tears.
She depended on herself, It filled her with joy.
She wants to explore, Finding herself.
She wants that old girl to dissapear.
Now she's gone, When you left she found her true self.
Samantha Danielle Ciraldo.
Samantha D. Ciraldo
3
Wishes.
This person she was has been hiding for far to long.
The person she was, Has been a make believe.
The girl you see is what she is.
The child you knew, Now knows what is real.
The past set her free, The future will make her see.
As she closes her eyes she wished for smile.
Today is hers to keep, She gave you yesterday<3
Samantha Danielle Ciraldo
Samantha D. Ciraldo
4
Yourself.
Feeling lost is only human
Finding your way is strength
and being found is faith.
I've depended on more than one man for happiness
I've given my innocence away.
I was lied to and I had believed
I've lied and i've also hurt them.
I've felt that fuzzy love feeling
But i've also learned that for now it's poison.
My past is not at all perfect
But it has set my boundaries.
It shows me that I am strong enough to face it.
I can now see what I did and who i was
5
There's nothing that can hold me back.
The future is for the taking
I will not give up until I feel i've won success.
The past has lead me here
therefore i shall leave it behind<3
Samantha D. Ciraldo.
Samantha D. Ciraldo
Samantha D. Ciraldo
- poems -
She's Gone.
If you think of what if, You've stopped living.
If you live with why, You'll question everything.
Thinking of misery, Brings misery.
Thinking of happiness. Brings happiness.
The girl she was, Dissapered.
The girl she wanted to be, Arrived.
She didnt let the past break ber, It made her.
She depened on a man, He left her in tears.
She depended on herself, It filled her with joy.
She wants to explore, Finding herself.
She wants that old girl to dissapear.
Now she's gone, When you left she found her true self.
Samantha Danielle Ciraldo.
Samantha D. Ciraldo
3
Wishes.
This person she was has been hiding for far to long.
The person she was, Has been a make believe.
The girl you see is what she is.
The child you knew, Now knows what is real.
The past set her free, The future will make her see.
As she closes her eyes she wished for smile.
Today is hers to keep, She gave you yesterday<3
Samantha Danielle Ciraldo
Samantha D. Ciraldo
4
Yourself.
Feeling lost is only human
Finding your way is strength
and being found is faith.
I've depended on more than one man for happiness
I've given my innocence away.
I was lied to and I had believed
I've lied and i've also hurt them.
I've felt that fuzzy love feeling
But i've also learned that for now it's poison.
My past is not at all perfect
But it has set my boundaries.
It shows me that I am strong enough to face it.
I can now see what I did and who i was
5
There's nothing that can hold me back.
The future is for the taking
I will not give up until I feel i've won success.
The past has lead me here
therefore i shall leave it behind<3
Samantha D. Ciraldo.
Samantha D. Ciraldo
ALL POEMS OF SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
Poetry Series
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
- poems -
2
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN (10/08/1988)
An Engineer
Works:
None Yet.....
3
Within....
'No mate no comrade,
Still happy within....
Swimming into the Sunshine,
Head held high
Stuffed with imagination,
That:
A beautiful girl
Dancing & Playing within...
The clouds...
Spreading the fragrance
Of happiness within...
The Ambience.
But today's is the different Sun,
The different Clouds and the SKY...
Aha! My Imagination came true...
It was day of incarnation,
Of That Angel of my Day-Dreams...
One mate one comrade,
Now I was swinging within...
Me and my new pengea of happiness...
Let's Enjoy the Day,
The Golden Day....
A new beginning with...
Energy and Enthu......
My Dearest of Dreams stepped into,
My Life....'
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
4
You
YOU
Had He is the PARTH, VASUDEV SRI KRISHNA
Is YOU!
His all WAYS and RAYS emanate
From YOU!
......................And terminates
To YOU!
His whole WORLD resides
Within YOU!
He learnt “dreaming”
Watching YOU!
His Dreams got translated
Into YOU!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
He hath all but nothing
Without YOU!
How can He expect His Existence?
Without YOU!
He is a Drop, You are the Ocean
He wished to lose His Existence
Within You!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
- poems -
2
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN (10/08/1988)
An Engineer
Works:
None Yet.....
3
Within....
'No mate no comrade,
Still happy within....
Swimming into the Sunshine,
Head held high
Stuffed with imagination,
That:
A beautiful girl
Dancing & Playing within...
The clouds...
Spreading the fragrance
Of happiness within...
The Ambience.
But today's is the different Sun,
The different Clouds and the SKY...
Aha! My Imagination came true...
It was day of incarnation,
Of That Angel of my Day-Dreams...
One mate one comrade,
Now I was swinging within...
Me and my new pengea of happiness...
Let's Enjoy the Day,
The Golden Day....
A new beginning with...
Energy and Enthu......
My Dearest of Dreams stepped into,
My Life....'
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
4
You
YOU
Had He is the PARTH, VASUDEV SRI KRISHNA
Is YOU!
His all WAYS and RAYS emanate
From YOU!
......................And terminates
To YOU!
His whole WORLD resides
Within YOU!
He learnt “dreaming”
Watching YOU!
His Dreams got translated
Into YOU!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
He hath all but nothing
Without YOU!
How can He expect His Existence?
Without YOU!
He is a Drop, You are the Ocean
He wished to lose His Existence
Within You!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
The Cup of His Happiness lies
Within YOU!
SANTOSH KUMAR PASWAN
ALL POEMS OF SHANIKA LOWE
Poetry Series
shanika lowe
- poems -
2
a life worth living
a small child sits upon her stoop
gazing upon the goings on of the block
thinking about what she wants to be
when she grows up
you see all she sees around her are
dealers, addicts, and young mothers
so what do you tell a child who sees no other
option in life
come on lets get realistic
the system has already branded her
to be just another statistic
a young mother with a drug dealing
baby daddy who stole her innocence
by buying a piece of her from her addict
of a mother
she only knows the hustle
of the street and the constant beat
of her newborns heart
and the cycle continues
so what do you tell a child who sees
nothing but this in her life
you tell her to be strong
and look past all of this
look forward to a bright future
cause she is just that
the future
the future of this world
its time to break the cycle
give or kids something to live for
give them something more than just life
give them the knowledge of living
living a life worth dying for
cause if we don't
what will they have to live for
shanika lowe
3
a love
i want a love
i want a love that makes me want no other
a love that makes me want
an older brother
to protect me from the hurt
i will feel if he ever leaves
i want a love
that makes me want to breathe
a love that has my body in knots
from the hellafied sex he is giving me
i want a love
when our bodies come together
we fit like a glove
tell me where
tell me how
tell me when will i find a love like that
shanika lowe
4
better half
if i had you
there would be
no half you would be
my whole
mind body and soul
for i would love
you for the things
you do and the
things your going to do
for me and you
taking time to be a gentle
man while being a gentlemen
you can trust in me that
this love comes with
a 100% guarantee
shanika lowe
5
broken
broken bones
broken hearts
broken spirits
the cries of the lonely and helpless
seems no one can hear it
wondering why help is never in sight
from the rise of the sun
to the darkest of night
leaning on each other for comfort
water rising
lives fading
cant get in her path
if you do youll feel her wrath
shes torn apart families
seperated lovers
and forsaken all others
broken bones
broken hearts
broken spirits
they knew it was coming
they saw it coming
never said a word
now its come and gone
and hes still singing that sad song
no matter how you twist the lyrics
you were still wrong
shanika lowe
6
dying to shine
on the backs of babies
you bring the bling
into popular society
on the backs of babies
you fit your grill
to shine like no other
did you know they were taken
from their mother
so you could have the best of the best
did you ever consider the
ring you put on her finger
was two away from the
trigger that was pulled on
the children
who try an escape the slave labor
forced upon them
cause you wanted to keep up
with the trend
how much did it cost you
how much did you spend
alot you say
well lets look at it this way
your diamond filled grill-$10,000
your girls engagement ring-$20,000
the day kids are treated like kids
in Sierra Leon-PRICELESS
now how much will you pay
if it was your seed
forced to bleed
for the princess cut earring
your wearing today
shanika lowe
7
extinct
black man
black man
where have you gone
i miss you so much
you've been away too long
black man
black man
why cant you see
the ties that bind
are between you and me
black man
black man
don't you understand
you need to blame yourself
instead of the white man
black man
black man
i need your loving hand
to turn our male children into strong men
black man
black man
stand strong and stand tall
because if you don't
there will be none left at all
shanika lowe
8
lets get away
i can see it
you and me
feeling the warm breeze
as we begin to
teaseour
taste buds
with the new flavors
of life
im relaxing only
cause your asking
me to
but only if you knew
how bad i want
to treat you
to a trip of my own
that has you on
a journey of ups
and downs and
ups and downs
there will be no one
but you and i
as we go deeper
you go deeper
into thought
and i know what your thinking
the wine is
not the only thing
you'll be drinking
shanika lowe
9
look into my eyes
look into my eyes
and see what you can
see the love and faith
i have in this man
the way he brings light into
my life and into my world
see the joy and pleasure
no one can measure
the amount of ecstasy
no number can number
he takes me places i could've
only imagined in my mind
my soul mate has found me
and will be with me til the end of time
look into my eyes
and you might see my heart
look into my eyes
and you might see
the moment he came into my life
the moment i became his wife
you see my eyes hold the
key to my soul and
before him
they were cold
now they are warm and inviting
but i answer only one RSVP
the one from my husband to me
shanika lowe
10
loud silent voices
somebody
anybody
my voice cant be heard
going through the motions
but cant create the words
dont know what it is
cant figure it out
i didnt ask to be made
but i want my chance to be seen
a chance to be heard
i didnt ask to be made
i want a chance
a chance to live
to breath
to become more then just a seed
something more than just a night of drinks and weed
let me live
let me live
please help me
somebody
anybody
dont let her go through with it
dont let the thoughts in her mind go into motion
please dont have this abortion
somebody
anybody help me
shanika lowe
11
man worries
the way life was
is something life
should never be
verbally and physically
abusing me
you broke me down
down to my knees
you put your hands on me
in front of my seeds
but im finally free
free to be me
free from the endless struggle
i had to endure
at the hands of someone
i thought loved me
scared to leave
cause of what you said youd do to me
afraid at times to come home
cause of how you treated me
but now im gone
and never coming back
me and the kids
are living a worry free life
i have moved on
and found a new wife
who loves me for me
and not the punching bag
you wanted me to be
i was called a punk and all that junk
because mama taught me respect
respect my wife and she will respect you
never put your hands on a woman
thats what everyone said
well who do you turn to
when its the woman putting fists to your head.
shanika lowe
12
Set Sail
can you feel my heart beat
can you see my knees get weak
as we stand here in this sensual embrace
i look at your face
and i want to inhale your exhale
let you hold me in your arms
as we set sail
on this lovers voyage
your touch gives me the courage
i need to go all the way down
to your soul
you fill up this hole
where my heart once sat
your kisses bring out the heat
from within and
i like it like that
your strong arms give me strength
to maintain all the pleasure
your manhood contains
as i try to refrain from being
what i am best
i see your advances as a test
a test to see if i can make it
all the way before imploding on impact
its not working
cause your working that spot
you know the one
cant control my hands
there roaming
and honing in on the target at hand
I've found it and i love this treasure
as i stroke it to the perfect measure
of length you feel
your knees get weak
and your lips part as to speak
but no words can be released
just whispers of pleasure
we call them moans
you see the roles being reversed
as you try to take control
I'm ready and willing to let you in
on my secret if you think you
can take it
moving slowly towards the point
of no return and you know i wont fake it
now this is where the magic starts
but unfortunately this is where my poem ends
and your imagination begins
shanika lowe
13
stained and tainted
look at yourself
your hands are stained and tainted
by this beautiful picture you think you've painted
your selling your soul for a piece
of this so called american pie
while you get rich children and babies die
die of starvation or
simply lack of appreciation
because you wanted to be a baller
selling dope to the very next caller
not caring whether she has enough to feed
her son or daughter
your hands
your mind
your soul all stained and tainted by the dope money
used to get you into this new life
away from the heat to keep you on the street
in the end your gonna ask god
why doesn't have mercy on you
then all those years will flash before your eyes
the screams
the cries
the lives you've taken
wondering why is it your baking in hell
not figuring out it was the dope you chose to sell
shanika lowe
14
sweet lady
not only am i a sweet lady
i am a sweetdiva
i will accept your love
and expect nothing
less then for you to
fill my heart body and
soul with all the passion
your emotions can hold
keeping my soul heated
cause its been so cold
the way you came into
my life was so bold
so dont ever go anywhere
i want you to have and to
hold til we get old
shanika lowe
15
take me back
take me back in time
to a time when kids were kids
and you would get your ass beat if
you were in grown folks biz
take me back in time
to a time when love and happiness
was just a song
and not a thing i wished for
take me back in time
to a time when the end of the school year
was all i longed for
take me back in time
to a time when what to wear on the first day of school
was my only worry
take me back in time
to a time when i was lying on the floor
watching thunder cats and in no hurry
now as i sit and watch my kids
grow out of being kids
wondering if I've taught them all they
need to know to grow as beautiful black women
you see this time is different now
kids are growing up too fast
learning how to shake they ass
before they can read write or count
you see this time is different now
kids are growing up too fast
cant shoot for the stars
but can shoot an AK
its time
time to take back our kids
not just for me or you but for them
its time to take back our kids
and teach them
its time to take back our kids
and reach their minds
cause like momma always said
you never know where your going
unless you know where you've been
so its time to take back our kids
not just for you
not just for me
but for them and their survival
let them know who they are
and where they come from
let them know they come from
king and queens
let them know they are royalty
take me back in time
to a time when
parents showed their loyalty
16
shanika lowe
17
unwanted love
unwanted love
memories flash before my eyes
as the tears fall and i look
to the skies for any kind of sign
that this did not happen to me
i lay in a fetal position
resting on the hopes and wishes
for another day
needing all the courage i can summon
because daddy's little girl reluctantly
became daddy's little woman
he violated me
taking something that was so precious
if mama ever found out it would kill her
he said if i told he would do just that
kill her
i can still hear the grunts and groans
like a mad man out of control
having the face of joy and regret
thats a look ill never forget
i want him dead because he just killed me
killed whats inside me
leaving nothing but distrust and distain
for the future suitors who may come my way
why did he do it
i dont know i did nothing
for him to want me in that way
im just a baby as mama would say
but god will help me through this
and guess what
he will deal with daddy on judgement day
shanika lowe
shanika lowe
- poems -
2
a life worth living
a small child sits upon her stoop
gazing upon the goings on of the block
thinking about what she wants to be
when she grows up
you see all she sees around her are
dealers, addicts, and young mothers
so what do you tell a child who sees no other
option in life
come on lets get realistic
the system has already branded her
to be just another statistic
a young mother with a drug dealing
baby daddy who stole her innocence
by buying a piece of her from her addict
of a mother
she only knows the hustle
of the street and the constant beat
of her newborns heart
and the cycle continues
so what do you tell a child who sees
nothing but this in her life
you tell her to be strong
and look past all of this
look forward to a bright future
cause she is just that
the future
the future of this world
its time to break the cycle
give or kids something to live for
give them something more than just life
give them the knowledge of living
living a life worth dying for
cause if we don't
what will they have to live for
shanika lowe
3
a love
i want a love
i want a love that makes me want no other
a love that makes me want
an older brother
to protect me from the hurt
i will feel if he ever leaves
i want a love
that makes me want to breathe
a love that has my body in knots
from the hellafied sex he is giving me
i want a love
when our bodies come together
we fit like a glove
tell me where
tell me how
tell me when will i find a love like that
shanika lowe
4
better half
if i had you
there would be
no half you would be
my whole
mind body and soul
for i would love
you for the things
you do and the
things your going to do
for me and you
taking time to be a gentle
man while being a gentlemen
you can trust in me that
this love comes with
a 100% guarantee
shanika lowe
5
broken
broken bones
broken hearts
broken spirits
the cries of the lonely and helpless
seems no one can hear it
wondering why help is never in sight
from the rise of the sun
to the darkest of night
leaning on each other for comfort
water rising
lives fading
cant get in her path
if you do youll feel her wrath
shes torn apart families
seperated lovers
and forsaken all others
broken bones
broken hearts
broken spirits
they knew it was coming
they saw it coming
never said a word
now its come and gone
and hes still singing that sad song
no matter how you twist the lyrics
you were still wrong
shanika lowe
6
dying to shine
on the backs of babies
you bring the bling
into popular society
on the backs of babies
you fit your grill
to shine like no other
did you know they were taken
from their mother
so you could have the best of the best
did you ever consider the
ring you put on her finger
was two away from the
trigger that was pulled on
the children
who try an escape the slave labor
forced upon them
cause you wanted to keep up
with the trend
how much did it cost you
how much did you spend
alot you say
well lets look at it this way
your diamond filled grill-$10,000
your girls engagement ring-$20,000
the day kids are treated like kids
in Sierra Leon-PRICELESS
now how much will you pay
if it was your seed
forced to bleed
for the princess cut earring
your wearing today
shanika lowe
7
extinct
black man
black man
where have you gone
i miss you so much
you've been away too long
black man
black man
why cant you see
the ties that bind
are between you and me
black man
black man
don't you understand
you need to blame yourself
instead of the white man
black man
black man
i need your loving hand
to turn our male children into strong men
black man
black man
stand strong and stand tall
because if you don't
there will be none left at all
shanika lowe
8
lets get away
i can see it
you and me
feeling the warm breeze
as we begin to
teaseour
taste buds
with the new flavors
of life
im relaxing only
cause your asking
me to
but only if you knew
how bad i want
to treat you
to a trip of my own
that has you on
a journey of ups
and downs and
ups and downs
there will be no one
but you and i
as we go deeper
you go deeper
into thought
and i know what your thinking
the wine is
not the only thing
you'll be drinking
shanika lowe
9
look into my eyes
look into my eyes
and see what you can
see the love and faith
i have in this man
the way he brings light into
my life and into my world
see the joy and pleasure
no one can measure
the amount of ecstasy
no number can number
he takes me places i could've
only imagined in my mind
my soul mate has found me
and will be with me til the end of time
look into my eyes
and you might see my heart
look into my eyes
and you might see
the moment he came into my life
the moment i became his wife
you see my eyes hold the
key to my soul and
before him
they were cold
now they are warm and inviting
but i answer only one RSVP
the one from my husband to me
shanika lowe
10
loud silent voices
somebody
anybody
my voice cant be heard
going through the motions
but cant create the words
dont know what it is
cant figure it out
i didnt ask to be made
but i want my chance to be seen
a chance to be heard
i didnt ask to be made
i want a chance
a chance to live
to breath
to become more then just a seed
something more than just a night of drinks and weed
let me live
let me live
please help me
somebody
anybody
dont let her go through with it
dont let the thoughts in her mind go into motion
please dont have this abortion
somebody
anybody help me
shanika lowe
11
man worries
the way life was
is something life
should never be
verbally and physically
abusing me
you broke me down
down to my knees
you put your hands on me
in front of my seeds
but im finally free
free to be me
free from the endless struggle
i had to endure
at the hands of someone
i thought loved me
scared to leave
cause of what you said youd do to me
afraid at times to come home
cause of how you treated me
but now im gone
and never coming back
me and the kids
are living a worry free life
i have moved on
and found a new wife
who loves me for me
and not the punching bag
you wanted me to be
i was called a punk and all that junk
because mama taught me respect
respect my wife and she will respect you
never put your hands on a woman
thats what everyone said
well who do you turn to
when its the woman putting fists to your head.
shanika lowe
12
Set Sail
can you feel my heart beat
can you see my knees get weak
as we stand here in this sensual embrace
i look at your face
and i want to inhale your exhale
let you hold me in your arms
as we set sail
on this lovers voyage
your touch gives me the courage
i need to go all the way down
to your soul
you fill up this hole
where my heart once sat
your kisses bring out the heat
from within and
i like it like that
your strong arms give me strength
to maintain all the pleasure
your manhood contains
as i try to refrain from being
what i am best
i see your advances as a test
a test to see if i can make it
all the way before imploding on impact
its not working
cause your working that spot
you know the one
cant control my hands
there roaming
and honing in on the target at hand
I've found it and i love this treasure
as i stroke it to the perfect measure
of length you feel
your knees get weak
and your lips part as to speak
but no words can be released
just whispers of pleasure
we call them moans
you see the roles being reversed
as you try to take control
I'm ready and willing to let you in
on my secret if you think you
can take it
moving slowly towards the point
of no return and you know i wont fake it
now this is where the magic starts
but unfortunately this is where my poem ends
and your imagination begins
shanika lowe
13
stained and tainted
look at yourself
your hands are stained and tainted
by this beautiful picture you think you've painted
your selling your soul for a piece
of this so called american pie
while you get rich children and babies die
die of starvation or
simply lack of appreciation
because you wanted to be a baller
selling dope to the very next caller
not caring whether she has enough to feed
her son or daughter
your hands
your mind
your soul all stained and tainted by the dope money
used to get you into this new life
away from the heat to keep you on the street
in the end your gonna ask god
why doesn't have mercy on you
then all those years will flash before your eyes
the screams
the cries
the lives you've taken
wondering why is it your baking in hell
not figuring out it was the dope you chose to sell
shanika lowe
14
sweet lady
not only am i a sweet lady
i am a sweetdiva
i will accept your love
and expect nothing
less then for you to
fill my heart body and
soul with all the passion
your emotions can hold
keeping my soul heated
cause its been so cold
the way you came into
my life was so bold
so dont ever go anywhere
i want you to have and to
hold til we get old
shanika lowe
15
take me back
take me back in time
to a time when kids were kids
and you would get your ass beat if
you were in grown folks biz
take me back in time
to a time when love and happiness
was just a song
and not a thing i wished for
take me back in time
to a time when the end of the school year
was all i longed for
take me back in time
to a time when what to wear on the first day of school
was my only worry
take me back in time
to a time when i was lying on the floor
watching thunder cats and in no hurry
now as i sit and watch my kids
grow out of being kids
wondering if I've taught them all they
need to know to grow as beautiful black women
you see this time is different now
kids are growing up too fast
learning how to shake they ass
before they can read write or count
you see this time is different now
kids are growing up too fast
cant shoot for the stars
but can shoot an AK
its time
time to take back our kids
not just for me or you but for them
its time to take back our kids
and teach them
its time to take back our kids
and reach their minds
cause like momma always said
you never know where your going
unless you know where you've been
so its time to take back our kids
not just for you
not just for me
but for them and their survival
let them know who they are
and where they come from
let them know they come from
king and queens
let them know they are royalty
take me back in time
to a time when
parents showed their loyalty
16
shanika lowe
17
unwanted love
unwanted love
memories flash before my eyes
as the tears fall and i look
to the skies for any kind of sign
that this did not happen to me
i lay in a fetal position
resting on the hopes and wishes
for another day
needing all the courage i can summon
because daddy's little girl reluctantly
became daddy's little woman
he violated me
taking something that was so precious
if mama ever found out it would kill her
he said if i told he would do just that
kill her
i can still hear the grunts and groans
like a mad man out of control
having the face of joy and regret
thats a look ill never forget
i want him dead because he just killed me
killed whats inside me
leaving nothing but distrust and distain
for the future suitors who may come my way
why did he do it
i dont know i did nothing
for him to want me in that way
im just a baby as mama would say
but god will help me through this
and guess what
he will deal with daddy on judgement day
shanika lowe
ALL POEMS OF SHUSHIL CHOUBEY
Poetry Series
shushil choubey
- poems -
2
shushil choubey (27 september 1968)
A medical post graduate, I have spent my professional life in pharmaceutical
industry - managing the medical, scientific and regulatory affairs of drug
development and discovery. My core interests have been in medical ethics,
legal, drug safety; besides neuroscience and cardiovascular science. My wish
is to see a nice green harmonious earth, a clean blue sky, a clean ocean, a
free-flowing river; with food, shelter, medicine and care for all.
Works:
none
3
a shadow under you
we are at cross-roads of life
in life's darkness
looking for answers
looking to that someone
for that little help
a little ray of light
a little ray of hope
for listening to our sad songs
to listen to our joy
to rejoice and cry together
that someone that is mine
let me know a place to hide,
i wish to go far away
where there is no sunlight
i like the darkness and silence
stars, rolling clouds and moon
the sun will burn us
it is a glory, but not to us
it is bright and powerful
but still is wish to hide
can you lead me
to a place away from the sun
a shadow under you
shushil choubey
4
blossom and a fairy tale
It glows bright in morning light
The rays of gentle Sun
On the pink petals
The dew sits tenderly
The soft breeze sways
A soft gentle fragrance
And the tiny bud underneath
Looking up under the tenderly petals
Waiting under the shades – singing
Learning to blossom and a fairy tale
They rejoice close together
A kiss and a gentle touch
Innocent and glowing
Unaware of night nor noon or harsh wind
Singing on on life
Let the Sun not be too bright
The wind gentle like a breeze
And nights lit by moonlight
Standing on the soft green meadow
Looking up at the gentle clouds
They rejoice!
I behold in the garden
Nature, beauty and wonder!
May this last for forever?
shushil choubey
5
dot of green
I remained silent, there was reason to speak
I wait in shadow of evening;
I wish I could!
May the box of voice open up?
But it will not - tonight
I can’t see my dot of green;
It’s dull and grey tonight
I prey to Morpheus;
Be kind to me tonight!
The nights are unkind and insane;
I wish tomorrow is a different day
And the night greyer than dark
shushil choubey
6
I am in haste
I am in haste
Please don’t come to my kitchen
I know you are hungry
Risking your life
Few crumbs of sugar or milk
You are small and wander
I am in haste
I can’t see you in the corner
In my mug or beneath
You are too tiny
My friend this could be your last dinner
I don’t want you to die
But you must have your food
And I am sometimes careless
Don’t trust my human nature
I may tempt to deceive
But you don’t have much choice
And you must eat or die
shushil choubey
7
I feel you when the waves are far
I had a desire
Of holding hands
Of remaining silent
At night
On top of the mountain
Or on the sand
Speak nothing, the heart knows
And I don’t speak
The white waves crawling, close to the feet
The moon sleeping
No one around, golden silence
And the noise of the ocean
And then I sleep on the sand
I look up
It’s empty. Tiny stars and the sky
I feel you when the waves are far
You are still beside me
We wait! No one! eternity
I don’t want the sun
I don’t want the light
I don’t want to see the morning
I love the silence and you
shushil choubey
8
I saw tears
I have heard it
I have believed it
I have not seen it
I was searching for smiles
I saw tears
I had not expected it
But my luck would bring me there
I have failed and many times
To hold a dropp from falling
To hold the gentle smiles forever
Today I saw that sweetness is brief
It followed the setting sun in urban noise
A desolated tyranny
But I dream
Will the eyes sparkle even in the hardest sun?
Or the faintest moon and the urban streets with shaded light?
The street that was desolate today will smile again?
shushil choubey
9
the house of passion
This house is disintegrating
Do I have time?
Before the house disappears
It’s been built on dreams of emotion
It’s fragile
I can’t see is falling
It’s a pity!
Give me strength give me time
But who!
Can I salvage my bondage?
To the house of passion
Built carelessly in clouds
Do I have a choice!
But time isn’t mine
And I am slowly falling
shushil choubey
10
thoughts of fancy
I have been flying unaware of my destination
And looked around across the land
Never seen someone to the desire of which exists
To find someone to live for
I am hanging on hopes of dying
But living on hopes of flights of feathers
For they will not exist
Sinking all the time to greater depth
For a moment to pull myself – reassuring
And a reason to live but I see none
I had sought a reason to love
And die for the reason for which I would have lived
The thoughts of fancy
Angles and goodness of life
Meaningless wondering mind
Interwoven dreams like clumsy love
Unheard except to solitude
And then this will pass on
And then there will be none
And there I won’t be here
The child is dead and the man must die
The thoughts were just a fancy for the child
Illusion for the man
The existence on chance drifting to the end
And I wait looking for the illusion of existence
And my thoughts of fancy
shushil choubey
shushil choubey
- poems -
2
shushil choubey (27 september 1968)
A medical post graduate, I have spent my professional life in pharmaceutical
industry - managing the medical, scientific and regulatory affairs of drug
development and discovery. My core interests have been in medical ethics,
legal, drug safety; besides neuroscience and cardiovascular science. My wish
is to see a nice green harmonious earth, a clean blue sky, a clean ocean, a
free-flowing river; with food, shelter, medicine and care for all.
Works:
none
3
a shadow under you
we are at cross-roads of life
in life's darkness
looking for answers
looking to that someone
for that little help
a little ray of light
a little ray of hope
for listening to our sad songs
to listen to our joy
to rejoice and cry together
that someone that is mine
let me know a place to hide,
i wish to go far away
where there is no sunlight
i like the darkness and silence
stars, rolling clouds and moon
the sun will burn us
it is a glory, but not to us
it is bright and powerful
but still is wish to hide
can you lead me
to a place away from the sun
a shadow under you
shushil choubey
4
blossom and a fairy tale
It glows bright in morning light
The rays of gentle Sun
On the pink petals
The dew sits tenderly
The soft breeze sways
A soft gentle fragrance
And the tiny bud underneath
Looking up under the tenderly petals
Waiting under the shades – singing
Learning to blossom and a fairy tale
They rejoice close together
A kiss and a gentle touch
Innocent and glowing
Unaware of night nor noon or harsh wind
Singing on on life
Let the Sun not be too bright
The wind gentle like a breeze
And nights lit by moonlight
Standing on the soft green meadow
Looking up at the gentle clouds
They rejoice!
I behold in the garden
Nature, beauty and wonder!
May this last for forever?
shushil choubey
5
dot of green
I remained silent, there was reason to speak
I wait in shadow of evening;
I wish I could!
May the box of voice open up?
But it will not - tonight
I can’t see my dot of green;
It’s dull and grey tonight
I prey to Morpheus;
Be kind to me tonight!
The nights are unkind and insane;
I wish tomorrow is a different day
And the night greyer than dark
shushil choubey
6
I am in haste
I am in haste
Please don’t come to my kitchen
I know you are hungry
Risking your life
Few crumbs of sugar or milk
You are small and wander
I am in haste
I can’t see you in the corner
In my mug or beneath
You are too tiny
My friend this could be your last dinner
I don’t want you to die
But you must have your food
And I am sometimes careless
Don’t trust my human nature
I may tempt to deceive
But you don’t have much choice
And you must eat or die
shushil choubey
7
I feel you when the waves are far
I had a desire
Of holding hands
Of remaining silent
At night
On top of the mountain
Or on the sand
Speak nothing, the heart knows
And I don’t speak
The white waves crawling, close to the feet
The moon sleeping
No one around, golden silence
And the noise of the ocean
And then I sleep on the sand
I look up
It’s empty. Tiny stars and the sky
I feel you when the waves are far
You are still beside me
We wait! No one! eternity
I don’t want the sun
I don’t want the light
I don’t want to see the morning
I love the silence and you
shushil choubey
8
I saw tears
I have heard it
I have believed it
I have not seen it
I was searching for smiles
I saw tears
I had not expected it
But my luck would bring me there
I have failed and many times
To hold a dropp from falling
To hold the gentle smiles forever
Today I saw that sweetness is brief
It followed the setting sun in urban noise
A desolated tyranny
But I dream
Will the eyes sparkle even in the hardest sun?
Or the faintest moon and the urban streets with shaded light?
The street that was desolate today will smile again?
shushil choubey
9
the house of passion
This house is disintegrating
Do I have time?
Before the house disappears
It’s been built on dreams of emotion
It’s fragile
I can’t see is falling
It’s a pity!
Give me strength give me time
But who!
Can I salvage my bondage?
To the house of passion
Built carelessly in clouds
Do I have a choice!
But time isn’t mine
And I am slowly falling
shushil choubey
10
thoughts of fancy
I have been flying unaware of my destination
And looked around across the land
Never seen someone to the desire of which exists
To find someone to live for
I am hanging on hopes of dying
But living on hopes of flights of feathers
For they will not exist
Sinking all the time to greater depth
For a moment to pull myself – reassuring
And a reason to live but I see none
I had sought a reason to love
And die for the reason for which I would have lived
The thoughts of fancy
Angles and goodness of life
Meaningless wondering mind
Interwoven dreams like clumsy love
Unheard except to solitude
And then this will pass on
And then there will be none
And there I won’t be here
The child is dead and the man must die
The thoughts were just a fancy for the child
Illusion for the man
The existence on chance drifting to the end
And I wait looking for the illusion of existence
And my thoughts of fancy
shushil choubey
ALL POEMS OF SIHEM BOUBEKEUR
Poetry Series
Sihem Boubekeur
- poems -
2
Blaming You
I blame you for ruining my life
I blame you because I don’t feel that I’m alive
You destroyed my dreams
You killed all my hopes
I blame because you let me like you
Because you made me adore you
I blame you because I never lied to you
I never cheated on you
But you did lie to me
And you betrayed me
I blame you because you treated me badly
Because you made me feel silly
I blame you because my heart is grieving for you
I blame you because my eyes are crying for you
I’m blaming you for the tears that I shed
Blaming you because I’m mad
Blaming you for the pain that I felt
Do I have to blame my heart…?
Sihem Boubekeur
3
I Hate You
I Hate You
I hate the way you looked at me
I hate the way you spoke to me
I hate the fact that once you cared about me
I hate your beautiful eyes
I hate your charming smile
I hate the way you think
I hate the way you look
I hate the way you talk
I hate the way you walk
I hate how romantic guy you were
I hate how wonderful person you were
I hate the fact that you stole my heart
I hate how you made me fall apart
I hate how you made a scar across my heart
I hate the sleepless nights that I spent
Thinking of you
Dreaming about you
Imagining you
I hate being insane about you
I hate being obsessed about you
I hate everything about you
I hate that I met you
I hate the way you lied to me
I hate the way you betrayed me
I hate the way you treated me
I hate how you made me dwell in sadness
I hate that I no longer know the word happiness
I hate you because,
You make me feel sorrow
I hate you because,
You made me feel like I’m in sombre hollow
I hate you because now
I am deeply sorry for myself
Because now
I’m grieving by my own self
I hate you
Because you meant to be my destiny
Because you meant to be my one and only
Because you didn’t give my heart another opportunity
I hate you because now
I hate myself for loving you
I hate you more because,
I Still Love You.
I hate you more and more because
I can’t forget you
I hate you because
I couldn’t move on without you
I can’t carry on without you
I hate you because
I will always love you
4
Sihem Boubekeur
5
Love...?
Love is a sweet melody
Love is all about destiny
To love is to share feelings
Love is caring
To love is to have plans together
To feel each other
To believe in each other
To trust each other
To breathe the same air together
A boy falls in love with a girl from the first glance
It was love from the first sight
When he saw her became fond of her
Is he truly in love with her?
Or just want to be with her?
Is it because he’s lonely?
Or simply because she’s lovely
Is it the true love?
Is it the pure love?
When he saw her, felt that love is melody
Felt that this girl is his destiny
He shared his feelings, care, plans with her
He dreamt about her
All that in few hours
Is it love or insanity! ?
He described her face as perfectly made face
He wants her no matter what is the distance
She changed his life in few hours
Is that love?
Is she a good girl to do that to a nice guy?
Is it the wrong or the right way
To make him fall in love in one day
Is she a good girl?
He was living in peace
Now, he’s dwelling in a sleepless night
And no peaceful night
Now, he can’t sleep without thinking about her pretty face
Can’t sleep without gazing at her eyes
He‘s scared of living in fears
Afraid from losing her
When he saw her…
He felt that she’s the right girl he was longing for
The right girl he was looking for
Deep in his heart felt that she’s the one, he’s searching for
Is that love?
Love is precious
Love is priceless
Sihem Boubekeur
6
meaning of life
What is life?
Is it nice or bad?
Is it easy or hard?
Some say that life is wonderful
Others say that life is terrible
Some say that life is like a nice dream
Others believe that life is so mean
Some say that life is sweeter than sugar
Others say that life is sombre and bitter
Some say that life is a shiny weather
Others say that life is a darky weather
Some say that life is awesome
Others say that life is tiresome
Is life lying and betraying
Or is it love sharing
I say that life has;
Some good and bad times
I say that life is;
A gift from God to us
A sweet melody for us
Life is a joy
Life is a toy
We have to know how to play with it
We have to know how to manage it
Otherwise it would make us shed tears
It would break our dreams
It would make us live in the past
And forgetting about our present
It would make us think;
That our future is ruined
That our fantasies are destroyed
No matter how hard life is
We have to be harder
No matter how tough life is
We have to be tougher
We have to know how to taste its sweetness
We have to know how to live in happiness
We should know how to kiss away the pain
We have to know how to remain always sane
Life is good
Life is bad
Sihem Boubekeur
7
Regret
I am truly and deeply regretting
For giving you my pure heart
For loving you from the bottom of my heart
You were my breath
You were my strength
You were my sight
You were my life’s light
You were my first and last lover
I thought we belong together
I thought we loved each other
But you cheated on me
You didn’t even care about me
You tried to jettison me
I believed in each single word you said it to me
Thought you are honest with me
You didn’t love me
But now I know that you lied to me
I’m regretting for each moment I spent it with you
Regretting for trusting you
For believing in you
I am deeply regretting for the three words I said it you
Saying I Love You
Didn’t mean anything to you
You let me sink in your own world
You showed me a world full of love and promises
Now I’m regretting because I’m sad
Because your world was fake and full of lies
You were as the moon to me
Lighting my gloomy life
You were as a star to me
Sparkling, shining and keeping me alive
You tore my pure heart apart
You let my world fell apart
How am I gonna cure my poor heart?
I'm regretting because I met you
Because I knew you
Because I thought of you
Sihem Boubekeur
8
Running Away
They leave their homes, lands and their families
Pauper people looking for changing their lives
Poor folks seeking better life
They want to live high
Seeking refuge, looking for paradise
They run away from their houses
Just to feel safe and get money
Think that they will taste honey
By getting far, swimming, suffering and dying in the ocean
When it comes to death, they’ve got no emotion
Their feelings passed away
That’s why they choose to run away
Suffering tortured them
Poverty killed them
Misery murdered them
Decide to get rid of their lives
Choosing whether having a better life or dying in the sea
They take the sea as their way
But confront death when they run away
Sihem Boubekeur
9
Several Things I Hate About You
I hate when you call my name
I hate when you send me mail
I hate when you give me rings in the middle of the nights
I hate when you give me precious gifts
I hate when you look at me
I hate when you understand me
I hate when I’m in rough times, you support me
I hate when I’m weak, you give me strength
I hate when you tell me that you care about me
I hate when you stand by me
I hate when you hold me
I hate when by love you spoil me
I hate when you share everything with me
I hate when you draw a smile on my face
I hate when you dry my tears
I hate when you take away all my fears
I hate when I’m sad you make me glad
I hate how deeply I’m in love with you
Sihem Boubekeur
10
She's In Love
He took her heart
He did that in one night
She wanted to be with him
But the distance is between them
She’s scared to be in deep love with him
Though he’s sinking in her love’s ocean
He feels towards her a pure and innocent emotion
She didn’t know how to be in love
He taught her the real meaning of love
He described her as Cruel Beauty Queen
She’s never been described by a Queen
She’s in love with the love’s King
Sihem Boubekeur
11
Sorry
Sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry, I lied to you
Sorry for making you trust me
I am sorry for letting you believe in me
Sorry for making you depend on me
Sorry for being mean to you
Sorry for being rude with you
I’m sorry I couldn’t love you
Sorry I played you
Sorry I used you
Sorry I betrayed you
Sorry for once i made you laugh
Sorry for not being enough
I am sorry for being tough
I’m sorry for the pain I put you through
I’m sorry I couldn’t make it with you
Really I am sorry for I wouldn’t find someone as you
Sorry for myself because now I feel love towards you
I know it’s late but it’s my fate
It is said that nothing is too late
Now I wanna be your soul mate
Sorry for everything I made
Sihem Boubekeur
12
When I Found Out...
When I found out that you lied to me
I distrusted you and no longer believed in you
But I left it in my heart and never told you
I got scared of you, didn’t want to break up with you
Afraid from losing you
But I never showed you anything because I loved you
When I found out that you are with another woman
All my fears came true
Did I do something wrong to you?
So, why you treated me like this?
Why you punished me like that?
Have I ever hurt you?
Have I ever been mean to you?
All I wanted is to love me back
Now, I wanna my heart back
Wanna my happy life back
When I found out that you…
I said good-bye to you
And I would never come back to you
It’s time to let go of you
It’s time to forget about of you
It’s time to move on without you
Sihem Boubekeur
Sihem Boubekeur
- poems -
2
Blaming You
I blame you for ruining my life
I blame you because I don’t feel that I’m alive
You destroyed my dreams
You killed all my hopes
I blame because you let me like you
Because you made me adore you
I blame you because I never lied to you
I never cheated on you
But you did lie to me
And you betrayed me
I blame you because you treated me badly
Because you made me feel silly
I blame you because my heart is grieving for you
I blame you because my eyes are crying for you
I’m blaming you for the tears that I shed
Blaming you because I’m mad
Blaming you for the pain that I felt
Do I have to blame my heart…?
Sihem Boubekeur
3
I Hate You
I Hate You
I hate the way you looked at me
I hate the way you spoke to me
I hate the fact that once you cared about me
I hate your beautiful eyes
I hate your charming smile
I hate the way you think
I hate the way you look
I hate the way you talk
I hate the way you walk
I hate how romantic guy you were
I hate how wonderful person you were
I hate the fact that you stole my heart
I hate how you made me fall apart
I hate how you made a scar across my heart
I hate the sleepless nights that I spent
Thinking of you
Dreaming about you
Imagining you
I hate being insane about you
I hate being obsessed about you
I hate everything about you
I hate that I met you
I hate the way you lied to me
I hate the way you betrayed me
I hate the way you treated me
I hate how you made me dwell in sadness
I hate that I no longer know the word happiness
I hate you because,
You make me feel sorrow
I hate you because,
You made me feel like I’m in sombre hollow
I hate you because now
I am deeply sorry for myself
Because now
I’m grieving by my own self
I hate you
Because you meant to be my destiny
Because you meant to be my one and only
Because you didn’t give my heart another opportunity
I hate you because now
I hate myself for loving you
I hate you more because,
I Still Love You.
I hate you more and more because
I can’t forget you
I hate you because
I couldn’t move on without you
I can’t carry on without you
I hate you because
I will always love you
4
Sihem Boubekeur
5
Love...?
Love is a sweet melody
Love is all about destiny
To love is to share feelings
Love is caring
To love is to have plans together
To feel each other
To believe in each other
To trust each other
To breathe the same air together
A boy falls in love with a girl from the first glance
It was love from the first sight
When he saw her became fond of her
Is he truly in love with her?
Or just want to be with her?
Is it because he’s lonely?
Or simply because she’s lovely
Is it the true love?
Is it the pure love?
When he saw her, felt that love is melody
Felt that this girl is his destiny
He shared his feelings, care, plans with her
He dreamt about her
All that in few hours
Is it love or insanity! ?
He described her face as perfectly made face
He wants her no matter what is the distance
She changed his life in few hours
Is that love?
Is she a good girl to do that to a nice guy?
Is it the wrong or the right way
To make him fall in love in one day
Is she a good girl?
He was living in peace
Now, he’s dwelling in a sleepless night
And no peaceful night
Now, he can’t sleep without thinking about her pretty face
Can’t sleep without gazing at her eyes
He‘s scared of living in fears
Afraid from losing her
When he saw her…
He felt that she’s the right girl he was longing for
The right girl he was looking for
Deep in his heart felt that she’s the one, he’s searching for
Is that love?
Love is precious
Love is priceless
Sihem Boubekeur
6
meaning of life
What is life?
Is it nice or bad?
Is it easy or hard?
Some say that life is wonderful
Others say that life is terrible
Some say that life is like a nice dream
Others believe that life is so mean
Some say that life is sweeter than sugar
Others say that life is sombre and bitter
Some say that life is a shiny weather
Others say that life is a darky weather
Some say that life is awesome
Others say that life is tiresome
Is life lying and betraying
Or is it love sharing
I say that life has;
Some good and bad times
I say that life is;
A gift from God to us
A sweet melody for us
Life is a joy
Life is a toy
We have to know how to play with it
We have to know how to manage it
Otherwise it would make us shed tears
It would break our dreams
It would make us live in the past
And forgetting about our present
It would make us think;
That our future is ruined
That our fantasies are destroyed
No matter how hard life is
We have to be harder
No matter how tough life is
We have to be tougher
We have to know how to taste its sweetness
We have to know how to live in happiness
We should know how to kiss away the pain
We have to know how to remain always sane
Life is good
Life is bad
Sihem Boubekeur
7
Regret
I am truly and deeply regretting
For giving you my pure heart
For loving you from the bottom of my heart
You were my breath
You were my strength
You were my sight
You were my life’s light
You were my first and last lover
I thought we belong together
I thought we loved each other
But you cheated on me
You didn’t even care about me
You tried to jettison me
I believed in each single word you said it to me
Thought you are honest with me
You didn’t love me
But now I know that you lied to me
I’m regretting for each moment I spent it with you
Regretting for trusting you
For believing in you
I am deeply regretting for the three words I said it you
Saying I Love You
Didn’t mean anything to you
You let me sink in your own world
You showed me a world full of love and promises
Now I’m regretting because I’m sad
Because your world was fake and full of lies
You were as the moon to me
Lighting my gloomy life
You were as a star to me
Sparkling, shining and keeping me alive
You tore my pure heart apart
You let my world fell apart
How am I gonna cure my poor heart?
I'm regretting because I met you
Because I knew you
Because I thought of you
Sihem Boubekeur
8
Running Away
They leave their homes, lands and their families
Pauper people looking for changing their lives
Poor folks seeking better life
They want to live high
Seeking refuge, looking for paradise
They run away from their houses
Just to feel safe and get money
Think that they will taste honey
By getting far, swimming, suffering and dying in the ocean
When it comes to death, they’ve got no emotion
Their feelings passed away
That’s why they choose to run away
Suffering tortured them
Poverty killed them
Misery murdered them
Decide to get rid of their lives
Choosing whether having a better life or dying in the sea
They take the sea as their way
But confront death when they run away
Sihem Boubekeur
9
Several Things I Hate About You
I hate when you call my name
I hate when you send me mail
I hate when you give me rings in the middle of the nights
I hate when you give me precious gifts
I hate when you look at me
I hate when you understand me
I hate when I’m in rough times, you support me
I hate when I’m weak, you give me strength
I hate when you tell me that you care about me
I hate when you stand by me
I hate when you hold me
I hate when by love you spoil me
I hate when you share everything with me
I hate when you draw a smile on my face
I hate when you dry my tears
I hate when you take away all my fears
I hate when I’m sad you make me glad
I hate how deeply I’m in love with you
Sihem Boubekeur
10
She's In Love
He took her heart
He did that in one night
She wanted to be with him
But the distance is between them
She’s scared to be in deep love with him
Though he’s sinking in her love’s ocean
He feels towards her a pure and innocent emotion
She didn’t know how to be in love
He taught her the real meaning of love
He described her as Cruel Beauty Queen
She’s never been described by a Queen
She’s in love with the love’s King
Sihem Boubekeur
11
Sorry
Sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry, I lied to you
Sorry for making you trust me
I am sorry for letting you believe in me
Sorry for making you depend on me
Sorry for being mean to you
Sorry for being rude with you
I’m sorry I couldn’t love you
Sorry I played you
Sorry I used you
Sorry I betrayed you
Sorry for once i made you laugh
Sorry for not being enough
I am sorry for being tough
I’m sorry for the pain I put you through
I’m sorry I couldn’t make it with you
Really I am sorry for I wouldn’t find someone as you
Sorry for myself because now I feel love towards you
I know it’s late but it’s my fate
It is said that nothing is too late
Now I wanna be your soul mate
Sorry for everything I made
Sihem Boubekeur
12
When I Found Out...
When I found out that you lied to me
I distrusted you and no longer believed in you
But I left it in my heart and never told you
I got scared of you, didn’t want to break up with you
Afraid from losing you
But I never showed you anything because I loved you
When I found out that you are with another woman
All my fears came true
Did I do something wrong to you?
So, why you treated me like this?
Why you punished me like that?
Have I ever hurt you?
Have I ever been mean to you?
All I wanted is to love me back
Now, I wanna my heart back
Wanna my happy life back
When I found out that you…
I said good-bye to you
And I would never come back to you
It’s time to let go of you
It’s time to forget about of you
It’s time to move on without you
Sihem Boubekeur
ALL POEMS OF SINDEE RILEA
Poetry Series
Sindee Rilea
- poems -
2
Sindee Rilea (25 DEC 1957)
Oh gosh, well, the only real thing I can say about me is 'Illusion is just an
unexplored reality'
A relative of the great Walt Whitman I do not fancy myself the poet he was,
or even much of a poet at all, although I make a meager living as a writer, I
imagine that to the rest of my family (this generation) I am as quixotic
as he was (to his) .Rashly unpredictable.
3
2: 34 a.m.
In the dark recesses of his mind
he creeps in on himself
He sees her lying there, and although they have made peace
He wants to kill her this time
She sleeps, soundly, a soft snore escapes her
He sneers, approaches slowly, deliberately
He raises his hand, like an instrument of divinity
He will rid his world of her
He pauses, stares down at her
her face, soft, beautiful
even angelic
GOD he hates her!
Her kind bother him.
Not intentionally,
her presence makes him uncomfortable
because she is him, and yet, she is not what he wants to be.
Two sides of the same coin, and yet
aliens, foreigners, speaking a different language
They both feel hot, cold, sad, happy
but she allows herself to feel it
He despises her,
even as the feelings of love swell
within his tortured breast
He weeps
She turns softly, sees him and smiles
she offers to comfort him
he turns and runs out
slamming the door
but this time, the door
it stayed open
just a tiny
bit.
Sindee Rilea
4
A new way to celebrate
I sit before my notebook
looking at the blank screen
and ask myself what? What do
I put on this this time? What
experiences are waiting to flood
from my fingers onto the key
board, giving life to a part
of my formerly secret history?
And I realize, there is nothing
to write, beyond I am happy
it is a simple thing, but one I
control. Now, before I could
taste it, occasionally, until
my other half would remind
me I wasn't alone, not
completely, and my anger
and fear would haunt my
thoughts. When offered a penny
for my thoughts, I would laugh
ruefully, 'If you only knew'
And I knew, I knew what
a phony I was, what a lie
my life was, so no being
happy, not then, not ever.
But now I control it. I control
me, my happiness does not
depend on secrecy, lies
My happiness, is all I have
deep in my heart, my wonderful
two hearts.
Sindee Rilea
5
After all
After all
A man is a man, and if he isn't, he is nothing
it's supposed to be sage advice
it is supposed to make one feel like accomplishing something
It hurt.
I was no man, I was no woman, I was nothing
not to be trusted
queer
useless
a girl
that was actually a compliment
and it hurt too.
I tried to be a man
I had the right equipment and abused it like any man
and the women that got used in the process
(If I could, I would take it back)
After all
A man is a man, and if he isn't, he is nothing
unless he is a boy in a dress
then he is just a queer.
after all.
Sindee Rilea
6
Another visit, from myself, to me.
When I open my eyes for the first time
I want to see everything
All of it, good, bad, indifferent
because, I went for far too long with
my eyes closed. Light streams in from
an unusual direction, just over the
shoulder of my former self, me
or, at least, that which was me, a part
that I recognize, am not proud of
but still accept, but looking up
seeing him, he doesn't look sad
like I thought he would be, he smiles
now, and it isn't a front this time
I really think he genuinely means it
he is as happy as I am, happier?
and I can sleep, now
we are at peace. Finally.
Sindee Rilea
7
Being for the benefit of a family rating, (deleted) this!
Coke, heroin, pot, benzedrine and alcohol
And don't forget the sex, oh no. cant forget that.
What was I thinking? Oh yeah, that's right,
crush the life out of this deviant (deleted)
Didn't work, I survived me despite myself
survived and thankfully, recently, have blossomed.
Now all I have to do is figure out, some way
where this vessel is headed, I am in uncharted waters here.
Its scary and exciting and thrilling and energizing
and empowering and agonizing and its (deleted) SCARY!
I love it. Just when I think, this time, this once
I can shut my yap and not tell - I speak right up
I'm TG! And (deleted) I am PROUD of it! I feel pride
in myself, in the fact I wont be silent and keep everyone
comfy and warm and fuzzy and safe.
Not my (deleted) job sister! I take care of ME, I respect
but I wont shed MY self-respect for others. Yes, I watch
to see how someone may take it, I introduce it slow
cause, like me, they don't need a build up, don't need
a heart attack thinking I am dying when all I am doing is
Dressing up. And hey, after all this time in my own personal
(deleted) the only direction I got, is up!
Sindee Rilea
8
First (and almost last) kiss
As if I really needed a new definition of clumsy
our faces slowly crawl towards each other
each juking and jiving like ace fighter pilots
in a dogfight for life.
Its supposed to be a first kiss
I waited how many years for this?
It feels like I should wait another ten or so
I'm nervous, I want to puke
Her hair smells so nice
I can smell the Marlboro on her breath
Oh God, can she smell the cigarettes on mine?
I can't breath, my head is pounding, I am going to pass out
Her eyes just closed
was that supposed to be good or bad?
How easy it is for her, she looks like she is asleep
but I can hear her breathing, I need to go to the bathroom.
Our lips actually meet, okay, I can do this
Wait, her lips are moving, she is OPENING HER MOUTH!
Oh my GOD! her mouth is opening
what do I d..open my mouth, got it.
So should I put my tongue in her mouth,
or does she put hers in mine, I don't know.
Her tongue, it is wet, cool
it feels, good, oh gosh it feels good.
She is hugging me, tight
Ordinarily, being grabbed like this
is cause for a wrestling match
Uh, not today.
We break apart, I can breathe
She smiles 'First kiss'?
I answer 'Nahhh, no big deal'
Her face falls, I turn to walk away
And I fall.
It was SO worth it!
Sindee Rilea
9
I love you, but sorry.
You knew who I was from day one. I
never hid that from you. Never
is a long time, long enough for you to
change your mind. When it was a dirty
little secret it was fine, now, it is a problem
It has grown to a size you cannot handle
It is real I am real, and once free, no more
closeted bondage, no more hiding or lying
less and less you see of him, now you
see me more often than not, and that
Worries you. You no longer exert the control
you once had, you no longer call the shots
when and where and how and why, but you
wait for me, to say those things, and you sit
idly by, waiting to see who emerges.
What ever will you do, when that chrysalis
opens, and you see only yourself? I do. All
the time. It is the only thing I see that I know.
Everything else 'was' not 'is' any longer
'Is' is a very strange place for me,
But I will get used to it, you will walk your own path.
Sindee Rilea
10
In memorium, to my first friend, who died of AIDS complications.
To a friend, who is no longer alive.
(Gray Hankie I'll always love you)
Hey bud
you pissed me off
you made me laugh like a fool
you touched me
You died
you slug, how could you
you were younger than me
yeah, you had that disease
But to the outside
you were fully alive
you were our troupe dad
you died
I hate you
you left me behind
I thought you loved me
I guess you did. I do love you
but now I don't know
your gone
your in my heart
but your image is fading
like a photo
once clear
sharp and clean
age is making it fade
your memory burns bright
my memory burns bright
our days, together
are gone
The tears I spilled
that morning
at work
I couldn't talk, I could only bawl
They sent me home
in no shape to answer phones
or help callers
with their bank accounts
you belong to another
you wont come back
never
so wait for me
11
I'll be there
eventually
its the story of life
No one gets out alive.
Sindee Rilea
12
Saying goodbye to myself, and hating it.
The time is coming, I know it
but, I don't want to admit it, neither
do you, this hurts a lot more than
I thought it would. It was supposed
to be liberating, exciting, but it is more
sad, than anything else. You are a part
of me now, no longer the other way
around. Were you as scared when
I became? Are you as scared and'
hurt as I am now? Do you feel it closing
around you suffocating you? Oh God
I don't want to hurt you, but your killing
me, sweetie. This is for the best. I HATE
that saying, someone has to hurt,
someone has to go. Honey, I love
you, but, you have to go. You took
the best care of me you knew, but,
your toxic. The masculinity you worked
so hard to prove, only proved I was
destined to be, eventually. And
you knew.
I love you, I'm so sorry.
Sindee Rilea
13
Sports
Light, diffuse, soft and warm
enters my barely open eyes
I smell grass and feel breeze
soft, gently blowing a hair loose
I do not wish to continue
waking up, this is so nice
in this gauzy, warm, sweet
dream, I am whomever I please
I am Catherine, well before the fall
of the house of Romanov
and I've no Rasputin to topple me
so I lay there, feeling the fist tingles of pain
My head begins to throb
I imagine the London Symphony
is inside, doing the 1812 Overture
And I am a kettle drum
I open my eyes, bright, harsh,
sunlight floods in I have been out,
cold, again.Not knowing if it was fight or collision,
this time, either way, again.
I prove I am no masculine failure
I am all boy, I fight, curse, play
sports. Hard, all out, and I score
Deep inside I despise me
I am what I detest, a jock
A poser, a lie in shorts and cleats
I look in the sun and see my escape
I hold my breath and the world swims
When I wake up this time
it is to a chemical smell, and I am inside of
it stinks of despair, dashed hopes and
broken dreams, like any stinking high school
I lay there, enjoying the noise, knowing it wont intrude
any further than that dark shadow that warns others
stay out. I can dream, now, dream of the day instead of
a masculine failure, I can be a feminine success.
I see her, when I grow up I wish I could be her
She looks like my mother, I miss her, but I love
Dad, he would never understand, but, knowing him
he would be disappointed, he wants me to earn a letter
Other than a scarlet Q, I mean. I wish I took Home Ec.
14
Sindee Rilea
15
Strange boy
Sitting quietly in the corner
'he's a strange one that boy'
'why doesn't he go outside? Books aren't proper for a boy'
'He needs to be in the scouts'.
Sitting quietly under a tree
'Someone want to build a fire'?
'When I was your age I had a hard time getting along too'
'You'll grow out of this, maybe you need to join a team'
Sitting quietly on the bench
'If you would train harder you could be first string'
'You are going to love basketball, I did'
'You might need to join the Army'
Sitting quietly in a dark hole watching the shadows move
' ' (motion of three fingers, downwards, pumped fist)
' ' (nods yes, releases safety on machine gun, opens fire)
'Maybe you should go to the hospital'
Sitting quietly on a couch
'Unless the attack is on your record we can't help you'
'It'll pass, a lot of soldiers get regrets at first, but you'll be fine'
'Maybe you ought to get a discharge, honorable, of course'
Sitting quietly at the VA
'next'
'last initial last four'
'take these pills and call us if anything changes'
Sitting quietly next to his bed
'I'm going to miss you dad'
'I wish I had told you, dad'
'Maybe I could just live my own life'
Sitting quietly as me, for the first time
What's done is done.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I still love my parents, and miss them.
I will not be quiet any longer.
Sindee Rilea
16
To be Pandora, and to be glad.
I remember, when I first decided I
no longer wished to lie. Or hide
or be invisible, or be powerless over
my fate, any longer. I simply said
Enough! And it was. But, as soon as
I said it, I became Pandora, the
ills, of this world, my world, my private
little hell, were released. And I slammed
the lid down, too late, everything had gotten
loose, loosed upon my little world, my
twisted, painful, little world. I cried and
complained, but it did no good, what had
escaped was gone, loosed, never returning.
I knew what that ancient mythological woman
felt. I knew her despair, and I sat, resolute
not to whine, or cry, or snivel or be a pain
in the neck. No, If she could get through
all the evils in the world being her fault, I
could learn to deal, and that's when I heard
it, the tiny, unmistakable voice, the voice
of Hope. It told me to open the chest the
rest of the way, To let out the last sprite
To let Hope roam free. So I did, I opened
my chest, released hope. And am never
Regretting my decision. The growth I
have received from the personal goddess
has far outweighed the ills I released.
And, sometimes, every once in a while
You got to let it go.
Sindee Rilea
17
Two Hearts
Two hearts, beating strong.
Wasichu, your culture, your heritage
only allows binary definitions
so to you I can only be one, or the other
I am me. I am always together
with my other self, as you are with
yours, the one that smiles, and nods
yet doesn't understand, you feel scorn
for me? I weep for you. You see what
you fear most, yourself, and that makes you
angry. I embrace it, love it, celebrate it and
am, in certain circles, held as sacred.
Yet you see only what you have been
taught to see. What you wish to see
you need to listen, not to my words
words lie, the heart, it never lies
The heart begs me love you, my
spirit tells me to mistrust you, I tell
my spirit to be still, to sit quiet and trust
the heart, I do, now, I didn't, but I learned
My spirit told me I was a great warrior, he lied
my spirit told me I was a great man, he lied
my spirit told me many things, but he lied.
My heart, told me be still, and my heart was right
When I was still, my spirit had nothing to
say, my heart had plenty to say, but bade me
be still, quietly, as a child waiting for a treat
and that's when I finally heard it, beating, quietly but strong
my second heart, myself, now I am never alone.
I am always with me.
Sindee Rilea
18
Unabashed, unapologetic, me, such as it is.
I was born a boy, not a girl and at three years of age
I dressed in girls clothes but only when I wouldn't get caught
I remember because I had a good childhood
I was not abused, ignored or beaten I was encouraged and supported.
My siblings treated me, like, well, a sibling, which is good
We teased each other, fought each other, and stuck up for each other.
If you attacked one, you got attacked back by all three Rilea's
Tough being you if that happened, my big sister was a rottweiler.
So yeah, I remember I remember the fear I had of getting caught,
of being a fag or of disappointing those wonderful parents
I had awesome parents. Mom was supportive and loved intelligence
Dad looked like Ronald Reagen or Dean Martin, I liked that.
And they loved me. Oh, how I wish I understood that
while they were still alive, but I understood I had special
parents, and siblings. Not everyone can claim that.
I can, my sister could, if she was still alive, but she isn't
I never told her about my being a girl, inside, either or my Mom
or Dad, before they all died. I will regret that, but I told my baby
brother. I love him so much, it hurts. But love is painful.
He is everything I could not be. I take a lot of pride in him.
My wife, Sara, knows, she is my BFF, we shop together and she
keeps me from dressing, well, like a whore, I guess she has lots of pride
in me, but Sindee scares her. Because she is afraid Sindee will grow
past her. I can try and tell her what family means to me, but, well, no.
She will have to learn, I don't just need her, I love her
She is my life, as are all my children. And my children's children.
I could no sooner leave her behind, than leave my heart at the air port
She is my heart. Coming out should have happened sooner.
It didn't, I admit, I was a coward, I used the excuse
'In my day...' Yeah, but today isn't 'My day' it is today.
And today, we do not lie about who we are, not if we respect
us and others. You cannot respect others, if you do not respect you.
So yeah, I am a boy in a dress, no apologies, no excuses.
And no tag backs. I am this way, no going back to hiding
lying, about who I am, what I am, what I do and why.
These things matter so little now, for now, I live, and bloom, and
I celebrate, me, all that I am, and those in my life.
Sindee Rilea
19
We used to call it love, now...
Her hands, rough, cold and hard
Her eyes, a far away and crazy look
her mouth, twisted in a parody of seduction
i hate my body
i lie there, time stands still
it will be over soon, just relax
you know you want it
quit being such a wuss
i can smell smoke, and booze
the carpet burns where it meets my skin
i can barely breathe, i want to scream,
i'll not give her the satisfaction, not this time. Never again.
My body responds like it is supposed to
i hate it, i hate me, i hate Her
convulsions, shaking, for her it's over
but, for me
it has just begun. i want to die, but can't.
She controls me, terrorizes me
I cannot see her on the street, in a store
that it doesn't happen all over again
and again
and again
And i cannot scream, like that horrible nightmare
but this time
i wont be
waking up
Sindee Rilea
20
Writers have no secrets. Poets have no shame.
I sit here, writing, or typing
precisely
my feelings, memories, events
to be read
By you, nothing hides me more
than paper
but you see me, my soul, and heart
naked
On your screen, at your desk
whore
putting all of me out there, my emotions
like breasts
fascinating, untouchable if I were a true lady
I'm not
just another literary slut, flashing my soul
for your
prurient pleasure. No designer fashion here
skin deep
deeper by far is my shame, and my pleasure
orgasmic
by nature, this thing I write, this lyrical safari into
my shame
but is it not wrong, just rude, unashamed
civilized
People have shame, animals have ruts. am I
animal
or mineral? its not a game, its my life
up
here, on this page, absolute, open and no makeup
no hiding
No running, I could, but then this would still haunt me
am tired
of ghosts, always running things, making them happen
I
make things happen, now, and always, forever, until
I die
Then, until then, no fate, no destiny, until I have no
density
any longer. I remain my own woman. Haven't always been but will
be.
Sindee Rilea
Sindee Rilea
- poems -
2
Sindee Rilea (25 DEC 1957)
Oh gosh, well, the only real thing I can say about me is 'Illusion is just an
unexplored reality'
A relative of the great Walt Whitman I do not fancy myself the poet he was,
or even much of a poet at all, although I make a meager living as a writer, I
imagine that to the rest of my family (this generation) I am as quixotic
as he was (to his) .Rashly unpredictable.
3
2: 34 a.m.
In the dark recesses of his mind
he creeps in on himself
He sees her lying there, and although they have made peace
He wants to kill her this time
She sleeps, soundly, a soft snore escapes her
He sneers, approaches slowly, deliberately
He raises his hand, like an instrument of divinity
He will rid his world of her
He pauses, stares down at her
her face, soft, beautiful
even angelic
GOD he hates her!
Her kind bother him.
Not intentionally,
her presence makes him uncomfortable
because she is him, and yet, she is not what he wants to be.
Two sides of the same coin, and yet
aliens, foreigners, speaking a different language
They both feel hot, cold, sad, happy
but she allows herself to feel it
He despises her,
even as the feelings of love swell
within his tortured breast
He weeps
She turns softly, sees him and smiles
she offers to comfort him
he turns and runs out
slamming the door
but this time, the door
it stayed open
just a tiny
bit.
Sindee Rilea
4
A new way to celebrate
I sit before my notebook
looking at the blank screen
and ask myself what? What do
I put on this this time? What
experiences are waiting to flood
from my fingers onto the key
board, giving life to a part
of my formerly secret history?
And I realize, there is nothing
to write, beyond I am happy
it is a simple thing, but one I
control. Now, before I could
taste it, occasionally, until
my other half would remind
me I wasn't alone, not
completely, and my anger
and fear would haunt my
thoughts. When offered a penny
for my thoughts, I would laugh
ruefully, 'If you only knew'
And I knew, I knew what
a phony I was, what a lie
my life was, so no being
happy, not then, not ever.
But now I control it. I control
me, my happiness does not
depend on secrecy, lies
My happiness, is all I have
deep in my heart, my wonderful
two hearts.
Sindee Rilea
5
After all
After all
A man is a man, and if he isn't, he is nothing
it's supposed to be sage advice
it is supposed to make one feel like accomplishing something
It hurt.
I was no man, I was no woman, I was nothing
not to be trusted
queer
useless
a girl
that was actually a compliment
and it hurt too.
I tried to be a man
I had the right equipment and abused it like any man
and the women that got used in the process
(If I could, I would take it back)
After all
A man is a man, and if he isn't, he is nothing
unless he is a boy in a dress
then he is just a queer.
after all.
Sindee Rilea
6
Another visit, from myself, to me.
When I open my eyes for the first time
I want to see everything
All of it, good, bad, indifferent
because, I went for far too long with
my eyes closed. Light streams in from
an unusual direction, just over the
shoulder of my former self, me
or, at least, that which was me, a part
that I recognize, am not proud of
but still accept, but looking up
seeing him, he doesn't look sad
like I thought he would be, he smiles
now, and it isn't a front this time
I really think he genuinely means it
he is as happy as I am, happier?
and I can sleep, now
we are at peace. Finally.
Sindee Rilea
7
Being for the benefit of a family rating, (deleted) this!
Coke, heroin, pot, benzedrine and alcohol
And don't forget the sex, oh no. cant forget that.
What was I thinking? Oh yeah, that's right,
crush the life out of this deviant (deleted)
Didn't work, I survived me despite myself
survived and thankfully, recently, have blossomed.
Now all I have to do is figure out, some way
where this vessel is headed, I am in uncharted waters here.
Its scary and exciting and thrilling and energizing
and empowering and agonizing and its (deleted) SCARY!
I love it. Just when I think, this time, this once
I can shut my yap and not tell - I speak right up
I'm TG! And (deleted) I am PROUD of it! I feel pride
in myself, in the fact I wont be silent and keep everyone
comfy and warm and fuzzy and safe.
Not my (deleted) job sister! I take care of ME, I respect
but I wont shed MY self-respect for others. Yes, I watch
to see how someone may take it, I introduce it slow
cause, like me, they don't need a build up, don't need
a heart attack thinking I am dying when all I am doing is
Dressing up. And hey, after all this time in my own personal
(deleted) the only direction I got, is up!
Sindee Rilea
8
First (and almost last) kiss
As if I really needed a new definition of clumsy
our faces slowly crawl towards each other
each juking and jiving like ace fighter pilots
in a dogfight for life.
Its supposed to be a first kiss
I waited how many years for this?
It feels like I should wait another ten or so
I'm nervous, I want to puke
Her hair smells so nice
I can smell the Marlboro on her breath
Oh God, can she smell the cigarettes on mine?
I can't breath, my head is pounding, I am going to pass out
Her eyes just closed
was that supposed to be good or bad?
How easy it is for her, she looks like she is asleep
but I can hear her breathing, I need to go to the bathroom.
Our lips actually meet, okay, I can do this
Wait, her lips are moving, she is OPENING HER MOUTH!
Oh my GOD! her mouth is opening
what do I d..open my mouth, got it.
So should I put my tongue in her mouth,
or does she put hers in mine, I don't know.
Her tongue, it is wet, cool
it feels, good, oh gosh it feels good.
She is hugging me, tight
Ordinarily, being grabbed like this
is cause for a wrestling match
Uh, not today.
We break apart, I can breathe
She smiles 'First kiss'?
I answer 'Nahhh, no big deal'
Her face falls, I turn to walk away
And I fall.
It was SO worth it!
Sindee Rilea
9
I love you, but sorry.
You knew who I was from day one. I
never hid that from you. Never
is a long time, long enough for you to
change your mind. When it was a dirty
little secret it was fine, now, it is a problem
It has grown to a size you cannot handle
It is real I am real, and once free, no more
closeted bondage, no more hiding or lying
less and less you see of him, now you
see me more often than not, and that
Worries you. You no longer exert the control
you once had, you no longer call the shots
when and where and how and why, but you
wait for me, to say those things, and you sit
idly by, waiting to see who emerges.
What ever will you do, when that chrysalis
opens, and you see only yourself? I do. All
the time. It is the only thing I see that I know.
Everything else 'was' not 'is' any longer
'Is' is a very strange place for me,
But I will get used to it, you will walk your own path.
Sindee Rilea
10
In memorium, to my first friend, who died of AIDS complications.
To a friend, who is no longer alive.
(Gray Hankie I'll always love you)
Hey bud
you pissed me off
you made me laugh like a fool
you touched me
You died
you slug, how could you
you were younger than me
yeah, you had that disease
But to the outside
you were fully alive
you were our troupe dad
you died
I hate you
you left me behind
I thought you loved me
I guess you did. I do love you
but now I don't know
your gone
your in my heart
but your image is fading
like a photo
once clear
sharp and clean
age is making it fade
your memory burns bright
my memory burns bright
our days, together
are gone
The tears I spilled
that morning
at work
I couldn't talk, I could only bawl
They sent me home
in no shape to answer phones
or help callers
with their bank accounts
you belong to another
you wont come back
never
so wait for me
11
I'll be there
eventually
its the story of life
No one gets out alive.
Sindee Rilea
12
Saying goodbye to myself, and hating it.
The time is coming, I know it
but, I don't want to admit it, neither
do you, this hurts a lot more than
I thought it would. It was supposed
to be liberating, exciting, but it is more
sad, than anything else. You are a part
of me now, no longer the other way
around. Were you as scared when
I became? Are you as scared and'
hurt as I am now? Do you feel it closing
around you suffocating you? Oh God
I don't want to hurt you, but your killing
me, sweetie. This is for the best. I HATE
that saying, someone has to hurt,
someone has to go. Honey, I love
you, but, you have to go. You took
the best care of me you knew, but,
your toxic. The masculinity you worked
so hard to prove, only proved I was
destined to be, eventually. And
you knew.
I love you, I'm so sorry.
Sindee Rilea
13
Sports
Light, diffuse, soft and warm
enters my barely open eyes
I smell grass and feel breeze
soft, gently blowing a hair loose
I do not wish to continue
waking up, this is so nice
in this gauzy, warm, sweet
dream, I am whomever I please
I am Catherine, well before the fall
of the house of Romanov
and I've no Rasputin to topple me
so I lay there, feeling the fist tingles of pain
My head begins to throb
I imagine the London Symphony
is inside, doing the 1812 Overture
And I am a kettle drum
I open my eyes, bright, harsh,
sunlight floods in I have been out,
cold, again.Not knowing if it was fight or collision,
this time, either way, again.
I prove I am no masculine failure
I am all boy, I fight, curse, play
sports. Hard, all out, and I score
Deep inside I despise me
I am what I detest, a jock
A poser, a lie in shorts and cleats
I look in the sun and see my escape
I hold my breath and the world swims
When I wake up this time
it is to a chemical smell, and I am inside of
it stinks of despair, dashed hopes and
broken dreams, like any stinking high school
I lay there, enjoying the noise, knowing it wont intrude
any further than that dark shadow that warns others
stay out. I can dream, now, dream of the day instead of
a masculine failure, I can be a feminine success.
I see her, when I grow up I wish I could be her
She looks like my mother, I miss her, but I love
Dad, he would never understand, but, knowing him
he would be disappointed, he wants me to earn a letter
Other than a scarlet Q, I mean. I wish I took Home Ec.
14
Sindee Rilea
15
Strange boy
Sitting quietly in the corner
'he's a strange one that boy'
'why doesn't he go outside? Books aren't proper for a boy'
'He needs to be in the scouts'.
Sitting quietly under a tree
'Someone want to build a fire'?
'When I was your age I had a hard time getting along too'
'You'll grow out of this, maybe you need to join a team'
Sitting quietly on the bench
'If you would train harder you could be first string'
'You are going to love basketball, I did'
'You might need to join the Army'
Sitting quietly in a dark hole watching the shadows move
' ' (motion of three fingers, downwards, pumped fist)
' ' (nods yes, releases safety on machine gun, opens fire)
'Maybe you should go to the hospital'
Sitting quietly on a couch
'Unless the attack is on your record we can't help you'
'It'll pass, a lot of soldiers get regrets at first, but you'll be fine'
'Maybe you ought to get a discharge, honorable, of course'
Sitting quietly at the VA
'next'
'last initial last four'
'take these pills and call us if anything changes'
Sitting quietly next to his bed
'I'm going to miss you dad'
'I wish I had told you, dad'
'Maybe I could just live my own life'
Sitting quietly as me, for the first time
What's done is done.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I still love my parents, and miss them.
I will not be quiet any longer.
Sindee Rilea
16
To be Pandora, and to be glad.
I remember, when I first decided I
no longer wished to lie. Or hide
or be invisible, or be powerless over
my fate, any longer. I simply said
Enough! And it was. But, as soon as
I said it, I became Pandora, the
ills, of this world, my world, my private
little hell, were released. And I slammed
the lid down, too late, everything had gotten
loose, loosed upon my little world, my
twisted, painful, little world. I cried and
complained, but it did no good, what had
escaped was gone, loosed, never returning.
I knew what that ancient mythological woman
felt. I knew her despair, and I sat, resolute
not to whine, or cry, or snivel or be a pain
in the neck. No, If she could get through
all the evils in the world being her fault, I
could learn to deal, and that's when I heard
it, the tiny, unmistakable voice, the voice
of Hope. It told me to open the chest the
rest of the way, To let out the last sprite
To let Hope roam free. So I did, I opened
my chest, released hope. And am never
Regretting my decision. The growth I
have received from the personal goddess
has far outweighed the ills I released.
And, sometimes, every once in a while
You got to let it go.
Sindee Rilea
17
Two Hearts
Two hearts, beating strong.
Wasichu, your culture, your heritage
only allows binary definitions
so to you I can only be one, or the other
I am me. I am always together
with my other self, as you are with
yours, the one that smiles, and nods
yet doesn't understand, you feel scorn
for me? I weep for you. You see what
you fear most, yourself, and that makes you
angry. I embrace it, love it, celebrate it and
am, in certain circles, held as sacred.
Yet you see only what you have been
taught to see. What you wish to see
you need to listen, not to my words
words lie, the heart, it never lies
The heart begs me love you, my
spirit tells me to mistrust you, I tell
my spirit to be still, to sit quiet and trust
the heart, I do, now, I didn't, but I learned
My spirit told me I was a great warrior, he lied
my spirit told me I was a great man, he lied
my spirit told me many things, but he lied.
My heart, told me be still, and my heart was right
When I was still, my spirit had nothing to
say, my heart had plenty to say, but bade me
be still, quietly, as a child waiting for a treat
and that's when I finally heard it, beating, quietly but strong
my second heart, myself, now I am never alone.
I am always with me.
Sindee Rilea
18
Unabashed, unapologetic, me, such as it is.
I was born a boy, not a girl and at three years of age
I dressed in girls clothes but only when I wouldn't get caught
I remember because I had a good childhood
I was not abused, ignored or beaten I was encouraged and supported.
My siblings treated me, like, well, a sibling, which is good
We teased each other, fought each other, and stuck up for each other.
If you attacked one, you got attacked back by all three Rilea's
Tough being you if that happened, my big sister was a rottweiler.
So yeah, I remember I remember the fear I had of getting caught,
of being a fag or of disappointing those wonderful parents
I had awesome parents. Mom was supportive and loved intelligence
Dad looked like Ronald Reagen or Dean Martin, I liked that.
And they loved me. Oh, how I wish I understood that
while they were still alive, but I understood I had special
parents, and siblings. Not everyone can claim that.
I can, my sister could, if she was still alive, but she isn't
I never told her about my being a girl, inside, either or my Mom
or Dad, before they all died. I will regret that, but I told my baby
brother. I love him so much, it hurts. But love is painful.
He is everything I could not be. I take a lot of pride in him.
My wife, Sara, knows, she is my BFF, we shop together and she
keeps me from dressing, well, like a whore, I guess she has lots of pride
in me, but Sindee scares her. Because she is afraid Sindee will grow
past her. I can try and tell her what family means to me, but, well, no.
She will have to learn, I don't just need her, I love her
She is my life, as are all my children. And my children's children.
I could no sooner leave her behind, than leave my heart at the air port
She is my heart. Coming out should have happened sooner.
It didn't, I admit, I was a coward, I used the excuse
'In my day...' Yeah, but today isn't 'My day' it is today.
And today, we do not lie about who we are, not if we respect
us and others. You cannot respect others, if you do not respect you.
So yeah, I am a boy in a dress, no apologies, no excuses.
And no tag backs. I am this way, no going back to hiding
lying, about who I am, what I am, what I do and why.
These things matter so little now, for now, I live, and bloom, and
I celebrate, me, all that I am, and those in my life.
Sindee Rilea
19
We used to call it love, now...
Her hands, rough, cold and hard
Her eyes, a far away and crazy look
her mouth, twisted in a parody of seduction
i hate my body
i lie there, time stands still
it will be over soon, just relax
you know you want it
quit being such a wuss
i can smell smoke, and booze
the carpet burns where it meets my skin
i can barely breathe, i want to scream,
i'll not give her the satisfaction, not this time. Never again.
My body responds like it is supposed to
i hate it, i hate me, i hate Her
convulsions, shaking, for her it's over
but, for me
it has just begun. i want to die, but can't.
She controls me, terrorizes me
I cannot see her on the street, in a store
that it doesn't happen all over again
and again
and again
And i cannot scream, like that horrible nightmare
but this time
i wont be
waking up
Sindee Rilea
20
Writers have no secrets. Poets have no shame.
I sit here, writing, or typing
precisely
my feelings, memories, events
to be read
By you, nothing hides me more
than paper
but you see me, my soul, and heart
naked
On your screen, at your desk
whore
putting all of me out there, my emotions
like breasts
fascinating, untouchable if I were a true lady
I'm not
just another literary slut, flashing my soul
for your
prurient pleasure. No designer fashion here
skin deep
deeper by far is my shame, and my pleasure
orgasmic
by nature, this thing I write, this lyrical safari into
my shame
but is it not wrong, just rude, unashamed
civilized
People have shame, animals have ruts. am I
animal
or mineral? its not a game, its my life
up
here, on this page, absolute, open and no makeup
no hiding
No running, I could, but then this would still haunt me
am tired
of ghosts, always running things, making them happen
I
make things happen, now, and always, forever, until
I die
Then, until then, no fate, no destiny, until I have no
density
any longer. I remain my own woman. Haven't always been but will
be.
Sindee Rilea
ALL POEMS OF SINNA GOTTY
Poetry Series
Sinna Gotty
- poems -
= 2
Dolphines
This is a story read on dolphines are cool i love dolphines i am sorry person
Sinna Gotty
3
Hannah
hannah hannah
so weird
Sinna Gotty
4
True friend
To be a friend
To be a friend
be true
be you
nobody else
but you
Sinna Gotty
5
Water
Water, water
everywhere
where are you nobody can see you but me
Sinna Gotty
Sinna Gotty
- poems -
= 2
Dolphines
This is a story read on dolphines are cool i love dolphines i am sorry person
Sinna Gotty
3
Hannah
hannah hannah
so weird
Sinna Gotty
4
True friend
To be a friend
To be a friend
be true
be you
nobody else
but you
Sinna Gotty
5
Water
Water, water
everywhere
where are you nobody can see you but me
Sinna Gotty
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